I read to my kids. It's one of the highlights of my day.
And somewhere, in the early morning hours before the sun rose, I was dutifully reading aloud one of our favorite children's stories, "But Not The Hippopotamus" (third one from the top). And I orated, while letting my mind drift to other random topics, such as the Dodgers' infuriating game of chicken with Manny Ramirez.
Hijinks ensued. And with sincere apologies to Sandra Boynton, out of my half-lucid state emerged a tale like the following.
Sons of Steve Garvey presents: BUT NOT THE FORMER RED SOCK