Further leveraging his life insurance policyholder fund financials, Mark Walter has agreed to purchase the majority stake in the Milwaukee Brewers from Mark Attanasio.
"This was the master plan all along when I sold the Lakers earlier this year," said Walter. "Knowing that the Dodgers could benefit from some young, relentless hitters in the lineup, we expect to be able to rotate some of those players from Los Angeles out to Wisconsin--especially those who can't play defense effectively, either."
Walter did not mention any Dodgers players by name, but his comments did seem to reference Teoscar Hernandez, as well as possibly Kyle Tucker.
"After this year's NLCS defeat," said Dodgers President of Baseball Andrew Friedman, "we were having the debate with the front office team on whether the lesson of this series was that small ball trumps slug. And then I realized that we're the Dodgers! Why should we have to choose?"
"I marched straight into Mark's office, and gave him the pitch," continued Friedman. "Five minutes later, as soon as that Uniqlo royalty check cleared, we called the Brewers and finished the deal."
Walter was beaming with pride as he announced the news to the press today. "This seemed like the fastest and most efficient way to upgrade the Dodgers squad," said Walter, "and also provides us flexibility through the course of upcoming seasons...whenever those might occur."
"Plus, I look good in blue."
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