Random rantings and ravings about the Los Angeles Dodgers, written by a small consortium of rabid Dodger fans. With occasional comments on baseball, entertainment, pop culture, and life in general.
Clayton Kershaw (10-4, 2.88) vs. Tim Lincecum (8-7, 2.99).
Dammit, I'm running out of ways to say WE SUCK. The Giants go for the series sweep in a lunchtime special today, and it figures to be a pitchers' duel. The Dodger bats figure to score fewer runs than can fit in a breadbox, the Dodgers figure to take a depressingly quiet charter home, and Dodger fans figure to contemplate new methods of ritual disembowelment. Happy Wednesday!
4/3 vs. SF (W, 5-4): Sax
4/15 vs. WSH (L, 4-6): Dusty, Orel, Sax
5/6 vs. MIA (W, 6-3): AC, Sax
5/16 vs. CIN (L, 2-7): AC, Sax
6/12 vs. TEX (L, 2-3): Sax
7/5 vs. MIL (W, 8-5): Sax
7/21 vs. BOS (W, 9-6): Sax
7/24 vs. SF (L, 3-8): Sax
8/24 vs. TB (L, 8-9 (10)): Sax
8/29 vs. BAL (W, 6-3): Orel, Sax
9/9 vs. CHC (L, 4-10): Sax
10/5 NLDS G1 vs. SD (W, 7-5): Sax
10/6 NLDS G2 vs. SD (L, 2-10): Orel, Sax
10/25 WS G1 vs. NYY (W, 6-3 (10)): Sax
98 comments:
I should have written the PGT for yesterday's game, but yeah this just about sums it up well.
I'll be watching, nonetheless.
(installs new Mac OS)
I HATE BOTH OF THESE TEAMS.
It has been a while since I upgraded DB, what am I missing.
Atleast we can embrace the suck earlier in the day...
We got this!
(cries)
Hooray! I get to get today's punishment out of the way early. Leaves more time for soul-restoring boozing. Prepare yourselves, Seattle bars. Happy hour will be mine.
We'll win this one. I swear!
(drinking Cool-Aid)
Wij zuigen
Nous suçons
Wir saugen
Απορροφάμε
Succhiamo
私達は吸う
우리는 빤다
Nós sugamos
Мы всасываем
Aspiramos
(Babelfish'd)
Pentland must be pissed. The last hitting coach of an offensively inept Dodger team got a PROMOTION.
Jeff Pentland was fired as hitting coach last night. Dave Hansen is taking over for the rest of the year.
Who will be the next scapegoat, then?
I can't bear to watch.
In case you're wondering:
Gwynn LF
Furcal SS
Ethier RF
Kemp CF
Rivera 1B
Navarro C
Urine 3B
Carroll 2B
Kershaw P
We should at least swap the second and sixth spots to spell "FUCK" at the bottom, which is where we are
I think I've yelled "Gfekrnuck!" once or twice this season.
WE'RE SELLING!
Problem is, we're selling crap.
I want to get my Kershaw badge today, dammit (7 Ks)
Yep, the market for Mr. First-Pitch-GIDP is gonna be SCORCHING.
Clayton: 2 Ks in the first
Cin 3, Pit 1: no badges earned
End of the second inning for the Dodgers goes like this:
Navarro coaxes a 10-pitch, one-out walk off of Lincecum. And then Urine comes up and ON THE FIRST PITCH GIDPs.
Brilliant, Urine, you piece of crap
I liked the list of For Sale players they had on MLBTR. The only guy I would miss for even an instant would be Hiro, but I would miss him anyway because this team will drive him straight to retirment, or suicide
Pentland told Dylan Hernandez that he believes it was Frank's call to fire him.
Keep calm and blame Frank, indeed.
MIN 7, CLE 5. Nick Blackburn does not get the win for the Twins, but his seven-K performance earns him the 6K badge. Whoo hoo!
Dempster fell one K short of his badge. Oh, and his Cubs are losing 8-0 in the sixth.
At a glance, Brandon Crawford looks like Ethier at the plate.
And Navarro's throws look like he should be on the disabled list with a case of the yips. Long live A.J. Ellis!
This Kershaw kid is a pretty good pitcher. Maybe the Dodgers should sign him long-term?
Kershaw escapes another Navarro-inflicted jam.
Clayton gets another K in the second inning. He has three and is almost halfway to his badge.
If Navarro joins Uribe on even a modest-sized boat, we would have the literal embodiment of the term "sunk cost."
@Jason: nah, let's sign Juan Uribe to three years instead of giving Kershaw a long-term deal.
And hey, let's get Juan Rivera, too!
And Juan Castro!
And pay for Juan Pierre!
And drink Juan Valdez coffee!
@Jason and Josh S: you both have awesome comments this game (11:59a and 1:19p, respectfully). This is going to be a tough call.
I want to see Kershaw take Timmah deep right here.
Eh, Kershaw is still pretty good.
FUCK YOU FIREWALL, I WANT MY KERSHAW BADGE.
Weird. The Kershaw badge is checked off, but he only has three.
that's strange, I already got the Kershaw badge, even though he only has three Ks so far.
It's already in my case.
Whoo hoo! I'll take it!
Josh S: We make Kershaw badge party!
it's only the third inning and Ethier has 3 LOB already
The vendor in the stands behind home plate has the number 42 on the back of his garishly orange shirt.
Clayton's got 5 Ks through three innings.
Dodgers aren't losing yet, 0-0.
Uribe: still sucks
Carroll really showing the gritty hustle he is so known for there. I need booze. A lot of booze.
we will never score
that sounds like as conversation I had with my friends in High School
this is much more pathetic
Question: if a .173 hitter who has already gotten his hit this game comes to the plate, does he get another hit?
Answer: Only if Timmah washed his hair between innings. So, no.
Pitching to Kemp here would be the dumbest possible thing the Giants could do.
DAMMIT!
This is going rather well.
Wash yer hair, Timmeh!!!
yeah, that inning ended up about as planned.
furcal grounds out
ethier doubles (surprise!)
but kemp Ks
and rivera Ks
sigh
re: badges
Urine to get two hits? Riiiiiiiight. It must take a special kind of asshole to sit around and develop the badge criteria for the day.
Kid K Badge! YES!!!!
This will likely be the high point in my day. 2:19pm - mark it.
I still didn't get the Kershaw badge. It's like the universe is just baiting me at this point.
Clayton strikes out the side in the sixth. He's got nine Ks.
Unfortunately the Dodgers are not doing anything from the plate to support him.
Fire Dave Hansen!
Wha?!?
And the universe corrects itself.
Giant fan verbal assault incoming...
I'm going to suggest that giving up the second out to move Carroll to second with Gwynn due up is not an improvement on letting Kershaw swing away.
@Sax (1.17)
Does that make things any better?
Kershaw in 2012
Dioner made a splash, but was disappointed that it wasn't into a bowl of chili.
@Neeebs 2:30p: Yes, it does.
Navarro, you can come out of the dining room where Urine has firmly posted himself.
What? You don't want to leave the dining room?
that is the only run that Kershaw will get to work with this game, btw
When did Tony LaRussa start managing the Giants?
KFP was holding that can of dip like he was trying to hear the ocean in a conch shell.
@Sax:
Can you tell Uribe/Navarro to leave me some of that turkey at the corner of your table? I hope there is some left on the carcas.
Item one on Hansen's to-do list: introduce the Dodgers hitters to the slider and how to lay off it.
Damn. Krampus Jr. is doing his job.
(fails at new OS install)
(has bad HD)
(cries)
Item .5 on Hansen's to-do list: introduce the Dodgers hitters to a bat and how to swing it.
that was a thoroughly unsatisfying end to a two-on, none-out "threat"
@Neeebs 2:53p: but Uribe *IS* the turkey
KKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKK
@Sax: insert dark meat comment here.
(inserts dark meat)
Quick, someone score Carroll from second before he's traded!
Maybe Pentland sucked at teaching batters to bunt. Donnie loves his bunting.
look at those cnuts due up in the bottom of the 9th. They would hit three straight homers if they would be allowed to bat after the second one
wow, Dre was playing second CF there
two rips, two outs
I told myself I wasn't going to watch. What the hell is wrong with me?
Mr C I've been telling myself that all season
Javy, Javy, Javy.
*dances the Javy Nagila around his desk*
FUCK YEAH!
Well, that was pleasantly unexpected.
Guerra K's Lizard Lips
Clayton wins, Dodgers still lose
I will fucking TAKE it!
We...win?
wait, we didn't lose?
holy shit we won a game
Now I can go back to being infuriated following the bankruptcy hearing on twitter...I mean go back to work. Yeah. Work.
PGT up!
Giants down!
We make parrty!
too many r's there!
Actually, to my eyes, you are still missing one "r."
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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