Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Behold The Awesome Power Of Google

So you all use google for internet searching stuff (not to mention the infrastructure supporting this very site), right? You fools. This Louisiana music teacher figured out how to harness the power of google to win $1M involving a sport that he didn't even follow: baseball.

The year in baseball is winding toward its thrilling close, and when all is said and written about 2011, one of the most amazing stories will have been about a music teacher.

He knew nothing about the game, unless you consider this: "I knew a home run was a point."

Brian Kingrey of Hammond, La., bought a copy of the MLB2K11 video game from 2K Sports when it came out last spring, and he played it like a music madman around the clock. His mission was to learn about baseball and to be the first to throw a perfect game and win $1 million.

"I have never, ever, ever heard him say the word 'baseball' before," one of his students said.

"He's just a music teacher," said another. "Mr. Kingrey."

Just a music teacher? Didn't all of you whippersnappers see Shine (I didn't, but that didn't stop me from mocking the shit out of that outstretched-arms Geoffrey Rush pose back in the mid-90's)?

But wait, here's the best part: the GOOGLING.

Kingrey had two weeks to learn and practice playing. He used Google to do research and learn all about baseball and statistics. Through his research, he discovered that his best chance of winning would be with Phillies ace Roy Halladay, who had thrown a real perfect game a year earlier.

And that, my friends, is crack google research. Way to use the internet to discover something that the majority of America already knows! What sleuthing! I'm sure the google guys are so proud, they'll commemorate this moment a decade from now with one of those title-page logo cartoony things!

The article continues:

Ironically, Kingrey used Halladay to beat the Astros, the Major League Baseball team closest to him geographically. He became a Phillies fan as a result.

Oh sure, I'm sure the choice of the Astros, far and away the majors' worst team this year, was simple irony. No googling done here, nosiree!


Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

All too familiar with Google: Ned Colletti.

Nostradamus said...

I am all too familiar with beer goggles.

Josh S. said...

Beer Googles are fun too. That's trying to do Google searches while you're smashed.

Steve Sax said...

googley eyes are fun

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Sax, you've been especially bitter lately. Have you hit a roadblock with Batman: Arkham City?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Shiny McShine.