Sunday, February 01, 2009

Super Bowl XLIII Ad Watch

"Hi guys, remember me? I'm the Bridgestone screaming squirrel from last year's Super Bowl Ad Watch! AAAAARGH!"

Who do you want to win the Super Bowl?
Shhh! Commercial break!
Free polls from

Congrats, Steelers! You now have as many championships as the Dodgers!

Santonio Holmes! We have a game!

Michaels: "...jacket off...." Must...restrain...self....

I'm kind of disappointed [company name redacted] didn't have an intentionally offensive ad this year. Speaking of which: Do You Use [company name redacted]? A Couple of Cheaper and Maybe Better Alternatives (Sales and Sales Management Blog)

Madden: "If the whole ball gets out...." Must...restrain...self....

Hey, there's a game on!

[TiVo makes time irrelevant!] Pepsi, MacGruber. One for fans of SNL (or Richard Dean Anderson—who has more?). C+.

6:27 Hulu, Alec Baldwin. It's fictional Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming at GE Jack Donaghy shilling for a real online video site! How meta! C+.

6:26Taco Bell, "Just the Two of Us." Cute. C+

6:25 Vizio. Congrats, Vizio. You just made a $3 million radio commercial. D-.

6:23 Speaking of the recession.... F.

6:21 Coke Zero, Troy Polamalu. Is it me, or do this year's commercials seem especially violent? Seriously, it must have to do with the recession. C+.

Today's Doritos spot.

Today's Jack in the Box spot.

6:17 Ladies and gentlemen, today's theme: Hit by a Bus.

6:10 Jack in the Box, hit by a bus. Um, okay? C.

6:09 Heineken, John Turturro. I understand the need to make money, Mr. Turturro, but this feels wrong. D-.

6:08 NFL, Usama Young. Too long and reenactment seems unnecessary. C-.

6:03 NBC, get some Conan. Plus half a grade for Tina Fey. B-.

6:02 Kellogg's, Frosted Flakes. Congrats, Kellogg's. You just made a $3 million PSA. C-.

6:01 Coca-Cola, insects. Is this another Pixar movie? C-.

5:58, "It's time." Repeat until humorous. C+.

5:57 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen trailer. B-.

5:55 They just showed Cuba Gooding Jr. in the stands, so here's some beefcake to counterbalance the cheesecake.

5:51 Race to Witch Mountain trailer. Is this a remake? If so, I doubt the original had Stormtroopers. O The Rock, how you've followed the money. Not that I blame you. D+.

5:48 Budweiser, tried his hoof. Scottish Clydesdales, I get it! C-.

5:45, moose ass. Sight gag of the day. B.

5:40 Denny's, free Grand Slam. Great sound work, and I mean that. B-.

5:41 Bridgestone, galactic car theft. Clever. B-.

5:40 Coca-Cola, avatars. Cute, yet promotes anti-social behavior. Plus half a grade because I'm drinking a Coke right now! C.

5:23 NBC, LMAO syndrome. C+.

5:23, Carlos Boozer. Now why is Carlos Boozer surfing the internet surrounded by children? Creeeeepy. D-.

5:22 Priceline, William Shatner. Kirk's everywhere! C+.

Prince, 2007.

Tom Petty, 2008.

Bruce Springsteen, 2009.

5:08 It's official: No Super Bowl halftime event is complete without a phallic reference.

5:05 NBC, NFL "Heroes." Kind of embarrassing. C-.

5:01 SoBe, male ballerinas. It's no Top Secret! (kinda NSFW!). D-.

4:59 Monsters vs. Aliens trailer. Independence Day for kids. D+.

4:52 Cheetos, obnoxious yakking lady. D.

4:50 NBC, Jay Leno. Now that is a sweet car. C.

4:49 Teleflora, flowers in a box. More misogyny*! And from a flower company! Romance and insults: not a fine combination. F.
*We're hypocrites, I know.

4:48 H&R Block, death & taxes. C-.

4:40 Bud Light, "Drinkability." More violence! D+.

4:39 Up trailer. I'll follow Pixar anywhere. B.

4:36 E*TRADE, more talking babies. This conceit is wearing a tad thin. D.

4:35 Hyundai, Car of the Year. Congrats on winning the award, Hyundai. Really—it's an amazing achievement. Now put some of that hard work into advertising. D.

4:24, precocious guy. Someone's been reading that stupid college essay too much. Good execution, though. C-.

4:23 Gatorade, G. Inspirational, yet trite. Plus half a grade for the three-point guy. G-.

4:17 Michaels: "...put a lick on Warner." Isn't that Brenda's job?

4:14 Star Trek trailer. I'm a Star Wars guy, but I'll be seeing this—my first Star Trek movie since 1979.

4:13 Budweiser, Daisy. Needs more dog. C-.

4:12 Budweiser, "Fetch." Like I said, I'm a sucker for dogs. B-.

4:11 Pedigree, exotic pets. Plus half a grade for pro-dog message. B-.

4:11 Pepsi Max, "I'm good." Yay, more gratuitous violence! C-.

4:07 Go, Danica Patrick. Danica, your relevance is fading. But I see that hasn't stopped you from working your delts.

4:06 Doritos, wish fulfillment. Okay, so your fondest desires involve assault, theft and lawlessness. F, but we're going to post a picture of the first victim. For archival purposes, of course.

4:05 Land of the Lost trailer. Please make more movies like Stranger Than Fiction, Will Ferrell. D.

4:03 Castrol, grease monkeys. Plus half a grade for, well, monkeys. C-.

4:03 Fast & Furious trailer. "NOS!" (EXPLOSION) C.

4:01 Bridgestone, The Potato Heads. I get it, wives are critical and talk too much! Ha ha! D-.

3:58 "This is just a screen pass to your tight end." I'll thank you to ignore my tight end, Madden.

3:52 Toyota, Venza. Whata? "Are you Venza?" No I am not. D-.

3:52 Year One trailer. Does not look funny. (But was that Thirteen from "House"? Better put up her picture just in case.) D-.

3:51 Bud Light, Conan O'Brien. Plus half a grade for Conan. C+.

3:44 Doritos, more workplace violence. Is this a theme? Marketers have determined we want to see people get beat up at work. Because they have jobs. D.

3:43 Pepsi, Bob Dylan & I don't mind all those things individually. Together, not so much. C-.

3:42 Heh heh, Al Michaels said referees get multiple shots.

3:40 Audi, Jason Statham. Transporter 4 already? C.

3:39 Angels & Demons trailer. C.

3:39 Bud Light, corporate violence. Should have been a CEO flying out the window. D.

3:37 Frankly, John Madden's fondness for the word "penetration" makes me uncomfortable.

3:30 Hyundai, Billy Corgan. Given how I feel about the Smashing Pumpkins, F.

3:29 F. Scott (not Larry) Fitzgerald and Kurt Warner: two things that do not go well together.

3:24 G.I. Joe trailer Dumb fun. C+.

3:22 Jennifer Hudson singing and fly-bys: two things that go well together. And hi, Sully!

3:17 Nice job on "America the Beautiful," Faith Hill. But a choir behind you makes anybody look and sound good. I'm gonna start blogging with a choir behind meBE-HIND MEEEEE!

3:16 Hello, LeBron commercial lady!

3:09 Unlike SoSG voters, the crowd seems pro-Steelers.

3:01 Is Joan Jett getting royalties from Faith Hill's version of "I Hate Myself for Loving You"?

2:42 Cute girl's monkey can't compete with Dodger Duck, AT&T!

2:38 Your human-interest stories can't melt my heart, NBC!

2:34 "I guess I was a little intimidating." —Larry Fitzgerald's dad. Dads, if you think you're "a little" something, then it means you're A LOT of that something.

2:26 p.m. Cris Collinsworth ♥ Diana Ross!

12 noon, PST Welcome to SoSG's second annual Super Bowl Ad Watch! After much soul-searching and introspection, we realized last year's edition was gratuitous and totally unnecessary. So we've decided to do it again!


Steve Sax said...

GI Joe looks wholly LAME.

Rob said...

The GoDaddy ad was horrifying. Really, I can't believe they let it through.

Rob said...

BTW, re: Race To Witch Mountain -- seriously, who makes a remake of two of the most godawful Disney movies that, when they were made, were Exhibits A and B that post-Walt, the Disney organization had totally, utterly, and completely lost its way creatively? This is like putting up a billboard over the Glendale campus that screams, "No good ideas in here, nope, not at all."

Rob said...

And -- did anyone tell and that (a) it's 2009, and (b) the market has totally collapsed and nobody is even remotely thinking of risking their employment status?

It's been a long time since I can remember so many Superbowl ads that just plain missed the tenor of the times (2002 and 2003 maybe, from the few remaining idiot dot-com's that still had too much money to burn, maybe).

Rob said...

And by the way, I agreed with 110% of your grades (John Madden needs to be hermetically sealed in a vault deep beneath the Rocky Mountains and never brought out, unless it's to save the earth and even then I'm not sure). I think I would have given the Tina Fey thing a whole grade up (dayam, she is HAWT).

Steve Sax said...

Rob, you and Orel are going to have to get together next year and do the Super Bowl Ad Watch in sync.

I can see the headlines now: "Race Away From Race To Witch Mountain"

Eric Karros said...

Great summary Orel. I see you gave nothing higher than a 'B'. Of the commercials I saw, I agree. They seemed like just normal commercials to me, not unlike last year's. I'm starting to wonder if Superbowl commercials are still worthy of the level of expectation/anticipation they seem to generate. Especially when Adriana Lima is not involved.

The careerbuilder ad is one I saw, and Rob I agree. Ok maybe they bought the slot before the worst of the crisis hit, but you'd think since then they'd restrategize to target people looking for work (in an optimistic way) rather than people looking to upgrade their current job.

QuadSevens said...

The commercials definitely weren't the best part of the Super Bowl this year. The game was much more entertaining. Unless you live in Tucson. Then this was the best part of the game.

Orel said...

You know it's bad when your spokesperson uses the word "mortified."

Orel said...

Bonus Tina Fey-age!

Delino DeShields, Sr said...

I think the "real breakfast" ad with the whip cream was (as my friends in Queens would say): HI-LARIOUS. Alas, I lost some of my kids' college money on that last touchdown. Lucky, there's lots of jobs and money out there.

Anonymous said...

God Bless you Orel...

Delino DeShields, Sr said...

The most phallic thing I saw at the super bowl was that porn footage which accidentally aired in Arizona. Actually, if it's a real, you know, dong... then it's not phallic, right?