Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Get Your Tournament Schedule and Rules Interpretation Here!

Well, the commissioner has heard your cries for mercy. To simplify things, I'm eliminating Rule #3. If you complete 5 consecutive unblocked passes, that's a goal, no shot required. String together as many sets of 5 as you can. To get possession, you'll need a successful block. Your rules, in layman's terms, are as follows.

  1. Pass to your teammates.
  2. Block the opposing team's passes.
  3. Get rid of the ball within a minute.
The legalese rules in the original post have been updated accordingly, for those interested in such things. As a bonus, this makes things much easier for the commissioner, so we've got that going for us.

The Teams

Jersey BourdélotsGuernsey Ormers Alderney Sots
NeeebsJason Loney Fan
SpankHideo Nomo Franklin Stubbs
Steve Sax KarinaSteve K
Dusty Baker MLASCPaul
MeanieBreanieOrelRbnlaw
Mr. F Fred's Brim Fernie V

Each team will play each other twice. Wins count for 3 points, Draws count for 1 point, Losses count for nothing. The teams with the most points after all games are played will advance to the championship. In case of a tie, goal differential will be used.

Fixtures

Friday 1/13, 3pm-3:30pm: Jersey v. Guernsey

Monday 1/16, 3pm-3:30pm: Jersey v. Alderney

Tuesday 1/17, 3pm-3:30pm: Guernsey v. Alderney

Wednesday 1/18 11am-11:30am: Guernsey v. Jersey

Thursday 1/20 3pm-3:30pm: Alderney v. Jersey

Friday 1/21 11am-11:30am: Alderney v. Guernsey

As promised, here are some simulated examples of play:

Rule #1

3:01 pm: Dusty Baker controls the ball and PASSES.

3:02 pm: Steve Sax CATCHES the pass.

3:03 pm: Steve Sax PASSES.

3:03 pm: Dusty Baker CATCHES the ball.

3:03 pm: Dusty Baker PASSES.

3:04 pm: Mr. F CATCHES the pass.

...and so on.

Rule #2

3:04 pm: Mr. F PASSES the ball.

3:04pm: Karina BLOCKS Mr. F's pass and starts possession for Guernsey.

3:04pm: Dusty Baker attempts to anticipate Karina's pass and BLOCKS.

3:05pm: Karina PASSES. Dusty now may not block this pass, having used his attempt.

3:05pm: Hideo Nomo CATCHES the pass.

Rule #3

There is no rule #3

Rule #4

3:12pm: Franklin Stubbs CATCHES a pass.

3:14pm: OHMYGODGETHIMOFFMEfhfdjjlfdamzv!

3:14pm: The last player to comment from the opposing team restarts play.

34 comments:

MeanieBreanie said...

To my Jersey teammates. I will be out Wednesday possibly Thursday of next week due to surgery. I'm sorry but it can't be helped. You will have to pick up the slack for me.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Sorry to hear that, MB. Get well soon!

I went with teams of 6 with the knowledge the everyone would not be able to participate 100% of the time. There shouldn't be a huge advantage in numbers.

Jason said...

Rule #3: No one talks about rule #3

Spank said...

Jersey Inmates. Will do,MB. Good luck with the surgery.

Dusty Baker said...

Are there long beer lines at water polo matches?

Franklin Stubbs said...

The beer lines are short, but bathroom lines are long. Proceed at your own peril.

MeanieBreanie said...

Thanks for the well wishes.
@Stubbs,Dusty - The beer lines may be short but so could the bathroom lines. I would be very concerned about what lurks in the water.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Peeing in the pool gets you a date with a large, angry reptile.

Spank said...

Passes!!!!! Out!!!!!!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

What about shitting in the pool?

Fred's Brim said...

Channel Islands or breeds of cow?

BOTH!

Orel said...

GO ORMERS!

GOORMERS?

Hideo Nomo said...

Are we allowed to PUFF PUFF before we PASS?

Dusty Baker said...

Or to COCK BLOCK?

Spank said...

I've got sock jock.

Orel said...

knock knock

Fernie V said...

MB, good luck with your surgery. Major or minor or a combination?

Jason said...

@Orel

Who's there?

Hideo Nomo said...

One last question: Since it's a saltwater croc, are we playing in the ocean? Or is the croc pissed off because he's forced to be in a pool?

Hideo Nomo said...

Sorry. One more (legitimate) question, since I didn't see it explicitly stated in the rules: First commenter determines the team that has opening possession?

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

@Meanie, sorry to hear you're going on the DL. Hope you have a speedy recovery!

As a spectator, my money is on Jersey to win it all. Fans love the emo stories behind sports, and MB going down is tugging on my heart strings.

Spank said...

Block

MeanieBreanie said...

@Dusty - thanks for the warm wishes. We are all in it to win it! Round 1 tomorrow.

PASS

MR.F said...

Argh. Why does it have to be 3pm tomorrow?!?! I may not really be available at that time!!!!

rbnlaw said...

So, when I post "KILLKILLKILL" that results in a goal? Never understood that watersport.

I may be out for the Monday fixture. Carry on bravely, lads and lasses.

Franklin Stubbs said...

@Nomo

Yes, the comment thread will be posted at 3pm en punto, first comment in takes the jump ball to start.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Also, freshwater pool / saltwater croc, just to get him good and riled up. He also finds that chlorine irritating.

Franklin Stubbs said...

@Mr. F

If a large percentage of a team is out for a particular contest, we can make an appeal to the commissioner.

rbnlaw said...

Battle Toad heading to the BoTox! Good fit.

Spank said...

Catch

Hideo Nomo said...

Molly Knight's Josh Macciello tweets are making my day right now.

Dusty Baker said...

Are you pitching or catching, Spanky?

Spank said...

BLOCK

Spank said...

I'm pitching a tent.