Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Like a BrAD PENNY...

...I always turn up. But unlike a certain former Dodger, I don't turn up at the Playboy mansion. According to Maria Venus (on Howard Stern this morning), Pauly Shore, Jared Leto, Billy Corgan, and Brad Penny used to hit on her all the time. I have to admit, being one degree of separation from Pauly Shore has been both my biggest hope and biggest fear. (Never heard of Maria Venus? Nobody has. But, she looks like this...)

And unlike Brad, I never turn up on stage with rock/MMA star Chuck Liddell.

And unlike Mr. Penny, I've never turned up in Alyssa Milano's bedroom. Or in the pages of her new book (which is being released on paperback next week. Buy it here and help a fellow Dodger Blogger climb the Amazon charts from rank #682,730).

Carl Pavano — Yes. Tom Glavine — No. Barry Zito — Yes. Josh Beckett — God, no (although I do think he is an amazing pitcher). Brad Penny — Yes. Russell Martin — No.

OK, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let me preface this by saying, I am friends with almost all my exes that I have had substantial relationships with. Except for one guy who wasn't a ballplayer but was a player nevertheless and just an overall jackass (you know who you are). Carl, Barry and Brad are amazing guys, and I have nothing but respect for them. I really look back on that time of my life with great fondness. I don't have much of a social life, but I do have season tickets for the Dodgers.


Fred's Brim said...

Billy Corgan with Jessica Simspon, and now this? I had no idea he was such a horndog for the megasluts

He must have gotten a hold of some of whatever Adam Duritz has been using all of these years

chexxum said...

I resent that Josh Beckett gets a "GOD, NO!! EWWW" because I've been told I look like him, minus the pitching ability, which she thinks is his only redeeming quality :(.

Delino DeShields, Sr said...

Look what she did to those other guys' pitching. Chex - I think you're dodging a bullet.