Ryan Howard Just Got Paid: A Reenactment

From "Phils' Howard agrees on 3 years, $54M" at ESPN.com:

The Philadelphia Phillies and first baseman Ryan Howard agreed Sunday to a three-year, $54 million contract to avoid an arbitration hearing.

"I'm happy to have this done and to know that I'll be in Philadelphia for at least another three years," Howard said in a statement. "Both sides are happy, and now I'm just focused on getting the season started and having fun."

Howard, 29, who hit 48 home runs with 146 RBIs to lead the major leagues in both last season as the Phillies won their first World Series since 1980, was seeking $18 million for next season. The Phillies had countered with a $14 million offer.

INT. PHILLIES FRONT OFFICE - DAY

RYAN HOWARD sits across from a hard-nosed PHILLIES EXEC.

HOWARD
I want $18 million for next season.

PHILLIES EXEC
How about $14 million.

HOWARD
No.

PHILLIES EXEC
You drive a hard bargain, young man!

Ryan Howard SMILES.

PHILLIES EXEC
Okay, how about $54 million for
three years. And that's our final offer.

HOWARD
That's three times what I'm asking for.

The Phillies exec coolly blows cigar smoke across the desk.

PHILLIES EXEC
Take it or leave it.

HOWARD
Deal.

PHILLIES EXEC
Woo hoo! In your face!

Ryan Howard SMILES.