Thursday, June 10, 2010

Frank & Jamie Decided to Shpunt

The McCourt marriage may have been split in two, but Frank & Jamie's power to embarrass the Dodgers and their fans remains fully intact. I haven't the time to fully activate the Snarkitron 3000, but this is too good not to present for general mockery. From "Dodgers tap into 'V energy' " by Bill Shaikin at the LA Times:

Vladimir Shpunt, 71, lived most of his life in Russia. He has three degrees in physics and a letter of reference from a Nobel Prize winner.

He knows next to nothing about baseball.

Yet the Dodgers hired him to, well, think blue.

Frank and Jamie McCourt paid him to help the team win by sending positive energy over great distances.

Shpunt says he is a scientist and a healer, not a magician. His method could not guarantee the Dodgers would win, he says, but it could make a difference.

"Maybe it is just a little," he said. "Maybe it can help."

In the five years he worked for the Dodgers, he attended just one game. Instead, he watched them on television in his home more than 3,000 miles from Dodger Stadium, channeling his thoughts toward the team's success.

Shpunt's work was one of the best-kept secrets of the McCourt era. The couple kept it hidden even from the team's top executives. But from e-mails and interviews, a picture emerges of how the emigre physicist tried to use his long-distance energy to give the Dodgers an edge.

The McCourts, who are embroiled in a contentious divorce, declined to be interviewed about Shpunt. Through their representatives, Frank said it was Jamie's idea to hire him and Jamie said it was Frank's. [...]

It is unclear how much Shpunt was paid. Cohen, who negotiated on behalf of Shpunt, would not say. Dodgers attorney Marshall Grossman said he did not know and could not find a copy of the contract.

But Bert Fields, an attorney for Jamie, said the Dodgers paid Shpunt a stipend, plus a bonus of "certainly six figures and even higher" depending on whether the Dodgers won the National League West title and how far the team advanced in the playoffs.

(Bolding ours.) Your ticket dollars, hard at work! And are you saying that Vladimir Shpunt is worth as much as Drew and Travis McCourt? Maybe we can hire Mr. Shpunt to mesmerize Frank into selling the team.


LLCoolL said...

Well you can't argue with the results. Somebody put him to work on the oil spill!

Neeebs (The Original) said...

There once was a Ruskie named Vlad
Who's "thoughts" can reverse all things bad.
His work was well storied
So he lent support to Joe Torre
And for six figures that's all he had.

Greg Hao said...

I delight in making fun of the McCourts as much as anybody but I have a hard time getting it up for this particular story.

People involved in schools are superstitious? Fuckin' somebody call the papers! (Oh wait, I guess that's how Shaikin got involved), but this isn't all that different from Jerry West who always ate the same pre-game meal and drive the same exact route to the Forum on game days.

Or how about a story like this: and this:

Kyle Baker said...

To paraphrase myself from last night, if the McCourts wanted long distance good vibes they could have just employed Karina.