You may remember when we posted what went on to become the world's closest 6-way poll ever. Well, again playing off the inarguable truth that a man's value to society is determined solely by his athletic prowess and a woman's solely by her physical attractiveness (that's sarcasm, folks), let's move on to round two of the least deserving athlete poll. To review the criteria for candidacy and rules for voting:
- Don't make a snap judgment based on the hotness of the wife/girlfriend. The crappiness of the player must be given equal weight in the decision.
- The athlete has to be currently active.
- The wife/girlfriend has to have obtained some level of celebrity not related to being with the athlete.
- The relationship has to be more than a brief hookup.
- To avoid systematic bias, current or former Dodgers are not included (sorry Julia Shultz).
Here are the candidates in random order:
1) Marko Jaric, Grizzlies Guard (fiancé: Victoria Secret model Adriana Lima). Where to start? His NBA career has redefined the losing paradigm: He went from the Clippers (.369 win % during his 3 years there) to the Timberwolves (0.354 in 3 years) to Memphis (0.346 in 26 games). And it's not like he's contributing in spite of the losing. While I won't kick a man while he's down and mention his exact stats, let's just say that this year I'm averaging only 1.1 ppg and 7.6 mpg fewer than he is.
2) Jeff Garcia, Buccaneers QB (wife: Playboy Playmate Carmella DeCesare). Granted, Garcia has had a good if unspectacular career. But just take a look at the girl on the left below. Then take a look at the guy to her right. Then repeat after me: WTF??
3) Hank Baskett, Eagles Receiver (fiancé: Playboy model Kendra Wilkinson). How did a guy who's never topped 35 catches or 500 yards in a season manage to net the Girls Next Door vixen? Hint: on the football field, he's not competing with 82-year olds.
4) Macaulay Culkin (girlfriend: actress Mila Kunis). Ok, so he's not an athlete. But he's been dating the überhot Mila Kunis for 6 years (and counting) thanks to one successful movie almost 20 years ago. So I had to include him. But judging from the photo below, at least he seems to know his place in the relationship.
So there are your choices (if there are other undeserving athletes out there that we've missed, let us know!).