Ted Lilly (6-10, 5.08) vs. Josh Collmenter (6-5, 2.74).
You know what you're going to get with Ted Lilly: five or six innings and an insurmountable deficit of runs. You know what you're going to get with Josh Collmenter: that funky-chicken delivery. You know what you're going to get at Dodger Stadium on a Friday night: fireworks. And you know what you're going to get when you use the restroom at a bus station: herpes. So slap on the baseball equivalent of an ass-gasket — low expectations! — and enjoy tonight's game.
155 comments:
200,000th Collment!
Under!
Orel's feeling optimistic today!
Chien-Ming Wang's season ERA is a line.
Now it is 36.00.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
http://t.co/vXDJBBQ
Eerily prescient, as that does seem to be a decent metaphor for the future of this organization.
Furcal - SS
Miles - 3B
Ethier - RF
Kemp - CF
Rivera - LF
Loney - 1B
Navarro - C
Velez - 2B
Lilly - P
Which occurs more tonight: Lilly HR-against or Velez weak ground outs?
CARLOS MONASTERIOS IS NOT THE SHORT TO MEDIUM TERM FUTURE OF THIS FRANCHISE!
Let's see - go to grocery store per wife, or sit around and wait for the SoSG Streaking Game thread?
Who's taking the over on that?
Who's taking the over/under on a booze thread post by 6pm?
Aha, that explains the herpes.
Dusty, you didn't tell me im going to get in trouble with ms dusty!
Wotchale! I'm back in my apartment and hope to watch tonight's game!
I'm extremely confused by the streaking game.
Dodgers Badge #1 tonight: Ted Lilly (Win)
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Dodgers badge #2 tonight: Urine HR
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha (Urine isn't even in the lineup)
Dodgers badge #3: Jamey Carroll double.
Could happen...except he isn't in the starting lineup, either
Way to fuck with the Dodgers fans, mlb!
(sobs)
(bawls)
(dry heaves)
Blogger time 7 mins different than real time?
As defined by AT&T
Phiwwies get Pence? Cause they weren't good enough yet.
My god that's a shitty lineup.
On the bus, Vinny!
Off the wagon, Vinny!
So, did the Sillies steal Pence? I was never that impressed with the guy, but he is damn fast.
Quiet.
Too quiet.
Something's afoot.
Whining abt the streaking game, RBN!
Vinny hasn't pronounced the Dbags pitcher's name twice the same way yet tonight.
@Jason 4:40:
Velez flied out, so does Lilly lead 1-0?
If only I understood that whole streaking game.
Coll-menter
Colemn-ter
Col-menter
Tomayto
Toemahto
Nice piece-o-hitting!
RETURN OF THE BISON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Juan Rivera: Good job.
Does anyone hit homers to center with less effort than Matty?
Loney up with no chance for the GIDP.
Strange.
@Josh: His name was Jimmy Wynn, and I think he's dead.
Lilly with the fielding gem!
That was sarcastic, for those of you not keeping score at home.
Well, Lilly is to blame for Lilly's run because of Lilly's error.
I'm glad they resigned him for, like, 10 years in the off-season.
Oh here's the game thread...
Less go doyers!
Kill Lilly...
Vin loves Roberts' tattoos. He should start a blog about them.
What's Lilly been averaging 5 1/3 innings?
We'd like to welcome those of you just joining the GT from the Streaking Thread, whatever the hell that was. Here, our pitcher is trying to negate the first 3-run homer for the Dodgers this year.
Thanks for joining us, I'm checking out.
#stupidsoftballgame
^;
cc: Dusty
Excuse me. . .swing.
OK peeps, I'm out like Ricky Martin on CNN.
Do it again, Matt.
Rancho ardiendo for the Bison, Dodgers up 3-2 with two out in the bottom of the fourth
Sax here has 248 badges, working on his 16th case
Reds win the game in the bottom of the 13th, with Brian Wilson entering and only managing to get one out while walking two and giving up two singles, the latter of which won the game for the Reds, 4-3.
Whoo hoo!
MARRY ME BISON!!!!
Matt Kemp is a god.
2-RBI single for Matt Kemp!
5 RBI for Kemp tonight, and we're not even halfway through the game
5-2 LA
MARRY MR. F, BISON!!!
Even better on the Giants' loss to the Reds tonight: it was off the bat of Edgar Renteria, Giants' WS MVP from last year
gotta watch Brett Gardner pound the bat in frustration, snapping his bat, after he Ks to lose the game to the Orioles. BAL 4, NYY 2
Due up in the fifth for the Dodgers: Loney, Navarro, Velez: The 0-Fers!
Wow Loney. At least try to have a good at-bat...
James Loney hasn't had a multi-hit game in his last 18 games
Since climbing from the .160s all the way up to .280 June 25, he's spent a month descending in to .257 mediocrity
He's had four extra base hits ALL MONTH
I just sneezed something black? on my screen.
Ryan Roberts really runs.
Black? Means good things ahead. Green means losing money and yellow means your an alien.
Looks like a tattoo of Peter Criss on that D-Bags neck.
If the hot sister was actually pitching I'd feel a whole lot better about this game.
I grab laundry and I come back and we've given up 2 runs?!
We need Gurreerrrr right hurrrrr.
Spank: it's like the old sailor's adage: black snot at night, SoSG commenters need 409 cleaner for their laptop screen.
@Mr F, what the hell are you doing getting your laundry now?
DAMMIT
Mr. F you can never do laundry again.
5-4 dodgers, two men on in th etop of the sixth, one out and one run already in this inning.
Come on, Guerrier.
hey, that's a good start
that's the fastest I've seen navarro move in weeks
he must have thought it was a piece of peach pie
I can see Mr. C shows up early and runs over to a Red Sox blog quickly.
Mr F, there are two sides to every pair of underwear.
save water, dude (and the Dodgers)
charley just said "the dodgers are 35-4 when leading after six innings"
we haven't gotten to the end of the sixth inning (or at least to the point where we're sure we'll be leading), you idiot
hey, nice job Matty G
NOW we'll be leading after six innings.
however, I still don't feel reassured
Free Mr. F's undergarments!
Okay maybe keep them on Mr. F
Mlasf,I mean Miles is batting.
Watch out for the backsides of them undergarments. Just saying.
hey, nice bit of basehitting there Andre!
RBI single
6-4 LA
Hmm. I want to beat the Snakes, but if we beat the Snakes, we make it esaier for the Giants.
This is a quandary.
Oh, I forgot: we're making our move up the division. We should just win.
MATT KEMP YOU ARE WORTHLESS WITH THAT GIDP
(except thanks those other five RBIs were clutch.)
Up jumps the Demel, Kemp gidp
The snakes really have no chance without a Giant meltdown.
Josh's team is headed for October baseball.
MATT KEMP, YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS WITH PLAYS LIKE THAT IN CENTER FIELD
MATT FUCKING KEMP!!!
"Has a ballplayer ever come of age like Matt Kemp?" -- Vin Scully
252 badges
I feel like the black symbiotic suit of Spider-Man
Why don't we retire #55?
100
DAMMIT
@Paul: Yeah, Russell Martin was awesome for a while
Giving it up.
Fiddlesticks.
That was indeed a bomb by Upton there.
6-5 Dodgers, two out in the seventh
make that three
bring on the seventh inning stretch
Goddamn Urine you suck!
I know that was Rivera batting but I needed to call someone Urine.
Thanks Sax. I wanted someone to hit that hanging curveball out.
Re: #55
FJL gets a one-out single. Wow.
Dinner strikes fear in the heart of Gibson.
With Monasterios out, this whole season is dead to me.
With Dioner and Uribe in, this whole season is dead to me.
With Dioner and Uribe in, this whole post-game team spread is decimated.
Confundus charm.
7-5 dodgers, one out, two RISP and Ackbar up
Don't let it be a trap,Fucker!
Upton's throw wasn't even CLOSE to the zip code of the plate
Vin Scully is not a fan of Justin Upton's fielding
Raffy with a double to score Gwynn!
9-5 Dodgers
Navarro ran home on that flyout as if someone rang the dinner bell.
The root is on!
"...and the route is on!" (Vin Scully, as interpreted by Dusty)
See that, Frisco? Cannon for an arm, strong bat, fleet feet, Furcal's got it all, and he can be all yours IF the price is right!
Vin had a point about Upton, but I don't know how it would have been possible to catch that ball "on the dead run."
The throw was shit, though.
in between innings, i'm trying to do the last puzzle of this
http://jayisgames.com/archives/2011/07/you_are_games_letters_in_boxes_9_humble_indie_bundle_edition.php
^ The sac fly ball, I mean.
only 35K paid attendance on a friday fireworks night. ouch.
somebody send a APB out for Dusty Baker. I've looked here under the bar and he's not there.
MacDougal with a smooth 8th
He mad atchoo, Sax.
An maybe at me too.
I'm still mad at Sax. But then again, I'm always mad at Sax.
DC RULEZ.
Being mad at Saxy was so last year.
Boooooze status: Oh crap wrong site.
Mattingly ain't fucking around no' mo'. Guerra coming in to pitch the ninth up by 4.
They sure don't rule 2011 movies, MLASC.
The Dodger kids backpack is shaped like Urine's head.
'
^ Cc: White Chocolate
What are you talking about, Josh? Green Lantern: Emerald Knights was great!
Who is this Ryan Reynolds you speak of?
Random thought: Perhaps Dodger Stadium should retire "Kickstart My Heart" out of respect for Jansen.
I need to see that DVD, actually.
When does Aquaman get a movie?
I lost Vinny!!
technical difficulties? what the fuck, fox sports west?
Blanco is one seedy-lookin' muhfugger.
@Paul - When Entourage reflects reality. Which is never.
Stoopid Warner Bros. sucks at making anything DC-related.
If I ever meet David E. Kelly, I'm giving him a swift kick in the ass.
Aquaman the Movie! Who is that dude's arch nemisis?
*David E. Kelley
I remember when I was a kid I really thought people in bars looked like they did in beer commercials.
How come I have this weird feeling if Guerra was closing games that mattered he would start to suck.
Hit him in the head!!
We make potty!!
*runs around with Mr.F's underwear on his head*
I hate how the At Bat 11 app shuts down the audio feed so quickly after a game.
Kemp is so within himself and yet so amazing, even on the post-game interview he's awesome.
Shit, when did Philly get Hunter Pence?
PGT up. Go get yourself checked for herpes.
@PPR 10:48p: totally agree with you on the at bat radio feed. it used to be that they'd let it go on for hours afterward; you could hear the post-game show with ken and josh and then roll right into kabc programming. (sigh)
I'm not sure what a "d" is.
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