Well, the commissioner has heard your cries for mercy. To simplify things, I'm eliminating Rule #3. If you complete 5 consecutive unblocked passes, that's a goal, no shot required. String together as many sets of 5 as you can. To get possession, you'll need a successful block. Your rules, in layman's terms, are as follows.
- Pass to your teammates.
- Block the opposing team's passes.
- Get rid of the ball within a minute.
| Jersey Bourdélots | Guernsey Ormers | Alderney Sots |
|---|---|---|
| Neeebs | Jason | Loney Fan |
| Spank | Hideo Nomo | Franklin Stubbs |
| Steve Sax | Karina | Steve K |
| Dusty Baker | MLASC | Paul |
| MeanieBreanie | Orel | Rbnlaw |
| Mr. F | Fred's Brim | Fernie V |
Each team will play each other twice. Wins count for 3 points, Draws count for 1 point, Losses count for nothing. The teams with the most points after all games are played will advance to the championship. In case of a tie, goal differential will be used.
Friday 1/13, 3pm-3:30pm: Jersey v. Guernsey
Monday 1/16, 3pm-3:30pm: Jersey v. Alderney
Tuesday 1/17, 3pm-3:30pm: Guernsey v. Alderney
Wednesday 1/18 11am-11:30am: Guernsey v. Jersey
Thursday 1/20 3pm-3:30pm: Alderney v. Jersey
Friday 1/21 11am-11:30am: Alderney v. Guernsey
As promised, here are some simulated examples of play:
Rule #1
3:01 pm: Dusty Baker controls the ball and PASSES.
3:02 pm: Steve Sax CATCHES the pass.
3:03 pm: Steve Sax PASSES.
3:03 pm: Dusty Baker CATCHES the ball.
3:03 pm: Dusty Baker PASSES.
3:04 pm: Mr. F CATCHES the pass.
...and so on.
Rule #2
3:04 pm: Mr. F PASSES the ball.
3:04pm: Karina BLOCKS Mr. F's pass and starts possession for Guernsey.
3:04pm: Dusty Baker attempts to anticipate Karina's pass and BLOCKS.
3:05pm: Karina PASSES. Dusty now may not block this pass, having used his attempt.
3:05pm: Hideo Nomo CATCHES the pass.
Rule #3
There is no rule #3
Rule #4
3:12pm: Franklin Stubbs CATCHES a pass.
3:14pm: OHMYGODGETHIMOFFMEfhfdjjlfdamzv!
3:14pm: The last player to comment from the opposing team restarts play.
33 comments:
To my Jersey teammates. I will be out Wednesday possibly Thursday of next week due to surgery. I'm sorry but it can't be helped. You will have to pick up the slack for me.
Sorry to hear that, MB. Get well soon!
I went with teams of 6 with the knowledge the everyone would not be able to participate 100% of the time. There shouldn't be a huge advantage in numbers.
Rule #3: No one talks about rule #3
Jersey Inmates. Will do,MB. Good luck with the surgery.
Are there long beer lines at water polo matches?
The beer lines are short, but bathroom lines are long. Proceed at your own peril.
Thanks for the well wishes.
@Stubbs,Dusty - The beer lines may be short but so could the bathroom lines. I would be very concerned about what lurks in the water.
Peeing in the pool gets you a date with a large, angry reptile.
Passes!!!!! Out!!!!!!
What about shitting in the pool?
Channel Islands or breeds of cow?
BOTH!
GO ORMERS!
GOORMERS?
Are we allowed to PUFF PUFF before we PASS?
Or to COCK BLOCK?
I've got sock jock.
knock knock
MB, good luck with your surgery. Major or minor or a combination?
@Orel
Who's there?
One last question: Since it's a saltwater croc, are we playing in the ocean? Or is the croc pissed off because he's forced to be in a pool?
Sorry. One more (legitimate) question, since I didn't see it explicitly stated in the rules: First commenter determines the team that has opening possession?
@Meanie, sorry to hear you're going on the DL. Hope you have a speedy recovery!
As a spectator, my money is on Jersey to win it all. Fans love the emo stories behind sports, and MB going down is tugging on my heart strings.
Block
@Dusty - thanks for the warm wishes. We are all in it to win it! Round 1 tomorrow.
PASS
Argh. Why does it have to be 3pm tomorrow?!?! I may not really be available at that time!!!!
So, when I post "KILLKILLKILL" that results in a goal? Never understood that watersport.
I may be out for the Monday fixture. Carry on bravely, lads and lasses.
@Nomo
Yes, the comment thread will be posted at 3pm en punto, first comment in takes the jump ball to start.
Also, freshwater pool / saltwater croc, just to get him good and riled up. He also finds that chlorine irritating.
@Mr. F
If a large percentage of a team is out for a particular contest, we can make an appeal to the commissioner.
Battle Toad heading to the BoTox! Good fit.
Molly Knight's Josh Macciello tweets are making my day right now.
Are you pitching or catching, Spanky?
BLOCK
I'm pitching a tent.
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