Thursday, December 18, 2008

ESPN Merges with Hallmark

As our loyal reader(s) knows, the Delino grew up in DeDelaware. And back in the day, nobody was bigger in the tri-state area (in our minds, Delaware, Jersey, and Pennsylvania) than Mike Schmidt's moustache and Dr. J.

G. Love and Special Sauce even immortalized the man in their smash single "I-76." (EDITOR's NOTE: Youtube won't let us embed the video. So you've got to click on over.) But times are tough for the modern Sixers fan. Mo Cheeks is pounding the pavement. Elton Brand is pounding the Codeine. And ESPN's coverage of Julius Erving is pounding the cheese.

Apparently ESPN hired the designer of the Schindler's List poster for this tale of love's labour lost.

There's no manual for this. There are no instructions for: Basketball icon meets female sportswriter, has extramarital affair, gets sportswriter pregnant, misses childbirth due to game against Pacers, asks for separate lives, reads about the child 18 years later in the newspaper, has a broken heart, wishes for a way to reconcile, spends nine years thinking about it, can't pull the trigger.

There's no way to fix all that. Is there? There can't possibly be a happily ever after. Can there? There's no phone call that can heal everything. Correct?

Unless the picture of hands is a lie, I assume father and daughter are together again. I'd be happy for them, but am still trying to figure out where his afro went, and how the Sixers are 12.5 games back after only 25 games played.