Thursday, January 17, 2008

Bring on this Little S--T !

The Red Sox are coming to Los Angeles, in a one-time pre-season battle in the city's second worst sporting arena, and you can get your tickets here. (Note: We do not endorse the website Goldstar, and they sure as f--k don't sponsor us). I hope I can get my usual USC season tickets behind the endzone, so I can catch a towering Juan Pierre dinger.

I'm normally cautious of exhibition matches. In the WWF, it was a cheap way for the champ to lose and still keep his belt. But as Rocky Balboa showed us, an exhibition battle can lead to twelve rounds of blood, sweat, and slow motion montages.

I'm missing the old whining, martyr Boston fan. Hopefully this season will end their cocky veneers, FOREVER! And what better place to start than the same stadium where Raiders fans regularly pummeled everything they touched (including their chances of keeping a football team in this city).

97-Year Old Rejects Public's Affection, Also Wants You to Get Off His Lawn

Who the heck does John Wooden think he is? The LA Times reports today that UCLA officials have told fans they may no longer ask for the legendary coach's autograph at Pauley Pavilion. Apparently, he would prefer to watch the game uninterrupted, rather than address his line of 10-15 fans which runs continuously through games.

Before Wednesday's weekly media session began, spokesman Marc Dellins asked that the word be put out that fans won't be allowed to continuously walk up to the former coach during games and ask for autographs and that Wooden will no longer sign autographs during games at Pauley.

Wooden always finds it difficult to turn down requests and although most fans are pleasant and patient, it is not uncommon to see a line of 10 or 15 lined up in the narrow aisle at Pauley waiting for an autograph.

Dellins said the request came from Wooden's family. "He's coming to watch the game and enjoy the game," Dellins said.

It seems to me that if Wooden wanted to watch a UCLA basketball game interrupted, he should have stayed on as head coach, where no one could bother him. He made the choice to retire in 1975 (right before his tenth and final NCAA championship), and now, 33 years later, he's paying the consequences. What, we're supposed to respect your wishes just because you're the greatest college basketball coach in the history of the sport, a UCLA legend, and a wonderful man and role model? Come on.

I suppose, alongside his quotes of "Failing to prepare is preparing to fail" and "Intensity makes you stronger; emotionalism makes you weaker", we can add "Don't bother me during a basketball game (unless you're bringing me a churro and a coke)".

photo: Lori Shepler/LAT

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Derek Lowe Becomes Resident Team Giant

Mark Hendrickson was picked up by the Marlins in a one-year deal for $1.5M. I'm sure he'll pick up right where Dontrelle Willis left off.

In other news, the Dodgers' chances of a >4 game win streak have substantially improved.

Dodgers Mailbag Highlights: How To Say Something Without Saying Something

Ken Gurnick delicately slaloms his way through this week's Dodgers mailbag. But the last two questions of the mailbag demonstrate that Gurnick is clearly rapping the flags with his pole as he passes:

Some fans have been condemning Ned Colletti for signing Juan Pierre last year, placing a lot of blame on his throwing. Is there a stat to track how many runners actually did advance because of this throwing inability? --Pete L., Temecula, Calif.

Dan Fox of Baseball Prospectus recently wrote a column about a fielding computation system that ranked outfielders based on all-around defensive play, not just throwing arm, but also factoring in range, extra bases taken by runners, stadium variations and the like. Fox had Pierre ranked 21st and last among qualifying Major League center fielders. Andruw Jones was 10th, Aaron Rowand was 15th and Coco Crisp first. Andre Ethier was 11th among right fielders.

So what Gurnick is saying is, "yes, there is a statistic to measure defensive abilities, and yes, Pierre is dead last in the MLB at his position. Suck that, Neddie!"

Has Rich Donnelly landed anywhere? --Charles V., Las Vegas

Donnelly, the Dodgers' third-base coach the last two years, has been hired by the Pittsburgh Pirates to serve as a Minor League supervisor.

"Even the lowly Pittsburgh Pirates wouldn't dare put Donnelly in the third base coach's box."

Johan Santana, Now Available at Discount

...on fathead.com. Santana's wall cling, originally priced at $100, is now $40.

I am sad that there are no Dodgers players available.

I find it hilarious, though, that the only Giant (Barry Zito) is also half-price. And, unlike Santana, he's not rumored to be on the trading block, so it isn't just an obsolescence issue...or is it???

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Go Blue!

Two sets of blue critters are celebrating their 50th anniversary. A quick glance at the two groups:
Smurfs Dodgers
Color of choice: Blue Blue
Celebrating 50th anniversary of: Their creation Their move to Los Angeles
1965 triumph: Debut of B&W animated series in Belgium 4th World Series Title
1981 triumph: Debut of color animated series in US 5th World Series Title
1992 tragedy: Death of creator, Belgian cartoonist Peyo Worst record in baseball, 63-99
Typical unintelligible quote: "Let's go smurfing on the River Smurf!" "They have a tendency to do things you just can't believe, and turn around and do something you can't believe." - Grady Little, 8/22/07*
Female who services group: Smurfette Alyssa Milano

*thanks to Dodgerblues.com for recording this quote

When Power Pellets Go Wild, Pt. 2

Pacman accused of punching woman at strip club (ESPN.com)

UPDATE:

Atlanta woman withdraws petition to arrest 'Pacman' for alleged assault (CBSSportsLine.com)

Monday, January 14, 2008

Bud Light: False Advertising

Driving around Los Angeles this week, I spotted a Bud Light outdoor ad with the tagline: "Endless Refreshment / Superior Drinkability".

Now, I don't know how to refute "superior drinkability," given the latter term isn't even a word. Even if one defines "drinkability" as "the ability of the item to be drunk," the relative comparison gives Bud Light the excuse that it could be measured relative to some incredibly viscous substance, like tar for example.

But as for the former claim of "endless refreshment," I submit to you the following photo evidence:

"Endless" is a bit of stretch, don't you think? I think the refreshment ended precisely twenty seconds before this shot was taken. If not sooner.

Where to Eat Around Dodger Stadium: Philippe the Original

Ken Gurnick's post on mlb.com recapped minor league mini-camp, a new addition to the Dodger winter regimen. Mini-camp consists of morning workouts and afternoon "classroom sessions" given by number of different guest speakers, ranging from organization representatives like Duke Snider, celebrities like John Wooden, and Jim Hill.

"The idea," said [Asst GM for Player Development De Jon] Watson, "is to bring in guys recently promoted to the 40-man roster and the core of our younger players who might reach the Major Leagues in 2008 or 2009 and get them prepared and accustomed to the surroundings -- where to go to eat, how to get into the ballpark. It can be overwhelming and intimidating the first time. We're trying to create a comfort level and make the transition easier."

I had to chuckle when reading "how to get into the ballpark" was "overwhelming and intimidating." Longtime SoSG readers know how dissatisfied we are with the convoluted and inefficient parking lot system introduced, to widespread derision, by Frank McCourt last year. I haven't seen any news that McCourt's Labyrinth (sounds like a Guillermo Del Toro movie) will be back for 2008, but I am not at all hopeful when I hear that the organization feels the need to hold a classroom training session to teach its own players how to navigate their way to the Stadium.

But rather than get (further) sidetracked on the parking point (like many a motorist at Dodger Stadium, I might add), I'd like to opine on my favorite pre-Dodger game eating establishment: Philippe the Original. In my family it was known as "Philippe's" and on those special occasions before Dodger games (which meant, if we made it to the stadium well ahead of time), my father would stop at the corner of Ord and Alameda and take us all in to get a French Dip sandwich from the birthplace of the French Dip.

All of the French Dip sandwiches are great, but I was always partial to the pork sandwich until I read a review stating the little-known secret was the lamb sandwich with the blue cheese sprinkled on top. That one is amazing too. Philippe has a long menu of assorted sides and a surprisingly long wine list (I seem to recall a Cakebread chardonnay and a Silver Oak cabernet are on the list, which is stunning). And it must be topped off with a slice of pie.

The food was always great--now that I'm older, I'm also especially fond of the 10-cent cups of coffee--but the real magic of Philippe is the proletarian nature of the whole joint, most reflected in the crowd of its diners. There, seated in rows of long communal tables and short stools, sit Los Angeles locals of all races, socioeconomic levels, backgrounds, professions, and ages. People at each table share the horseradish mustard, as well as conversation, usually about the Dodgers. And floors are littered with a fine layer of sawdust that has probably been there for generations. In fact, replace "sawdust" with "peanut shells", and what you've got is basically the crowd and environment at Dodger Stadium. There are no boundaries or divides among Dodger fans. And it's great.

Some day, I'll come with a hammer and chisel and try and etch out my name on one of the brick walls in one of the upstairs dining rooms. Like I would ever be that early for a Dodger game, right?

P.S. As I am always on the hunt for great eats, please comment with your own pre-Dodger game suggestions...

LaRoche Only Has One Veteran With Which to Compete

Scott Rolen was traded to the Blue Jays today for Troy Glaus. There, it's done, we can stop Rolen these rumors around. I was getting Glaussy-eyed just thinking about them.

It's your job to win, Andy!

Caption Contest: You Decide

What is Josh Rawitch telling these minor leaguers?

What is Josh Rawitch telling these minor leaguers?
"never untuck your shirt untill you are inside the clubhouse"
"If you grow a mustache Jeff Kent will like you more."
"Bob Harvey is a disgrace to the dodger brass"
"Just hold your hands like this and say 'Me? I didn't do nuthin'."
"Welcome to the benchwarmers meeting."
"Jeff Kent's range is about this big"
"So I says to him, 'HEY LAMA... how 'bout a little somethin', you know, for the trouble...' "
"If you're happy and you know it clap your hands . . ."
"No kidding. Takashi Saito...THIS BIG. I've seen it myself."
"...Sure enough, he missed my head by this much. And then Brownie took a swing at me, and I sucker-punched his ass into the watercooler."
  
Free polls from Pollhost.com

photo by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers

R.I.P., Johnny Podres

Brooklyn hero Podres dies at 75 (AP/SI.com)

Friday, January 11, 2008

Caption Contest

What is Josh Rawitch telling these minor leaguers?


photo by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers

SoSG Shouts Out to China Fanbase

...though the funny thing is, it can't hear us. The things you learn when you travel...

SoSG's own Steve Sax has spent the last week in China, both in Hong Kong and Shanghai, walking around the streets with a sandwich board in an attempt to drum up more readers for Sons of Steve Garvey. And as it turns out, one is blocked from SoSG (and assumedly all blogger blogs) in Shanghai, though Hong Kong readers can access our site without restriction.

This may affect how many Hong-Chih Kuo posts we write in 2008. Xeifrank, be forwarned. It's not like we're not trying to give the people what they want.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Winter Workout Wonderland

Wes Parker, James Loney, Don Mattingly


Andy LaRoche, Matt Kemp


Stan Conte, Andruw Jones


photos by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

A Belated Look at Other Dodger Employees in the Rose Parade

As much as we celebrate them, the Dodgers aren't all Vinny and Jaime and Tommy and Loney and Penny and Garvey. Thirteen longtime Dodger employees were selected to walk alongside the Dodger float in this year's Rose Parade:

name position years of service
Ray Alvarado usher captain 11
Cheryl Collins guest relations 7
Diana Darr usher captain 16
Earl Davidson usher captain 15
Eddie Gonzalez assistant manager 44!
Raul Gutierrez security and assistant manager 9
Sara Guzman usher captain 13
Anthony Lopez usher captain 29
Richard Montano security lead 26
Raul Rodriguez assistant manager 19
Jim Terminal usher captain 19
Al Garcia security 2
John Northcott security 2

Two lucky employees won the chance to ride on the float: Danny Telford, an electrician with 10 years of service, and Kevin Waters, a stadium utility worker with 25 years of service.

Congrats to all employees! So...did you get paid?

UPDATE:

Check out Xeifrank's parade photos. Ernest at Blue Heaven has also scoured the internet for parade pictures.

photo by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers

"But in my heart, I'm a DODGERS FAN"

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Chick Fight Could Cost Dodgers

From "Dodger fan seeks $1 million over parking lot punch" (reg.) at the LA Times:

Weeks before spring training, the Los Angeles Dodgers got an early workout this morning as jurors heard a woman claim she lost partial vision after an abusive, foul-mouthed fan hit her after a Sunday afternoon game against archrival San Francisco.

The central issue in the Los Angeles County Superior Court lawsuit is whether the Dodgers provided enough security at the ballpark in Chavez Ravine. Marta Parra Helenius, a 31-year-old nurse, claims the team didn't follow its own rules on how to handle unruly fans, leading to the assault and making her legally blind in one eye.

Helenius was punched in the parking lot after the San Francisco Giants pulled out a dramatic, ninth-inning victory on July 17, 2005, before 47,000 spectators. Denise Ordaz was charged with hitting Helenius, pleaded no contest and was sentenced to 270 days in jail last year.

Fans have been killed at Dodger Stadium and this piece of foxy boxing causes a lawsuit? We eagerly await the final decision.

UPDATE:

Rob at 6-4-2 brings some perspective:

At first I thought this was just another silly lawsuit, but it looks like the woman involved has suffered serious physical injury. Since the assault seems to have taken place on the Dodger Stadium grounds, there's at least a whiff of culpability, though honestly it's not clear what Dodgers security could have done differently.

My reaction is to avoid going to Giants games altogether. It seems to draw the worst kind of morons into the stadium.

UPDATE:

Dodgers cleared in stadium assault (LA Times (reg.)) (hat tip: 6-4-2)

James Loney Is Everywhere

James Loney is everywhere! In addition to riding on the Dodgers' Rose Parade Float, he's been a man about town. From Inside the Dodgers:

James Loney visited Mattel Children's Hospital and spent some time with the young patients there. He was in town for the Rose Parade and asked if he could go back to the hospital again, having visited it earlier this year, so it's great to see our young players getting involved in the community on their own.

He asked if he could go back to the hospital. He asked!

From the LA Times (reg.):

Dodgers first baseman James Loney attended practice and played a game of H-O-R-S-E with Sam Cassell.

Predictably, the basketball player trumped the baseball player.

"If he is out here shooting jumpers with you, then you have to try and hit a curveball with him," quipped Neil Olshey, the Clippers' director of player personnel.

James also attended Thursday's Lakers game. From Roman's Empire:

The most ridiculous moment of the night came when James Loney did an in game interview with Joel Myers and Stu Lantz. Either Loney is really, really soft spoken, or he was high as a kite. He must have said a total of 15 words in like 10 questions. The highlight was of course when he was asked to describe th adjustment between Houston (his hometown) and LA.

"Out here people try to get their hustle on," he said.

We hope James is more soft-spoken and less busy getting his hustle on. Glad to see he's got the Hollywood thing down by being seen all over town. Let's just hope he doesn't start spending time with Dr. Phil.

photo by Juan Ocampo/Dodgers

Sunday, January 06, 2008

SoSG Presents: Better Know a Blogger

In the dead of winter, there's not much baseball to talk about. So we turn our gaze upon ourselves. Longtime readers of SoSG—hi Mom!—may recognize the individual styles of my esteemed colleagues, but for those who don't, here's a SoSG primer:


STEVE SAX: Saxy is prolific and thoughtful, and a bit more fond of puns and puzzles than most. He's unafraid to be critical, but he's also probably the most die-hard Dodger fan of the Sons. After all, who else would have the connections to admit James Loney into the Free James Loney Society?



OREL: Me! I bring the random to our "random rantings and ravings." For Better or For Worse, Sammy Davis Jr., boot-shaped beer stein...nothing is too random. Shirt! I'm also proud to have helped bring Dodger fans pictures of rookie hazing (as well as of barely-SFW truly fine babes).



ERIC KARROS: EK doesn't post lightly. While Saxy and I are plastering the refrigerator with crayon drawings, EK is finishing the lava-spewing volcano model that will win first place at the science fair. Witness the inaugural Abes vs Babes campaign, EK's latest custom video and the sexiest graph you'll see.



DELINO DESHIELDS: The Delino blogs fearlessly where other Sons don't tread. Where else can you find so much Hebraic goodness commingled with classy entertainment the likes of Gymkata, Norman Fell and Zardoz? The Delino is also a Simpsons fan, which increases his virility.



LASORDA: SoSG's resident sabermetrician, Lasorda can be counted on for some good ol' number crunching. Lasorda is a busy fellow, but when he checks in you can also expect something insightful and amusing.




PEDRO GUERRERO: Pete is a man of few words—words such as DOMINICANO!, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! and Boring—but those words get your attention (comment #23). Also a rabid and knowledgeable Lakers fan, Pete has a love/hate relationship with Kobe Bryant (currently in loving mode, I'm guessing).



ALEX CORA: The most elusive Son! A post from AC is quite an event, but during the season he's quite active in the comments sections, especially in Game Threads. Some of our best humor can be found in AC's comments.




The Sons of Steve Garvey: a Mötley Crüe united by love for the Blue. Here's to a fun 2008!