Monday, April 27, 2015

Dodgers Clobber Padres to Win Baseball World Heavyweight Championship


Current Champion: The Los Angeles Dodgers

With an 11-8 slobberknocker victory on Saturday night, the Dodgers have upended the Padres to capture their first Baseball World Heavyweight Championship! The Dodgers broke out the bats against the Padres like Sting against the NWO.


Here's a refresher course on the BWHC, for those of you who tuned in late:
The BWHC imagines the World Series Championship as a pro wrestling belt defended in regular season series. The defending World Series champions start the season with the belt. From there:

1. A team must win a series from the champion to take the belt. One game isn't going to cut it, considering it's a 162-game season and teams all view the season in terms of series.

2. If the belt-holder splits a series (two- or four-game series), it retains. Much like on a draw in boxing or a count-out situation in pro wrestling, you don't get the belt unless you actually beat the champion. A tie isn't good enough.

3. If, at the end of the regular season, the belt-holder does not make the playoffs -- and due to the dynamics of this thing, that scenario is entirely plausible -- said team will be stripped of the title for not qualifying for the postseason. Then the winner of the playoffs -- the World Series -- takes the belt and the title into the offseason.

4. Rainout Provision: If a game is rained out and rescheduled for later in the season (not a doubleheader in the same series), the series will be considered shortened to the number of actual scheduled games played. For example, if one game of a four-game series is rained out, that series becomes a three-game series for the purposes of tracking the championship. Furthermore, if one of the two teams is champion if/when the makeup game is played, that single game will be for the championship.
The Dodgers are the third BWHC belt-holders in 2015, following the Giants and the Padres. Here's the 2015 title history to date:

Now that the Dodgers' long (imaginary) championship drought is over, they can't get complacent. They must immediately defend the gold against the former champion Giants, beginning tonight at Dodger Stadium. The hunters have become the hunted, but the Giants will have to get through this man if they want to be two-time champs...

5 comments:

spnk said...

you can watch the Dodgers defend their BWHC title against the Gnats on Time Warner Cable.

Hideo Nomo said...

Give in.
Switch now.
You have no alternative.
Resistance is futile.

spnk said...

the rebel alliance will not break the empire's stronghold. give in to the dark side for you have been fucked in the ears.

Dusty Baker said...

I would give in to the dark side in a hot second if I ACTUALLY HAD THAT CHOICE TO MAKE AS A CONSUMER.

(feels the hate)

D-Lyin' said...

Where's the ref?