Thursday, July 07, 2011

In Defense of Spader: A Retort

We at SoSG are a collective, not unlike the Borg or the Tea Party. But I do have to take umbrage with Mr. Sax's assault on one James Spader. (Too lazy to put in a link... just scroll down a little and you'll see his article.) [Sax's update: I'm a glutton for punishment, so here's the link, DD.]

1. The Office this season was pretty half-baked. Interesting ideas would come up (The Whistleblower), only to quickly fizzle out. There was a flashback episode as bad as anything I've ever seen on NBC. So new blood can only help the wheezing franchise.

2. James Spader was far and away the best candidate from their finale. Mr. Sax, if that's you real name, I think you still consider Spader as the soul-less preppie from Pretty in Pink and Less Than Zero

But since that time, he's evolved courtesy of the immovable force that is...

When you dance with the devil, the devil don't change. The devil changes you.

Years together on Boston Legal transformed Spader into a gloriously strange, Walken-ish creature.

Or to put it in Sax language, remember when Peter Parker was on the foreign planet of Secret Wars, and opted to use an alien machine to fix his costume?

And his new black threads turned out to be an alien symbiote? Well - that's what Spader is now. A hybrid of his own DNA mixed with Shatner, thus creating...

Just what The Office ordered. Q.E.D.

PS - If you're in the mood to see more terrible / brilliant rip-offs like Spader-Man and ROBERT COP, click over to Cracked's (yes, Cracked) 15 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Bootleg Toys.


Steve Sax said...

Tim Hudson badge coveters, head on over to Gameday; ATL leads COL 5-2 in the fourth, with Hudson needing one more out to be eligible for his WIN badge (which won't register until the end of the game, obviously).

Kyle Baker said...

We almost, but not quite, entirely unlike the Tea Party.

Steve Sax said...

Well, now that you compare James Spader to an alien symbiote that eventually turns on Spider-Man out of jealousy and infects a human host to become a dangerous villain on its own before asexually reproducing offspring with psychopathic behavior amplifying the first incarnation's powers and danger...

...well, now I'm moderately interested.