Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Game 15 Thread: April 17 vs. Padres, 7p

That's one sad kitty.

Clayton Kershaw (2-1, 1.16) vs. Tyson Ross (0-1, 4.82).

I don't know what's worse, the fact that tonight is Hello Kitty Fleece Blanket night (Charley Steiner said yesterday that it was sold out, but tickets appear to be readily available online), or the fact that the Dodgers already feel the need to distribute items for fans to use to shield their eyes from the horrors on the field.

This three-game "homestand" (more like a "home drive by") mercifully ends tonight, as Clayton Kershaw tries to keep a stiff upper lip despite suffering through three games of the Dodgers' pathetic offense. The Dodgers have scored a run in only two of the frames in the three games when he's pitched--and one of the Dodgers' "big" scoring innings was only catalyzed after Kershaw knocked his own HR, the first of his career (on opening day).

Maybe it's Kershaw who needs the fleece blanket, so he can stay warm juxtaposed with the Dodgers' ice-cold bats.

But enough worrying about how the Padres will sweep if Tyson corners us. How about something uplifting? Watch this masterpiece:

84 comments:

MR.F said...

Patton Oswalt is a genius. Using the Reality Gem to cross into the Star Wars universe is genius!

Paul said...

I find my lack of faith disturbing...

Steve Sax said...

As someone on Gawker pointed out, the Avengers use quinjets; the X-Men have the Blackbird. But close enough.

MR.F said...

And X-23 is a clone of Wolverine, but close enough!

Spank said...

Fuck you,Jobu

Hideo Nomo said...

No Kemp.

Crawford LF
M Ellis 2B
Ethier RF
Gonzalez 1B
AJ Ellis C
Schumaker CF
Punto 3B
Sellers SS
Kershaw P

Hideo Nomo said...

Kershaw should bat sixth.

Steve Sax said...

I'm kinda glad Kemp is getting a day to clear his head...

rbnlaw said...

"Is this some sort of sick joke? Really, who's trying to shit me here?"
-Clayton Kershaw upon reading the line up card.

rbnlaw said...

I may not be a buyer, but I'm no fan of Sellers either.

Steve Sax said...

Burnett loses his no-hitter with two out in the seventh.

Steve Sax said...

Snakes up 3-0 on the YankMes, B7

SF down 1-0 in Milwaukee, T4

Steve Sax said...

Utah 38, Memphis 40 at halftime

karen said...

I have loved Patton Oswalt from way ba on King of Queens.

MR.F said...

Capuano's injury is Shitlos Quenfuck's fault.

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20130417&content_id=45074436&notebook_id=45074438&vkey=notebook_la&c_id=la

Steve Sax said...

Eric Karros' hair on the pre-game show is looking awfully wavy.

Like, Tarzan style.

MR.F said...

Please win, Dodgers. This has been a shitty afternoon.

Steve Sax said...

Arizona loses 4-3.

SF and MIL tied at 3 in the sixth.

Steve Sax said...

Thanks for the tip on Capster, Mr. F. Post going up shortly.

Steve Sax said...

Re: Patton Oswalt's rant:

How awesome is it that he references Moon Knight!

Spank said...

broke out the ol' transistor so i can listen to vin for the first time this season.

Spank said...

whoops,padre telecast about 30 seconds ahead of the radio.

Spank said...

alrighty then. now the radio is ahead of the tv. what the fuck? am i stuck in a wormhole?

Steve Sax said...

Jellis up there hacking like a he's got a machete

Steve Sax said...

Ethier on second (bloop single to left), AGon on first (walk). Two out. And Jellis...

...lazy fly ball to right field. Yawn.

0-0 through one.

Steve Sax said...

Giants tied at 3 in the 8th with the Brewers.

Steve Sax said...

Punto absolutely frozen up there for out #2 in the second

Steve Sax said...

Two on, two out for Richie Weeks in the bottom of the eighth

Steve Sax said...

Sellers gets a hit! What?!?!?!?

Oh, it's two outs and Kershaw is up next. I get it.

Steve Sax said...

Sellout crowd tonight...

Steve Sax said...

Jazz lose. Lakers are in the playoffs.

Steve Sax said...

Weeks had a 3-0 count and has worked it back to a 3-2 count

Steve Sax said...

Weeks lines out to left. SF 3, MIL 3, going to the ninth.

Steve Sax said...

@Mr F 4:29p: It's comical to me that Oswalt rattles off all five gems of the infinity gauntlet like they're totally commonplace

Paul said...

What's up with Kid K's beard?

Paul said...

Fuck.

Steve Sax said...

Long hit to center field fro Tyson Ross, but it looks like he injured his shoulder on the swing (he's aching over at first). Interesting.

Steve Sax said...

If only Ross' swing could have injured Carlos Quentin as well, we'd be set here.

Paul said...

Padres pitchers have a three run homer and now a double oh no the longest single ever. .

Steve Sax said...

Clayton K to end the inning.

Spank said...

gomer pyle strikes out

Steve Sax said...

Giants get a two-out single but strand him. Brewers due in the bottom of the ninth, tied at 3

Spank said...

lakers down by two. 18 - 16

Spank said...

Blake!! three pointer

Spank said...

21-18 after a Jamison layup.

not Jenna

Spank said...

1st and third no out for Ethier.

Steve Sax said...

Crawford singles and steals second. Mellis hits it straight to Denorfria, who bobbles it, but Crawford missed the sign from Wallach and is still at third.

Mellis gets no RBI

Steve Sax said...

Jonathan Lucroy takes a nine-pitch AB to single to center with none out.

Spank said...

that was not good.dre

Spank said...

24-21 Rockets

Steve Sax said...

Ethier flies to very short center.

ONe out

Steve Sax said...

Why did Guzman catch that deep foul ball? That allowed Crawford to score the Dodgers' run!

Spank said...

agonzo sac fly scores crawdude. nice catch by guzman

Steve Sax said...

Brewers have the bases juiced with one out, bottom 9

Steve Sax said...

Brewers win! Giants lose!

Steve Sax said...

Santiago Casilla takes the loss for the Giants

Steve Sax said...

Let's go, Skipster

Spank said...

Lakers game is moot since Utah lost.

Playoffs??

Spank said...

hedley

Steve Sax said...

Schumacher grounds to first. Of course.

Steve Sax said...

gotta go guys. see you on the other side

Spank said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kid K gives up a homer

Spank said...

pinche punto....catch the ball!!

Spank said...

it's going to be one of those games,folks. i'm getting ready to puke.

Spank said...

bases loaded no outs. kid k is throwing tons of pitches

Spank said...

run scores on a double play

2-1 madres

Spank said...

goddamnit kid k. wtf?

3-1 madres

BJ Killeen said...

Sorry I'm late. In enemy territory (Nor Cal). Can't watch, just listening. Don't like what I'm hearing so far.

BJ Killeen said...

Waving a white flag....

Steve Sax said...

4-1. Fuck the padres.

rbnlaw said...

So glad I'm at a hockey game right now.
#earlycollapse

Oh, it's the Ducks, but still hockey.

Fernie V said...

Steve sax,that was .... Awesome!
Thank you for sharing that. The force is strong with you.

Spank said...

FUCK! i put the game on to see the score and the madres hit another homerun.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BJ Killeen said...

Crying....no, sobbing.

Paul said...

Dodgers getting a beat down.

BJ Killeen said...

We are getting the same value for our money here as we are with electric vehicle company loans.

Fernie V said...

3 Homer Simpsons in one game, damn.

Fernie V said...

So if the padres hit another home run and I don't hear it, did it really happen.

BJ Killeen said...

Stop with the depressing stats Charlie. We get it. THEY SUCK.

Spank said...

i'm ready to break out an expletive filled tirade about the smug padres announcers so i best split.

Fuck you,Enberg!

you too,Jobu

BJ Killeen said...

I'm done. Going to bed. Gotta do a presentation tomorrow and if I keep listening, I'll hit someone from anger and frustration. Good luck. Goodnight.

Steve Sax said...

Good luck on the presentation, BJ!

Steve Sax said...

PGT up.

Alex said...

(reminds self that it's only the 2nd week of the season, cries)