Congrats, Steelers! You now have as many championships as the Dodgers!
Santonio Holmes! We have a game!
Michaels: "...jacket off...." Must...restrain...self....
I'm kind of disappointed [company name redacted] didn't have an intentionally offensive ad this year. Speaking of which: Do You Use [company name redacted]? A Couple of Cheaper and Maybe Better Alternatives (Sales and Sales Management Blog)
Madden: "If the whole ball gets out...." Must...restrain...self....
Hey, there's a game on!
[TiVo makes time irrelevant!] Pepsi, MacGruber. One for fans of SNL (or Richard Dean Anderson—who has more?). C+.
6:27 Hulu, Alec Baldwin. It's fictional Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming at GE Jack Donaghy shilling for a real online video site! How meta! C+.
6:26Taco Bell, "Just the Two of Us." Cute. C+
6:25 Vizio. Congrats, Vizio. You just made a $3 million radio commercial. D-.
6:23 Cash4Gold.com. Speaking of the recession.... F.
6:21 Coke Zero, Troy Polamalu. Is it me, or do this year's commercials seem especially violent? Seriously, it must have to do with the recession. C+.
6:17 Ladies and gentlemen, today's theme: Hit by a Bus.
6:10 Jack in the Box, hit by a bus. Um, okay? C.
6:09 Heineken, John Turturro. I understand the need to make money, Mr. Turturro, but this feels wrong. D-.
6:08 NFL, Usama Young. Too long and reenactment seems unnecessary. C-.
6:03 NBC, get some Conan. Plus half a grade for Tina Fey. B-.
6:02 Kellogg's, Frosted Flakes. Congrats, Kellogg's. You just made a $3 million PSA. C-.
6:01 Coca-Cola, insects. Is this another Pixar movie? C-.
5:58 CareerBuilder.com, "It's time." Repeat until humorous. C+.
5:57 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer. B-.
5:55 They just showed Cuba Gooding Jr. in the stands, so here's some beefcake to counterbalance the cheesecake.
5:51 Race to Witch Mountain trailer. Is this a remake? If so, I doubt the original had Stormtroopers. O The Rock, how you've followed the money. Not that I blame you. D+.
5:48 Budweiser, tried his hoof. Scottish Clydesdales, I get it! C-.
5:45 Monster.com, moose ass. Sight gag of the day. B.
5:40 Denny's, free Grand Slam. Great sound work, and I mean that. B-.
5:41 Bridgestone, galactic car theft. Clever. B-.
5:40 Coca-Cola, avatars. Cute, yet promotes anti-social behavior. Plus half a grade because I'm drinking a Coke right now! C.
5:23 NBC, LMAO syndrome. C+.
5:23 Overstock.com, Carlos Boozer. Now why is Carlos Boozer surfing the internet surrounded by children? Creeeeepy. D-.
5:22 Priceline, William Shatner. Kirk's everywhere! C+.
5:08 It's official: No Super Bowl halftime event is complete without a phallic reference.
5:05 NBC, NFL "Heroes." Kind of embarrassing. C-.
5:01 SoBe, male ballerinas. It's no Top Secret! (kinda NSFW!). D-.
4:59 Monsters vs. Aliens trailer. Independence Day for kids. D+.
4:52 Cheetos, obnoxious yakking lady. D.
4:50 NBC, Jay Leno. Now that is a sweet car. C.
4:49 Teleflora, flowers in a box. More misogyny*! And from a flower company! Romance and insults: not a fine combination. F.
*We're hypocrites, I know.
4:48 H&R Block, death & taxes. C-.
4:40 Bud Light, "Drinkability." More violence! D+.
4:39 Up trailer. I'll follow Pixar anywhere. B.
4:36 E*TRADE, more talking babies. This conceit is wearing a tad thin. D.
4:35 Hyundai, Car of the Year. Congrats on winning the award, Hyundai. Really—it's an amazing achievement. Now put some of that hard work into advertising. D.
4:24 Cars.com, precocious guy. Someone's been reading that stupid college essay too much. Good execution, though. C-.
4:23 Gatorade, G. Inspirational, yet trite. Plus half a grade for the three-point guy. G-.
4:17 Michaels: "...put a lick on Warner." Isn't that Brenda's job?
4:14 Star Trek trailer. I'm a Star Wars guy, but I'll be seeing this—my first Star Trek movie since 1979.
4:13 Budweiser, Daisy. Needs more dog. C-.
4:12 Budweiser, "Fetch." Like I said, I'm a sucker for dogs. B-.
4:11 Pedigree, exotic pets. Plus half a grade for pro-dog message. B-.
4:11 Pepsi Max, "I'm good." Yay, more gratuitous violence! C-.
4:07 Go Daddy.com, Danica Patrick. Danica, your relevance is fading. But I see that hasn't stopped you from working your delts.
4:06 Doritos, wish fulfillment. Okay, so your fondest desires involve assault, theft and lawlessness. F, but we're going to post a picture of the first victim. For archival purposes, of course.
4:05 Land of the Lost trailer. Please make more movies like Stranger Than Fiction, Will Ferrell. D.
4:03 Castrol, grease monkeys. Plus half a grade for, well, monkeys. C-.
4:03 Fast & Furious trailer. "NOS!" (EXPLOSION) C.
4:01 Bridgestone, The Potato Heads. I get it, wives are critical and talk too much! Ha ha! D-.
3:58 "This is just a screen pass to your tight end." I'll thank you to ignore my tight end, Madden.
3:52 Toyota, Venza. Whata? "Are you Venza?" No I am not. D-.
3:52 Year One trailer. Does not look funny. (But was that Thirteen from "House"? Better put up her picture just in case.) D-.
3:51 Bud Light, Conan O'Brien. Plus half a grade for Conan. C+.
3:44 Doritos, more workplace violence. Is this a theme? Marketers have determined we want to see people get beat up at work. Because they have jobs. D.
3:43 Pepsi, Bob Dylan & will.i.am. I don't mind all those things individually. Together, not so much. C-.
3:42 Heh heh, Al Michaels said referees get multiple shots.
3:40 Audi, Jason Statham. Transporter 4 already? C.
3:39 Angels & Demons trailer. C.
3:39 Bud Light, corporate violence. Should have been a CEO flying out the window. D.
3:37 Frankly, John Madden's fondness for the word "penetration" makes me uncomfortable.
3:30 Hyundai, Billy Corgan. Given how I feel about the Smashing Pumpkins, F.
3:29 F. Scott (not Larry) Fitzgerald and Kurt Warner: two things that do not go well together.
3:24 G.I. Joe trailer Dumb fun. C+.
3:22 Jennifer Hudson singing and fly-bys: two things that go well together. And hi, Sully!
3:17 Nice job on "America the Beautiful," Faith Hill. But a choir behind you makes anybody look and sound good. I'm gonna start blogging with a choir behind meBE-HIND MEEEEE!
3:16 Hello, LeBron commercial lady!
3:09 Unlike SoSG voters, the crowd seems pro-Steelers.
3:01 Is Joan Jett getting royalties from Faith Hill's version of "I Hate Myself for Loving You"?
2:42 Cute girl's monkey can't compete with Dodger Duck, AT&T!
2:38 Your human-interest stories can't melt my heart, NBC!
2:34 "I guess I was a little intimidating." —Larry Fitzgerald's dad. Dads, if you think you're "a little" something, then it means you're A LOT of that something.
2:26 p.m. Cris Collinsworth ♥ Diana Ross!
12 noon, PST Welcome to SoSG's second annual Super Bowl Ad Watch! After much soul-searching and introspection, we realized last year's edition was gratuitous and totally unnecessary. So we've decided to do it again!