Saturday, October 12, 2013

NLCS Game 2 Thread: Oct. 12 @ Cards, 1p

"Help us, Clayton Kershaw, you're our only hope."

"Seriously, dude, we're in a total jam here."

"WHAT WAS DONNIE THINKING? All right, all right, calm down. It's not his fault we were 1 for 10 with RISP. Beer me, Artoo."

Clayton Kershaw (0-0, 0.00) vs. Michael Wacha (0-0, 0.00).

While not technically an elimination game, for us panicky Dodger fans today's game is a real okole squeezer. But if anyone's going to lead us through this mess, it's Matt Kemp Clayton Kershaw, who can probably earn an extra $100 million on his contract by winning today ($200 million if he hits the go-ahead homer like on opening day).

Maybe a day game following a night game is the best way to clear our palates, so prepare for the jump to lightspeed, never tell me the odds, and always let the Wookiee win!

Dodgers tickets

334 comments:

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Dusty Baker said...

Crawford 7
MEllis 4
Ramirez 6
Gonzalez 3
Puig 9
Uribe 5
Schumaker 8
AJEllis 2
Kershaw 1

Dusty Baker said...

Gotta start hitting.

Dusty Baker said...

Let the Wookie win, but not the Wacha!

Dusty Baker said...

Waka, waka!

Dusty Baker said...

Donnie: HanRam a little iffy and may be scratched. #Robs

I want Kersh to stick Beltran in the fucking robs so bad the ball comes out the other side, bloodied.

Paul said...

So Whacha Whacha Whacha want?!?

Paul said...

Get a painkiller Hanley! It's the playoffs!!

Dusty Baker said...

Morning Beasties!!! Love it.

Dusty Baker said...

Exactly, Paul. HanRam should take some of whatever drugs Puig was on last night, but try to have a more controlled buzz. Orange juice could help.

Fred's Brim said...

gotta keep pitching

spank said...

Gotta start drinking. I'm superstitious like a mofo during playoffs for my teams. During the NLDS on games I did not booze while i watched (1,3,4) Dodgers won and games I boozed (2) Dodgers lost.

So i continued the winning formula for 13 innings last night but the dodgers were on a mission to lose.

today i'm going flip it and booze it up during the game. Hopefully that does the trick and if it don't and the Dodgers lose well at least i'll be drunk unlike last night when i went out back and soberly destroyed shit after the loss.

good times.

Orel said...

There we go.

spank said...

FUCK THE CARDS!

Two Daft Yanks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fred's Brim said...

mega-annoying "best fans in baseball" at the bar last night. we kept generally quiet but they were barking and chirping all night. One guy kept coming over and subtly testing me on my fandom, to see if I was a real fan. He did end up buying us shots though

Fred's Brim said...

what made me the maddest about last night was that we would get guys to third with less than 2 outs and couldn't get them home, even with a measly sac fly or groundout. We gotta execute better

spank said...

For today's game Neeebs will be at the Night Ranger show in Del Mar.

Dusty Baker said...

Checking in from my local cantina, Vinny! #SoSGFestIIILocation #Cadillacs

Orel said...

Nice one, Spank!

Dusty Baker said...

I thought Poison was tonight, Night Ranger on Sunday.

Dusty Baker said...

Preach it, Spank! Lead the way.

Dusty Baker said...

Spanky is my brother from Neeebs' mother.

BJ Killeen said...

Okay, deep breaths everyone. We WILL win today. That's a statement, not a prediction.

Orel said...

BJK with the confidence booster.

Paul said...

This team has heart. They will comeback. Need A Gon to find his swing.

Orel said...

While playing.

Dusty Baker said...

Orale, Orel! Well played.

Dusty Baker said...

Calling all Stubbs/Karinas! Where the fuck are you guys?

Dusty Baker said...

I agree with and appreciate BJ's optimism.

On the other hand, it seems cruel that for all our success this season, we could be looking at an 0-2 hole within a 24-hour period here in the NLCS.

(cries)


(drinks)

(complains)

Fred's Brim said...

getting nervous and antsy

Fred's Brim said...

not to pile on, but "we could be looking at an 0-2 hole within a 24-hour period here in the NLCS" and then have to face Wainwright in game three with Ryu or Ricky

Fred's Brim said...

fuck that - i just hope we win today

Orel said...

Thanks, Dust. My cynicism is hampering my ability to enjoy the playoffs.

Fred's Brim said...

My cynicism is hampering my ability to enjoy life

Fred's Brim said...

OK time to get some drinking supplies

Neeebs (The Original) said...

Dokken tonight. I'mmmm Breaking the Chains.

Neeebs (The Original) said...

Flaming Menudos accoustic tomorrow. I'm breaking out the accordian.

Orel said...

Hanley scratched.

BJ Killeen said...

Hanley's out. I'm over being nice. Hit Butttran in the face now.

Orel said...

Curious to see if Clayton's gonna plunk any Cards today.

Paul said...

Just had my best run this year. Nerves man.

Bring it Dodgers!

Paul said...

Just realized the two Dodger wins at home I had my dad's jersey on, right shoulder only. Fuck need to rush home.

Wicks said...

I'm not filled with confidence with no HanRam even with Kershaw pitching.

BJ Killeen said...

Still confident. Just added pissed to the mix. Donnie better do right today.

spank said...

killKillKILL

Steve Sax said...

Putting on my unwashed mojo shirt from NLDS Games 3 and 4. Work it, Dodgers!

Dusty Baker said...

LF Crawford
2B Ellis
1B Gonzalez
RF Puig C
3B Uribe
CF Schumaker
C Ellis
SS Punto
P Kershaw

QuadSevens said...

Fuck Beltran! Lets go Dodgers! (Boozes)

Dusty Baker said...

Good mojo audible, Sax.

Dusty Baker said...

@Neeebs

Never unchaaaaaain the night.

BJ Killeen said...

ED ads already?

QuadSevens said...

This ump blows too!

BJ Killeen said...

Drinking red bull???

Orel said...

Fat strike zone today. Hope Kershaw gets those calls.

QuadSevens said...

Find your feet MEllis!

Fred's Brim said...

redbull and vodkas for Mr and Mrs FB

Dusty Baker said...

Strike zone wider than my ass today.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Fuck St. Louis. Fuck that watered-down piss you call beer. Fuck Georgia Fontiere. Fuck Tony LaRussa. Fuck the best fans in baseball*. Fuck Eero Saarinen. And in conclusion...hey fuck yo momma!

Fred's Brim said...

AG's off

Cliff Beefpile said...

hateHateHATE!

Fred's Brim said...

here comes the low and away changeup

Orel said...

Puig has been laying off the fattest fastballs.

Fred's Brim said...

sigh

Cliff Beefpile said...

Good call not starting Hanley, Donnie. Not like we're fighting for our fucking lives or anything here. This isn't game fucking 132 against the Cubs, this is the playoffs. Godfuckingdammit I'm pissed.

BJ Killeen said...

I like Cliff B.

Cliff Beefpile said...

And fuck this Wacky kid, too.

karen said...

Joe Kelly takes HanRam out of todays game. I'm not going to be happy until I see some red bird blood. Preferably Beltran blood.

Fred's Brim said...

sheezus

spank said...

fucking hell

Fred's Brim said...

you know there's no way the fundamentally sound Cards don't get him home from third

BJ Killeen said...

What the fuck did that piece of shit announcer say?

Paul said...

This sucks. Come on Kershaw buckle down.

Orel said...

Leadoff triple? Shit.

Paul said...

One more Kersahw!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Sit down, Holliday!

spank said...

Stick a sock in it,Cal.

karen said...

It's the first inning and already my stomach is sick.

Fred's Brim said...

gotta keep wriggling off hooks!

Cliff Beefpile said...

And fuck your leadoff triple, bitches!

Paul said...

That wasn't Cardinal Baseball

BJ Killeen said...

Thanks pretty little pony!

karen said...

@Paul...It was Kershaw baseball.

BJ Killeen said...

EVERYBODY HITS NOW

Fred's Brim said...

damn you, Kelly

Steve Sax said...

Fuck yeah, Kershaw!

BJ Killeen said...

Fucking dork in your stupid ass clothes.

spank said...

Pretty soon it'll be Donnie baseball.



(cries)

Dusty Baker said...

Of course the guy who went 0-6 last night is batting cleanup.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Surprised that ball in the dirt wasn't a strike. It's like this ump has fish eye lenses

BJ Killeen said...

Camera is shit. Fix the lighting

Wicks said...

Shit Hanley probably out rest of series.

Orel said...

Hanley has left the park to get x-rays. So...cracked rib?

Paul said...

So he is out for the season.

Dusty Baker said...

Looks like Hanley could be done. Off for X-rays.

YOUSUCKMYASSHOLECARDS

Orel said...

No Kemp. Limited Ethier. Now no Hanley. How come Kelly isn't getting more shit?

Fred's Brim said...

turning back the clock to May

BJ Killeen said...

Hanley going for X-rays. I hate STL even more

karen said...

Dodgers really need to lay on a big hurt on Beltran. Knock his fucking ass out of the series.

fuckFuckFUCK

Dusty Baker said...

@Orel

Bc Kelly didn't do it on purpose.

Nonetheless, I still want some of their guys fucking stuck in the robs.

karen said...

I'm thinking back To Gibson in '88. He had only the one at bat.

Dusty Baker said...

Absolutely no energy in this Dodger side as they have the field. Think they know they're stymied?

Dusty Baker said...

@Karen

Who will be our Gibson off the bench?

Paul said...

A Gon needs to wake up. Puig too of we are screwed.

Fred's Brim said...

great inning, Clayton

karen said...

Dusty...He's not off the bench, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm thinking maybe Uribe is going to be our hero.

*Don't laugh at me*

Orel said...

It's not like we made it to the World Series and just need a momentum changer for a few more games. It's only the NLCS and Hanley's out and Puig's slumping. So, fuck.

spank said...

Don't know if Frank Thomas swings that way but if he does lay him on Beltran.

Dusty Baker said...

I'd never laugh at you Karen!

spank said...

Get a hit you little runt.

Paul said...

Punto is garbage.

Fred's Brim said...

Punto not happy

karen said...

I'm hoping HanRam just needs some duct tape and spit.

Paul said...

Come on Crawford. We need a hit.

Fred's Brim said...

Puig looking like we're down 10-0

Paul said...

This feels like a 1-0 game that we lose.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Puig, you're supposed to be our lightning rod--stop looking like a child who didn't get what he wanted for Christmas.

spank said...

Feeble

Fred's Brim said...

keep grinding, fellas

Cliff Beefpile said...

Last night felt like a game we were going to win all night long and that didn't end well. This one just feels like we're gonna lose and we have Kershaw on the mound. How did we get here? Oh right, Mattingly still has a job.

Paul said...

Eh if Puig was smiling people would say he doesn't care.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Shadows, everyone. Shadows.

Cliff Beefpile said...

That was a strike an inning ago, asshole! If you're gonna have a shit strike zone at least be consistent.

Paul said...

Funny thing is we know that having the best pitcher on the mound does mean a win if your offense sucks. We saw it over and over again this year. I'm hoping we get a break here soon.

Fred's Brim said...

great inning, kid!

karen said...

I'm going with Paul's way of thinking. We CAN win this. Kid K on the mound and minimal offense and we get the W.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Hit it to Holliday!

Fred's Brim said...

Sí, se puede

Cliff Beefpile said...

Puig isn't swinging at any of the fastballs. At least not the ones in the middle of the plate.

spank said...

that's a wrap for Puig.

Fred's Brim said...

half a McDonalds arch

Wicks said...

Puig is thinking too much...let the wild horse be FREE!

Fred's Brim said...

Puig is baiting them

Fred's Brim said...

call that you chicken!

Fred's Brim said...

crap

Fred's Brim said...

UJTD!

QuadSevens said...

Nice turn!

Fred's Brim said...

cmon, kid, find it

Fred's Brim said...

wow - nice stop, Uribe

Fred's Brim said...

good job, kid

Cliff Beefpile said...

Nice DP and a nice stop by Uribe.

Dusty Baker said...

Have to step out of this one. Our cat just had a seizure so we're having to rush off to vet. Come on, baseball and pet gods, cut me a break!

Fred's Brim said...

You watch the ED commercials differently when you know every guy in them has a boner at that moment.
Especially the guy who was just presented with a giant plate of nachos

Fred's Brim said...

Good luck, Dusty! Hope everything works out!

Orel said...

A.J.!!!

Fred's Brim said...

attaboy, AJ!
howabout a little 2-out lightning!

Orel said...

Oh man, Dusty, sorry to hear that. Hope everything's OK.

Fred's Brim said...

cmon Nick, harness the power of DeVito!

QuadSevens said...

Lets raise that RISP avg Punto!

karen said...

Dusty...Keep us updated on your kitty. You know how I am about the critters. Lots of thoughts and love coming your way.

Paul said...

Right down the middle.

Fred's Brim said...

Punto was praying for the walk

Fred's Brim said...

so was I actually

Paul said...

Kershaw is going to have to hit a homerun.

Paul said...

This Wacha kid really has stepped up. Fuck why can't we get that? Instead we have nervous Ryu.

Fred's Brim said...

fudge

Fred's Brim said...

what the hell, AJ

Cliff Beefpile said...

Ellis is gonna have to work on the passed ball thing before next season.

Fred's Brim said...

that is unacceptable

spank said...

I should have gone to see Duran Duran with Neeebs.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Sorry to hear it, Dusty, that really sucks. Best of luck to you and lady Dustys. And the kitty, of course.

Cliff Beefpile said...

I hear Poison is coming to town, maybe Neeebs can get us tickets.

Fred's Brim said...

or Roberto Roberto, the cover band

Steve Sax said...

Win one for Dusty's cat!

Fred's Brim said...

squeezy

spank said...

damn

Wicks said...

I' not sure if we will score today.

Fred's Brim said...

fuck I knew Carl can't throw but fuck

Fred's Brim said...

goddammit ump

Orel said...

Cardinals score a run. Game over.

Fred's Brim said...

goddamn passed ball

Fred's Brim said...

grindtime

Paul said...

We need a break. An error, a lucky hit. Something!

Orel said...

This is miserable. Should I be enjoying this? Just checking.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Ellis needs to make up for that, should still be 0-0.

Paul said...

Nice Kershaw!

Fred's Brim said...

that's a start

Paul said...

We got a break!!!

spank said...

LOLZ

Fred's Brim said...

there's the break, Paully!

Paul said...

Have to score!!!

Paul said...

Shit!!!! Ellis

spank said...

unclutch

Cliff Beefpile said...

What a dumbass play by Carpenter. He wasn't gonna get him at second anyways.

Paul said...

Focus boys.

Fred's Brim said...

not scoring here is unacceptable

Wicks said...

Well crap

Paul said...

You can do this Puig.

QuadSevens said...

Rancho ardiendo for the Wild Horse.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Please channel that frustration into a hit. Please.

Orel said...

come on come on come on

QuadSevens said...

Great time for Puig to break out of this slump.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Gather yourself, kid. Come on.

Paul said...

Focus kid.

Paul said...

Fuck you ump!!

spank said...

that was a fucking ball you blind motherfucker

Wicks said...

go home ump you're drunk

Paul said...

Atta babe. Don't fall for that shit.

spank said...

*faints*

Paul said...

Get your shit together Cardinals.

spank said...

fuck

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