Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Game 14 Thread: April 16 vs. Padres, 7p

Chris Capuano (0-0, 0.00) vs. Jason Marquis (0-1, 3.27)

It's been a rough few days for the Dodgers: The brawl, the Greinke injury, getting shut out twice by the Dbacks, and then whatever the hell THAT was last night. (Sorry again, Jackie!)

Thankfully, Cap has come to our rescue! He'll fix EVERYTHING, including the offensive pit that is the left side of the infield, the lightest hitting bench in the history of baseball, the baserunning buffoonery, and Matt Kemp's swing.

Oh...right...he can't do anything about that. He can pitch, though, and if he does that well enough, we won't have to see the suddenly-worrisome bullpen. (NO DOUBLE-SWITCHES PLEEZ DONNIE KTHXBAI.)

I guess we'll also see if the cease-fire between the Dodgers and Padres was only for last night, or if they're going to wait until the next series Carlos Quentin plays to let the beanballs fly.

Dodgers tickets

90 comments:

Paul said...

Oh what a rush of ripe elan
Languor on divans
Dalliant and dainty
But oh, the smell of burnt cocaine
The dolor and decay
It only makes me cranky
Oh great calamity,
Ditch of iniquity and tears
How I abhor this place
Its sweet and bitter taste
Has left me wretched, retching on all fours
Los Angeles, I'm yours.

Paul said...

A good win with solid play in all phases of the game will help me sleep better tonight.

Orel said...

Or Ambien.

MR.F said...

Hey, Blake DeWitt is on the Braves these days.

Orel said...

How many teams has he been on now?

MR.F said...

Only 3: Us, Cubs, Braves

Orel said...

Blake DeWitt: NL journeyman

Hideo Nomo said...

Wallach said on the pregame that he and AJ both misread the ball hit by Skip.

It said Rawlings, guys.

Steve Sax said...

Giants, Snakes losing. Rox won.

Paul said...

Not sure how you can misread that with normal vision.

Spank said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Spank said...

time for a beaning

Neeebs said...

PJ channeling his inner FM

Spank said...

Cap walks in a run.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Spank said...

Fucking shit

Wicks said...

Capu-sucko

Steve Sax said...

Glad Cap is filling in admirably here

Wicks said...

Me thinks Greinke might have done a tad better. Fuck off Carlos!

Steve Sax said...

@Gnomes: golf clap for the Cap Marquee

Hideo Nomo said...

Thanks!

But, uh, fuck this game. I'll be at the Franz Ferdinand show if anyone needs me.

Cliff Beefpile said...

The hell!? I just sat down and we're already down 4-0?

Capuano. More like CRAP-uano, amiright!?

Cliff Beefpile said...

Much like a Dodger baserunner getting thrown out, 40 feet remain.

Spank said...

Cap is hurt.

Paul said...

This game has started off worse than Neeebs fifth marriage.

MR.F said...

We suckkkkk

BJ Killeen said...

At least he has an excuse now

Steve Sax said...

4-0 through two. Fuck.

BJ Killeen said...

Hey, the Big Bang Theory is on channel 11. At least we can watch a hit.

BJ Killeen said...

Hey, the Big Bang Theory is on channel 11. At least we can watch a hit.

Steve Sax said...

Well, at least we can always go to Harang...

Oh. Shit.

BJ Killeen said...

Another one bites the dust, hey hey

BJ Killeen said...

Vanna, I'd like to buy a strike.

Fred's Brim said...

:(

MR.F said...

Should Matty have made a better play on that ball? mlb.tv glitched out for me, but it looked like he might have had a chance if he turned on the jets.

BJ Killeen said...

Add can't catch to that can't hit stat for Kemp.

Spank said...

horrible throw,kemp. that really sucked

BJ Killeen said...

Vinny is a crack up

Paul said...

That fight last week really fired up one team.

Spank said...

@ BJ

Add can't throw,too.

BJ Killeen said...

Yep Spank

Spank said...

bases loaded. knock the shit out of the ball mofo!

MR.F said...

Hey we're on the board.

Spank said...

damn. close but no cigar

BJ Killeen said...

Kemp's swing makes me ill. Great way to teach little leaguers what NOT to do.

MR.F said...

UGH.

MR.F said...

Hey Spank, who is your avatar?

MR.F said...

Is Kemp's swing different from before?

Steve Sax said...

Criminy, Kemp! What gives?!

Spank said...

i wish they would put up a statue of McGwire so the pigeons could shit all over it.

MR.F said...

Oh, it is Kim.

Spank said...

@ Mr.F

Kim K.

Steve Sax said...

5-1 through 3.5

MR.F said...

That was an ugly swing by Ethier.

karen said...

I just got home. How did Capuana get hurt??

karen said...

Vin saying Rameriz dreaming about coming back. Me too Hanley, me too.

MR.F said...

It was mildly amusing to see Uribe try to beat that ground ball.

karen said...

Eating some salad and drinking some wine. What the hell happened to Capuana??

Steve Sax said...

Fuck you, Carlos Quentin.

Hideo Nomo said...

Hey guys! I forgot how fucking long it takes for bands to take the stage. So, we winnin' yet?

Hideo Nomo said...

Karen, Capuano also had some wine, apparently.

Cliff Beefpile said...

*Sigh*

Aaaand now the Kings are losing. Shit.

Paul said...

@Nomo
Has Peaches and Herb played yet?

karen said...

Matty throwing to home, friar's lead, 6-1.I told mom's caregiver she has to go away and allow we Dodgers fans to suffer in silence
s.

BJ Killeen said...

Open the cellar door; we're coming down the stairs.

Steve Sax said...

Brutal. 7-1

Paul said...



There is a city by the sea
A gentle company
I don't suppose you want to
And as it tells its sorry tale
In harrowing detail
Its hollowness will haunt you
Its streets and boulevards
Orphans and oligarchs it hears
A plaintive melody
Truncated symphony
An ocean's garbled vomit on the shore,
Los Angeles, I'm yours

Orel said...

Joke's on you Padres! You didn't need to steal third to score that seventh run after all!

karen said...

Padre's putting it to the Dodger's. Holy God in heaven, what's next???

Steve Sax said...

8-1. Shit

MR.F said...

Sigh.

Orel said...

Capuguano

rbnlaw said...

The Dodger offense has decided to lay down all the night tide in a sepulchre by the sea.

If this is the anti-2012, I'll gladly take suffering in April for glory in October.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Kings score the last 2 goals of the second period, tie it up 2-2 at the end of the second.

Orel said...

Ken Gurnick ‏@kengurnick 1m

Chris Capuano has a left calf strain.

BJ Killeen said...

Vinny said we're taking it on the chin. Scott says we're taking it up the ass.

Neeebs said...

Is this the curse of McCourt?

Neeebs said...

just read game thread. BJ and Karen are killing it tonight.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Screw you, Amarosa!

BJ Killeen said...

Someone please tell me why I'm still watching this game

Paul said...

I wish I was drunk.

BJ Killeen said...

I don't get the Sweet Caroline/ Boston connection.

BJ Killeen said...

Drowning my sorrows in graham crackers and Almond milk.

Alex said...

Shit sandwich with extra suck

rbnlaw said...

Exactly what they serve for lunch at Shit Camp.

Who's with me?

Steve Sax said...

Haha! 9-2, fuckers! So much for that eight-run spread!!!

BJ Killeen said...

Mercifully it's over.

Steve Sax said...

Luis Cruz and his .105 average, ladies and gentlemen!

rbnlaw said...

#FreeDeeGordon

Spank said...

#FreeWilly





(cries)

Steve Sax said...

it may be ridiculous at this point, but the Post-Game Thread is up.

So is my next Sierra Nevada.