Monday, March 09, 2009

Artie Lange Hates Our DAD

For those who don't know the brilliant Artie Lange.

On the Howard Stern show, he seamlessly replaced Jackie the Jokeman, thus proving that heroin-heads are as funny as pot-heads.

He got fired off MADtv when he punched out half the people at his on-set intervention.

He's the auteur behind Beer League (the 63rd-highest grossing sports comedy EVER, right behind The Scout).

He's written a New York Times bestseller in which he lambastes Oakwood Apartments in Burbank and our own (paternity test pending) dad, STEVE GARVEY.

The next season, in '77, after falling behind some, the Yanks came on strong in September and won the division. And then they won the Pennant against George Brett and the Jerk Orioles, to get themselves in the Series again. And that time, they were playing against the Los Angeles Dodgers, another team that I could not f---ing stand. The '77 Dodgers were nothing but clean cut, California dude players - chumps like Steve Garvey. I hate him. He had a haircut like a Marine for no good reason. He was always clean shaven and well groomed. Steve Garvey and the f---ing L.A. Dodgers were the anti-Munson so I could not wait to see the Yanks kick their asses in the Series. That is how I felt, and how intensely I felt it back then at nine years old. Sure it was juvenile and the kind of reasoning that only a kid can have but please believe me when I assure you that nothing at all has changed.

I'd be more offended, but he's the same guy who once went after his assistant like he was made out of ham. (Video gets going at 0:40.)


Bluboy said...

Arte Lange is the reason I kept listening to Howard Stern, because Jackie just sucked.