Phishing for Love

An actual e-mail from the SoSG mailbag. Perhaps an SoSG Advice Column submission?

Hello Gentleman,

You assume a lot.

My name is Helen [fake last name redacted], I am 25 years old girl in search of a man who understands love as trust and faith rather seeing it as a way of fun always but a matured man with sense of humor.

It sounds so simple when you put it like that. I mean, isn't that what every woman wants?

so you should also consider trying a new thing by making a open avenue to meet and know new people as this may bring us a happy dream together.

I've always had a thing for English majors.

I am interested in having a relationship with you,

You going to buy me a drink first, sailor?

I will also like to Know you the more, you can send an email to my email address ([phishing e-mail redacted]) so that I can send you more details about my self Including my picture.

Woo hoo!

I believe we can move from here. But bear in mind that Love has no colors barrier, no educational back ground barrier, no socio-economic Barrier, religious, language, nationality or distance barrier,

I just hope you're not a Giants fan.

the only important Thing there is love. I am waiting for your mail and a brief information about you.

See my Blogger profile. I don't have all day!

I believe we can start from here. awaiting to hear from you soon so I can send pics for more introductions.

I'll need your salary information too!

Kisses
Helen

Hey, where's that drink?

Earlier at SoSG: A Broken Heart in My Junk E-mail Box

Some play Assassin, the Delino...

WATCHES FOOTBALL! After a sloppy second half of turnovers and crap plays, Oregon vs Boise St de-evolved into a slugfest at the end of the game:

I'd apologize for the picture taken off the TV by my cell, but it sure beats WJLA's pic from the same game:

Speaking of College Football, look for the Delino this Saturday morning at USC's scrimmage - aka the Home Opener vs. San Jose St.

The Assassins' Circle, Kill Thread 4

This is what The Assassins' Circle has taught me through 3 rounds:

1. Self-discipline is paramount. It's not easy to stand down throughout a 6-hour window, especially when your Target is hanging his matzo ball out there just asking to be gunned down. But must you kill simply because you're given the opportunity? The answer, at least for me, has historically been a no-brainer 'yes' - but in the context of this game, suddenly I'm not so sure.
2. As the bodies pile up, the available cover dwindles, and the danger rises.
3. A burgeoning industry is developing around guessing your Stalker's lunch schedule.
4. The dead lead a less stressful life.

Anyhow, let's rack 'em up! (for rules and side discussions, click here):

And I love how two days ago Karina killed Wicks with her eyes closed and then told him, "I hope you feel better :("

...and how yesterday, she offed Paul with the kill comment "Sorry..." then told him, "I didn't tell you at the moment because i didn't want you to suffer in advance."

...and how today she leads all players in kills.

Anyhow, let the killing among the living commence. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be watching the carnage while knocking back a few with the Chicas Polar at our favorite afterlife watering hole:

"We don't serve the living."

Let's All Fill In Ken Gurnick's Sentence

From Ken Gurnick's latest article on mlb.com, the fourth paragraph:

Acquired Monday night for a player to be named -- which might or might not be infielder Tony Abreu -- [Jon] Garland and fellow arrival Vicente Padilla give the Dodgers six starters (Randy Wolf, Chad Billingsley, Clayton Kershaw and Hiroki Kuroda the others, with Kuroda returning Sunday from a concussion).

What? What does Jon Garland give us (besides a win tonight, splitting this series against the Diamondbacks)?

• a) an extra unexpected win against a sub-.500 team 19 games back
• b) insurance in case Kuroda can't return
• c) insurance against the headcase that is Vicente Padilla
• d) another guy with slight facial hair, to make Casey Blake comfortable
• e) syphilis and/or gonorrhea
• f) none of the above; try ___________________________
• g) all of the above

SoSG readers, I leave it to you.

Game 135 Thread: Sept 3 vs. D'bags, 7p

Jon Garland (8-11, 4.29) vs. Billy Buckner (2-5, 8.63).

COMMENTS: Tonight, the former D'back and current Dodger goes against the current D'back with a former Dodger's name. And really, if the Dodgers can't beat a pitcher with a 1.770 WHIP, then it's going to be a long September indeed. If the Dodgers don't get the split, I'm going bananas.

Lunchtime and Afternoon Scoreboard-Watching (9/3): NL West

First game of interest starts at 12.10p: NY Mets serve up Pat Misch (0-1, 3.41) vs. the Rockies' Jason Marquis (14-9, 3.60), in Colorado. Rockies are 4.5 games behind the Dodgers in the NL West.

Second game of interest starts at 4p (at which time our own GT will launch), but it has the Giants' Tim Lincecum (13-4, 2.33) vs. the Phillies' Pedro Martinez (2-0, 4.50). Feel free to use this thread to comment, or go ahead and leak into the Dodgers/Diamondbacks thread that will launch later; we're not provincial here at SoSG. Giants are 5.5 games behind the Dodgers in the NL West.

The Rockies will host the Diamondbacks this weekend, while the Giants move on to Milwaukee Friday to play the ~.500 Brewers.

Comment away, SoSG readers!

Operation Snoopy: The Find

I was driving in Hollywood last week when I saw Snoopy lying on the road.

That is, the toy pictured above had been tossed on the street in front of a garbage can. Now I'm not generally a fan of picking crap off the street. But I am a fan of (1) Peanuts, (2) toys, and (3) free stuff.

Even from my car, I recognized this version of Snoopy as his 60's/70's incarnation, making it a vintage toy. I doubled back and rescued the dog.

Upon closer inspection, Snoopy was in remarkably good shape. No dings or dents, and the paint job was mostly intact. Imprinted on the bottom of his left foot was: © 1958, 66 UNITED FEATURE SYND and the logo of the manufacturer (either "KTC" or "KTE").

I could only find one online reference to this particular toy; an toy store says it's from 1969 and is charging $45 for theirs.

But there's no way my new favorite toy is ending up on eBay. It found me for a reason, and it's staying with me.

Up next: The restoration effort begins!

The Assassins' Circle, Kill Thread 3

Yesterday's dead:

1. Sax (offed by Danielle)
2. Danielle (Matt)
3. Dusty Baker (John G)
4. John G (Mr Customer)
5. Mr Customer (Quad)
6. Wicks (Karina)
7. UBragg (missed deadline)

And although he broke no rules - he just arbitraged the absence of one - Dr. Geek has asked to be removed from the Circle. His wishes have been honored.

Speaking of which, the need for two new rules emerged from the last round:

1. No deleting comments, at least for remaining competitors. We can see who deleted their own comments so it will do you no good, but it makes the game more tedious to administer.
2. "The Dr. Geek Rule" - No decoy posts (i.e., posting under similar username to draw out your Stalker). Your infamy will indeed live on, Dr. G.

Plus, three rule clarifications:

1. The Initiator cannot shield himself with his kill comment.
2. As mentioned earlier, the game ends when there are 2 competitors remaining, and the one with the most kills wins. However, if all but 1 competitor is eliminated in the last round, that last competitor wins.
3. Furthermore, if ALL competitors are eliminated in the last round, whoever was eliminated last in the round wins.

The original rules post has been updated with the above.

Now, with no further ado, let's get to earmarking the next batch of body bags!:

(click image to enlarge)

As always, to review the rules or to engage in side discussions that you don't want to do in this Kill Thread, you can go to this thread instead.

Power Switch?

Jim Thome in Dodger Blue.

Matt Kemp and his new NBA BFF, fellow Oklahoman Blake Griffin.

Kemp, giddy as a schoolchild, signs for giddy schoolchildren.

1: Jacob de Golish/Getty Images; 2 & 3: Jon SooHoo/Dodgers

Post-Game 134 Thread: You Mess With Superstition, You're Gonna Pay

DIAMONDBACKS 4, DODGERS 1

Why should you be respectful of superstitions? Probably because they're there for a reason. And those who choose to anger the gods get smited like a fly on a windshield.

So it was that the Dodgers opted not to go quietly tonight, with an eighth-inning Manny Ramirez single providing the only RBI on a night when the Dodgers sought to uphold a 2-for-18 streak with RISP. With the Dodgers making Max Scherzer looking almost compelling, Chad Billingsley had his one shaky inning in the fifth inning, allowing four runs and a home run to Brandon Allen (his second this year), and that was all she wrote. Dodgers drop to 4.5 games ahead of Colorado, who won tonight (as did the Giants, behind bloated burper Brad Penny).

Said Vin Scully in the ninth inning, tired of the motions through which the Dodgers went, "The Dodgers roll over in the ninth." When the opponent is the woeful Diamondbacks, that's a pretty pathetic trick to show; let's hope new acquisition Jon Garland can fetch us a win tomorrow so we can salvage a split against this sorry team.

Game 134 Thread: Sept 2 vs. Diamondbacks, 7p

Chad Billingsley (12-8, 3.83) vs. Max Scherzer (8-8, 4.26).

COMMENTS: We are so certain of a victory tonight that we're even taking the brakes off of our GT superstitions (opponent name in the title; posting on the hour). Why should we be worried? Arizona is 19 games off of the division pace. Scherzer hasn't gone more than 7 innings in any of his last six starts (2W, 2L, 2ND), with his ERA jumping from 3.61 to 4.26 over that period. AccuScore gives us a 53% chance of winning tonight's contest. And most of us Dodger fans have faith in Chad Billingsley, despite drivel from Bill Plaschke and the usual gang of idiots, as well as losses in Billingsley's last two outings.

We've waited two games into this four-game series to bust out the team's hupping sticks, whcih I believe is deliberately and coincidentally timed for "new-man" (get it?) Jim Thome's arrival tonight. So I expect a huge win by the Dodgers tonight. In fact, you'd be Mad not to agree.

Dodgers Honor Fallen Heroes

Before Monday's game, the Dodgers recognized Los Angeles County Fire Capt. Ted Hall and Firefighter Specialist Arnie Quinones, who died in the Angeles National Forest wildfire.

photo by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers

Huh?

Was Creed already sponsored?

Maybe the Dodgers like the Canadian semi-group's consistency. This is two of their "songs" played simultaneously - I guess once you make the perfect song, why break the mold?

Assassins' Circle Kill Thread 2

Here's yesterday's carnage:

• Neeebs (killed by Lauro in 5 mins)
• J Steve (by EK in 9 mins)
• EK (by Dr Geek in less than a minute!)
• Loney Fan
• djansson
• Felix Pardalis
• Bruce Almighty

I found it interesting that yesterday's circle happened to put two pairs of puzzle rivals in a Stalker/Target relationship: Neeebs/Karina, and Loney Fan/Quad. In each case, the Target prevailed.

Anyhow, below is the updated Circle. Scope out your new victim and pursuer - stepping over corpses as necessary - and reload for today's bloodletting (no. of kills in parenthesis):

(click image to enlarge)

And tread carefully, Quad. Dr Geek doesn't mess around.

To review the rules or to engage in side discussions that you don't want to do in this Kill Thread, you can go to this thread instead.

David Wright's Oversized Helmet

New York may be the fashion capital of the world, but with the Mets it's safety before fashion. Hence David Wright's new gourd guard, which reminded me of:

(FanIQ already laid claim to the Dark Helmet analogy, by the way.)

Wright seems to have a pretty good sense of humor about the whole thing:

"There needs to be a few adjustments," Wright said after taking the helmet out for a spin. "I really don't care what I look like. If it provides a little more safety, I'm all for it. We need to work on getting it to fit a little better so it's a little more snug.

"Those guys were laughing at me on the other side. Our guys were laughing at me. All the guys on the field were yelling at me, so everything's back to normal I guess."

Good on you, Mr. Wright. Stay safe!

photo by David Zalubowski/AP

Post-Game 133 Thread: Barely Better Than Snakes

DODGERS 4, DIAMONDBACKS 3

The Dodgers continue their offensive somnambulation by relying upon a bases-loaded walk to Andre Ethier in the seventh to score the winning run against the woeful, 20-games-back Arizona Diamondbacks. With one out and the bases still juiced, Manny Ramirez got caught looking for what seemed like the 10th time this week, and Casey Blake flied to short right to end the rally.

Vicente Padilla went 5.1 IP and had 5Ks and 1ER, but newly promoted Scott Elbert gave up 2 ER to tie the game at three, before Ronald Belisario and Ramon Troncoso restored scoreless order (the latter thanks to an acrobatic inning-ending catch by Andre Ethier in right). Jonathan Broxton got two quick outs, then surrendered a single to Justin Upton (who stole second), before getting Mark Reynolds to popout to Orlando Hudson (Reynolds went 0-for-5). The Dodgers keep the Rockies 5.5 games back, and watch the Giants (who lost 1-0 to the Phillies) recede to 6.5 GB.

A first inning solo HR from Matt Kemp capped a 2-for-3, 2R, 1BB night for the Bison, but our 3-4-5 (Ethier (who had a sac fly), Ramirez and Blake) all 0-fered, providing a gaping hole smack dab in the lineup. Perhaps the team is waiting for tomorrow's arrival of Jim Thome; clearly, the newly-suited Dodger Jon Garland (who dressed in Diamondback red and black last night, standing in the opposite dugout) didn't do much to inspire the team. Maybe Garland's day is coming up soon?

Game 133 Thread: Sept 1 vs. Asps. Very Dangerous. You Go First, 7p

Vicente Padilla (9-6, 4.86) vs. Yusmeiro Petit (3-8, 5.59).

COMMENTS: Pretty Boy Padilla takes on Little Prince Petit in another game the Dodgers should win. Will they win? That's another matter altogether. New acquisition Jon Garland will be in uniform for the Dodgers since all he has to do is switch uniforms and dugouts. Do you think he's still staying at the hotel with the rest of his Arizona teammates? That could be a little awkward. Jim Thome figured to be with the White Sox in Minnesota yesterday when he was traded, but he might make tonight's game if he doesn't have any layovers en route to L.A. His mere presence would certainly be a boost for the Dodgers, who are desperately in need of some offensive consistency. After all, Ronnie Belliard can't do it all by himself.

Penny Looks So Good In Halloween Colors

I am still trying to wrap my head around this, as are other Giants fans, who have called the Giants' pickup of Brad Penny "one of the all-time meh moves. The fact of the matter is, even the heavily-publicized duo of Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain gets you at most one incremental win through a five-man rotation when you've got Joe Martinez in the fifth slot (his no-hitter notwithstanding my bad, thanks HLACK).

Besides the obvious anticipation of getting to play Penny on the Giants, the point is, our issues trying to figure out the back end of our starting rotation (if not Vicente Padilla or Charlie Haeger or Jon Garland) are common to everyone else, too. And unlike the Giants, we don't need to have the fifth starter win every game from here on out, with a 5.5 game lead going into the final month.

I also have to post a sweet photo montage from Big League Stew, who used the accompanying article to address Penny's ballooning weight issue (which has tended to eclipse all other descriptions of Penny (literally)). Guess Kung Fu Panda had better make sure he's first in line at the post-game spread, for now on.

Thome Don't Play That (1B)?

Ned Colletti pulled off a pretty surprising and gutsy move at the trade deadline, picking up Jim Thome from the White Sox and Jon Garland from the Diamondbacks right before the music stopped and everyone had to take their seats. Garland's acquisition aside (which is obviously protection given Hiroki Kuroda's uncertain recovery, as well as general uncertainty surrounding the viability of Vicente Padilla and Charlie Haeger), I'm especially intrigued by the addition of Thome.

Thome brings yet another 500 HR bat to the team (joining Manny Ramirez), and even if his best days are well behind him, the prospect of having both power bats in a lineup together--particularly when we've had power outages from Russell Martin, Rafael Furcal, and James Loney all year--has to make any Dodger fan salivate.

In the moments after the trade, however, it's a little vague where Thome would play, given the presence of Loney (a defensive premium even if he lacks Thome's sock) at first base.

It's not immediately clear what role Thome will fill for the Dodgers. He has been exclusively a designated hitter the past two seasons and hasn't played first base -- the position he played earlier in his career -- since appearing in one game there in 2007. He hasn't played first base full time since 2004.

"I'm not saying you won't see Jimmy at first, but I want to talk to him," Torre said.

James Loney is the Dodgers' regular first baseman, but he has only nine homers.

Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti envisions Thome playing a role similar to the one Matt Stairs filled for the World Series champion Phillies last year -- he hit a key home run against the Dodgers in the National League Championship Series.

"We're not bringing him over here to play first base," Colletti said. "We're bringing him here to come off the bench and be a great influence in the clubhouse. He's one of the true great guys in the game.

I don't remember much about Matt Stairs except his back-breaking HR off Broxton in the NLCS Game 4. Which is enough, I suppose, to justify Thome's presence in itself. If we get a backbreaking homerun from Thome in the NLCS? I'll take it (even if Rob Neyer and Bill Shaikin are puzzled with the move).

Meanwhile, the PH alternative of Mark Loretta (who has 0 HR this season anyway) has been in steady decline since a decent first month, with an OPS shrinking from the 800s to the 500s since May 1. Juan Pierre can still slap one and get on base, but having a big stick like Thome can't hurt our roster, as far as I can tell.

If the Thome move gives James Loney a couple of days off in September, cushioned by a 5.5 game divisional lead and weak opponent schedule down the stretch (reflected by our 99% chance of making the playoffs), that also might be a nice benefit. Maybe Loney can keep working on his weight transfer during his swing, which seems to have improved of late with a couple of home runs last week. I don't think Loney, 14 years Thome's junior, is in danger of losing his regular spot; Thome don't play that. Occasional time off (or innings off at the end of a game) might help Loney restore and rejuvenate before the post-season.

All this to say, welcome to the Dodgers, Jim Thome. Hope to see a lot of you--more so at the plate than on the field, but still.

UPDATE 1.13p: MSTI has a good analysis, and positive outlook, on the Thome pickup. Not so positive, btw, on the Garland move.

Assassins' Circle Kill Thread 1

Let the bloodshed begin!

To review the rules, threaten your Target, taunt and/or beg for mercy from your Stalker, or for general questions, comment on this thread instead of this Kill Thread. Because you don't want to cavalierly comment here.

Here's the Circle:

(click image to enlarge)

Remember, be sure to comment before 3pm!