Clayton Kershaw (0-0, 2.35) vs. Kyle Weiland (0-2, 8.44).
Since another Son already used the Stone Temple Pilots idea to mock the opposing starter, let's instead focus on Kershaw, who is without a win this year despite three starts and 15.1 IP, with 13 Ks, 4 BB, and 4 ER to show for it. I'm hoping that Matt Kemp keeps up his torrid pace of beating opposing pitchers to a pulp (at Minute Maid Park, no less), and we come away with an Astrosmash. Wait, that idea was used as well? Dammit!