Game 15 Thread: April 23 @ Giants, 12:45pm

Mike Bolsinger (0.00 -.--) vs. Ryan Vogelsong (0-1, 10.45)

Get-away game, and boy do we need it. After running the Great Boob Streak of '15, the Dodgers ran into the slumping pile of scruffy greasers who were clearly highly motivated to turn things around and to beat their chief rivals. Aaaand have they.

Today Mike Bolsinger makes his Dodger debut, generating exactly no excitement or optimism (except probably from Karina). Game 15 and we're already scrambling for starting pitching - what could go wrong? Here's hoping the not-really-necessary-14-games-in decision to rest key players last night pays off and the Dodger bats re-awaken, as does the infield defense.

I heard on the radio this morning that last night's matchup was the first time in baseball history that a reigning World Series MVP and a reigning Cy Young award winner had ever faced off against one another. Makes me wonder if two pitchers whose last names involve singing have ever faced off?

Too bad this isn't a weekend day, or it would be straight to the Assassins' Circle Bar for some spicy Bloody Marys with a shot of hate on the side.

Post-Game 44 Thread: Chased

Chaised!

DIAMONDBACKS 18, DODGERS 7

Well, I guess I got run over with the karma bus tonight. I made some overconfident remark in the Game Thread post about how we always beat the Snakes, how we look to do so again with Kershaw on the mound, and that we should chase their starting pitcher early.

Jinx!

Kershaw ended up not getting out of the second. I won't torture us further with the details, other than to note that Clay gave up THREE STINKING TRIPLES IN ONE FRIGGIN' INNING. Enough said.

Positive note: Puig continued his hitting streak with a home run.

Now back to the suckage. Dodgers threatened to mount a comeback with a three-run Crawdaddy HR, narrowing it to 9-5, but then our bullpen took over shit sandwich sales and the rout was on. Let's just smoke some ketamine and pretend this never happened. In fact, the Assassins' Bar is buying a round for everyone so get yer drink orders in.

The Assassin's Circle: SoSG Alex Cora Comes Calling, Too

If you're going to play a game with assassins, don't screw up the prize mention, or you're going to get killed...

And so it is that SoSG Alex Cora deserves front and center mention, because it was he (and Mrs. Cora) who procured the Mannywood shirt that Assassin's Circle winner Fred's Brim will receive.

SoSG Sax should have taken no credit for this gift. My mistake. Apologies, SoSG Cora! Can I get unchained from this water heater now, please?

Fred's Brim, you know where to send your thank you note!

The Assassins' Circle: The Brim Reaper Comes Calling

The Brim Reaper does not kill indiscriminately. The Brim Reaper does not kill speculatively. The Brim Reaper kills only when he needs to.

And he did not need to kill until the last day. But when he did, the clock struck midnight on the other 28 participants (incidentally, FB was positioned at midnight in the circle). So despite entering the last day as the only player without a kill, FB was able to parley his previous backroom handshake deals with rbnlaw into a victory in the inaugural season of Assassins' Circle.

Congratulations, FB! And congratulations to the other finalists rbnlaw, who required the Assassins' Circle scoreboard operators to add a decimal place to the kills column (or was it Dr Geek who made this necessary?), and GLG, who kindly took the last shot of the game to allow FB to join the rest of us at the afterlife happy hour.

Here's what he's won, courtesy of SoSG Sax:

Although an XL Mannywood T-Shirt ain't nothing to sneeze at, we did try our best to get you something a bit more substantial.

Thanks everyone for playing - postgame drinks at the Assassins' Circle Neighborhood Pub in the Sky!

By the way, I forgot - which reader first gave FB the Brim Reaper nickname?

The Assassins' Circle, Kill Thread 7

"You guys shoot like stormtroopers." - Keven C

Yesterday's Kill Thread was one for the ages. Was it because it was posted at 9/9/09 at 9am? Whatever the reason, when all three survivors missed the mark with their collective four shots, we were left with a most unexpected, bizarre non-ending that I certainly didn't see coming.

But you know who did foresee the craziness, 22 hours before it all went down? See 4:59pm here.

So I guess we'll rack 'em up and do it again!

Side discussion/rules thread here.

Caption Contest / The Assassins' Circle Kill Thread 6

Three more left! Let's review the endgame rules (side discussion/rules thread here):

• If all three are killed this round, the last player in the round to die wins.
• If two of the three are killed, the remaining player wins.
• If only one is killed, the one of the remaining two players with the most kills wins.
• If none are killed, we play round 7 tomorrow!

The permutations are tantalizing. With each remaining player having a different number of kills, an element of game theory is introduced: each survivor needs a different outcome to be victorious, and the consequences of their actions depend on their opponents' actions, which in turn depend on what their opponents think their actions will be, and so on. Kind of like deciding your wager amount in Final Jeopardy. Either that, or they'll all just try to comment a split second before 3:01. I guess we'll see how it plays out.

I'll take blood, carnage, and mayhem for $1000, Alex!

Speaking of Jeopardy, caption below what rbnlaw is saying to Fred's Brim. Here's one to get you started:

"You forgot to phrase your answer in the form
of something that scares me"

The Assassins' Circle Kill Thread 5

After a long, relaxing holiday weekend, it's time to get back to killing others:

Rules and side discussion thread here.

The Assassins' Circle, Kill Thread 4

This is what The Assassins' Circle has taught me through 3 rounds:

1. Self-discipline is paramount. It's not easy to stand down throughout a 6-hour window, especially when your Target is hanging his matzo ball out there just asking to be gunned down. But must you kill simply because you're given the opportunity? The answer, at least for me, has historically been a no-brainer 'yes' - but in the context of this game, suddenly I'm not so sure.
2. As the bodies pile up, the available cover dwindles, and the danger rises.
3. A burgeoning industry is developing around guessing your Stalker's lunch schedule.
4. The dead lead a less stressful life.

Anyhow, let's rack 'em up! (for rules and side discussions, click here):

And I love how two days ago Karina killed Wicks with her eyes closed and then told him, "I hope you feel better :("

...and how yesterday, she offed Paul with the kill comment "Sorry..." then told him, "I didn't tell you at the moment because i didn't want you to suffer in advance."

...and how today she leads all players in kills.

Anyhow, let the killing among the living commence. Meanwhile, the rest of us will be watching the carnage while knocking back a few with the Chicas Polar at our favorite afterlife watering hole:

"We don't serve the living."

The Assassins' Circle, Kill Thread 3

Yesterday's dead:

1. Sax (offed by Danielle)
2. Danielle (Matt)
3. Dusty Baker (John G)
4. John G (Mr Customer)
5. Mr Customer (Quad)
6. Wicks (Karina)
7. UBragg (missed deadline)

And although he broke no rules - he just arbitraged the absence of one - Dr. Geek has asked to be removed from the Circle. His wishes have been honored.

Speaking of which, the need for two new rules emerged from the last round:

1. No deleting comments, at least for remaining competitors. We can see who deleted their own comments so it will do you no good, but it makes the game more tedious to administer.
2. "The Dr. Geek Rule" - No decoy posts (i.e., posting under similar username to draw out your Stalker). Your infamy will indeed live on, Dr. G.

Plus, three rule clarifications:

1. The Initiator cannot shield himself with his kill comment.
2. As mentioned earlier, the game ends when there are 2 competitors remaining, and the one with the most kills wins. However, if all but 1 competitor is eliminated in the last round, that last competitor wins.
3. Furthermore, if ALL competitors are eliminated in the last round, whoever was eliminated last in the round wins.

The original rules post has been updated with the above.

Now, with no further ado, let's get to earmarking the next batch of body bags!:

(click image to enlarge)

As always, to review the rules or to engage in side discussions that you don't want to do in this Kill Thread, you can go to this thread instead.

Assassins' Circle Kill Thread 2

Here's yesterday's carnage:

• Neeebs (killed by Lauro in 5 mins)
• J Steve (by EK in 9 mins)
• EK (by Dr Geek in less than a minute!)
• Loney Fan
• djansson
• Felix Pardalis
• Bruce Almighty

I found it interesting that yesterday's circle happened to put two pairs of puzzle rivals in a Stalker/Target relationship: Neeebs/Karina, and Loney Fan/Quad. In each case, the Target prevailed.

Anyhow, below is the updated Circle. Scope out your new victim and pursuer - stepping over corpses as necessary - and reload for today's bloodletting (no. of kills in parenthesis):

(click image to enlarge)

And tread carefully, Quad. Dr Geek doesn't mess around.

To review the rules or to engage in side discussions that you don't want to do in this Kill Thread, you can go to this thread instead.

Assassins' Circle Kill Thread 1

Let the bloodshed begin!

To review the rules, threaten your Target, taunt and/or beg for mercy from your Stalker, or for general questions, comment on this thread instead of this Kill Thread. Because you don't want to cavalierly comment here.

Here's the Circle:

(click image to enlarge)

Remember, be sure to comment before 3pm!

Mystery Competition Revealed: The Assassins' Circle

If you were brave (fool?) enough to sign up for our latest mystery competition, you are hereby initiated into "The Assassins' Circle".

(pause to allow gravity of situation to sink in)

If you hope to survive, I strongly suggest you read the following carefully...but if it's just too many words, skip down to the bottom "In Summary" for the Cliffs Notes version:

(click image to enlarge)

General Concept

• Find yourself in the circle above. Make note of the person to whom your arrow is pointing. He/she is your 'Kill Target.' The person whose arrow is pointing at you is your 'Stalker' and is trying to kill you.
• Your objective is to eliminate your Kill Target while avoiding elimination from your Stalker.
• If you eliminate your Target, in the following round that person's Target is your new Target.
• For example, Fred's Brim is targeting rbnlaw, who is targeting Dr. Geek. If Fred's Brim successfully knocks off rbnlaw, his new Target for the following round is Dr. Geek (assuming Dr. Geek wasn't also eliminated, in which case Fred Brim's new Target would be SoSG Karros).
• After every round, the Assassins' Circle will be updated by removing the eliminated players.

How to Kill Your Kill Target

• Starting tomorrow and on each subsequent weekday (excluding Labor Day), an Assassins' Circle "Kill Thread" will be posted at 9:00am PT. That post will be in play until 3:00pm PT.
• You kill your target by making a comment in the Kill Thread immediately following the comment of your target. If there are any 'live' comments (defined 2 bullets below) in between yours and that of your Target, no kill has taken place.
• In a given round, each player can eliminate only his/her target and can thus make at most one kill per round.
• With the exception of 'The Initiator' (explained below), only the first comment in a given day by a given player is a 'live' comment. All subsequent comments will be factored out of the game (ignored) when I tally up the bloodshed at the end of the day.
• Similarly, any comments made by those not playing, by those already eliminated, or those made after 3pm are not considered 'live' comments and also will be factored out. For clarification: 3:00pm comments are accepted. 3:01 is too late.
• No posting under usernames similar to your own to decoy your competitors (the "Dr. Geek Rule").
• New Rule for 2010 onward: No making side-deals or alliances with your stalker/target such as agreeing not to kill them in return for a shield (the "Faberuben" rule, named after Fred's Brim and rbnlaw who used this strategy brilliantly last year)
• Remaining competitors cannot delete their own comments. Incidentally, we can see who deleted their own comments, so we can still score correctly, but it adds administrative tedium.
• Any player who does not comment in the Kill Thread by 3:00pm PT is eliminated.

The Initiator

• Because the first comment in a given thread cannot kill anyone, and thus one would be sacrificing their ability to kill if they commented first, whoever comments first is given a 2nd comment he/she can use to kill his target. This person is dubbed 'The Initiator' for that round, and his 2nd comment is called his 'kill comment'.
• The Initiator himself cannot be killed via his 'kill comment'. In other words, The Initiator's Stalker kills him by commenting immediately following The Initiator's initial comment, not his subsequent kill comment.
• Even if The Initiator is killed in a given round, he still gets his kill comment for that round and can try to take his Kill Target down with him (presumably out of spite).
• The Initiator's kill comment can shield others, but it cannot shield The Initiator himself.
• A new Initiator is determined each round by whoever comments first.

The Endgame

• Throughout the rounds, players are eliminated either by being killed by their Stalkers, or by failing to comment by 3pm.
• In addition to tracking who is eliminated, we will also track how many kills each player makes.
• Kills are only awarded for explicit kills. If someone is eliminated because they failed to comment by 3pm, their Stalker is not awarded a kill.
• If the last round eliminates all but 1 player, the game ends and that last player is declared the winner.
• If the last round eliminates all but 2 players, the game ends. Of the two remaining players, the one who has made the most kills throughout the game will be declared the winner (if they're tied, well, we'll cross that bridge if we get to it). Thus, to win the game, you cannot just sit back and hope others are eliminated via the 3pm rule.
• If the last round eliminates all players, the last one to die in that round wins.

Examples:
To illustrate, let's look at a few example scenarios with only 4 players. Here's Example 1:

Given this configuration, let's walk through the following sample Kill Thread:

• 9:30am - Player C comments - Because he commented first, C is The Initiator. He cannot kill anyone with this comment (as there is no preceding comment), but will has a 2nd comment (his 'kill comment') he can later use to kill his target.
• 1:00pm - D comments - This comment is harmless because it immediately follows C, and C is not D's target. And in fact, with his comment, D has just protected C from being eliminated that round.
• 2:15pm - B comments - This comment is also harmless because D is not B's target. B has just protected D from getting eliminated that round.
• 2:30pm - C comments - This comment is also harmless, and C has just protected B from getting eliminated that round.
• 3:00pm - B comments - Although B's comment immediately follows his target C, it is a harmless comment as well because it is B's 2nd comment, and only his 1st comment counts.
• 3:01pm - A comment - It is after 3pm, too late. A is eliminated, although nobody is credited with the kill.
• Result of Round: A is eliminated and removed from the circle, although nobody gets a kill. For the subsequent round, D's new target is B.

Example 2 (using same sample configuration):

• 9:30am - A comments - A is now The Initiator. He gets a 2nd comment he can use to kill his target.
• 2:00pm - B comments - This comment is harmless because it immediately followed A, and A is not B's target.
• 2:15pm - A comments - A, who is The Initiator, uses his kill comment. It immediately follows his target B, so A has eliminated B. A is credited with a kill.
• 2:30pm - D comments - D's comment immediately follows his target A. However it is harmless because it was A's kill comment, not his initial comment, and The Initiator can only be killed through his initial comment.
• 3:30pm - C comments - Although C's comment immediately followed his target D, it came too late (after 3pm), and thus C is eliminated, although nobody is credited with a kill.
• Result of Round: B and C are eliminated. Only two players remain, A and D, and A had more kills (1) than D (0), and is thus declared the winner.

In summary: It may seem complicated, but you really just need to remember 3 things: 1) comment in each day's Kill Thread on or before 3pm, 2) hope that your Stalker doesn't make a comment immediately after yours, and 3) try to comment immediately after your target so you can get credited with a kill, which you will eventually need to win the game.

Hey, we told you it was highly experimental. We do not guarantee the complete absence of rule loopholes, so please let us know if you think you see one (or if you have any questions in general). I expect the game to become self-explanatory after the first round or two. And just FYI, I'm a little scared of what I've gotten myself into administration-wise.

Anyhow, the game starts tomorrow with the first Kill Thread to be posted tomorrow, 9am PT!

Last Call!

So we have one last open spot for the upcoming SoSG Mystery Competition. First one to comment gets the spot.

Tomorrow I'll reveal what the competition is, and Tuesday it begins. Stay tuned. And here's who's filling the other 29 spots:

1. Fred’s Brim
2. rbnlaw
3. Dr. Geek
4. SoSG EK
5. J Steve
6. Loney Fan
7. QuadSevens
8. Mr. Customer
9. John G
10. Josh S
11. Dusty Baker
12. Gagne’s lucky glasses
13. Lauro
14. neeebs
15. karina
16. Wicks
17. Paul
18. Keven C
19. drewdez
20. Dusto
21. SoSG Orel
22. Matt
23. Danielle
24. SoSG Sax
25. djansson
26. MLASF
27. Felix Pardalis
28. UBragg
29. BruceAlmighty

Sign Up Here For More Ridiculousness!

...yup, we're at it again. We're now recruiting for the next great-but-highly experimental SoSG mystery competition. The details will be disclosed soon, but you need to sign up to play. So let us know in the comments if you want to participate, and once we have enough players we'll let you know what you've just signed up for (this one won't be too time-consuming).

But as usual, there are stringent entry requirements which will be strictly enforced, itemized here:

1. You must know how to post comments.

We need to keep out the riff-raff, so if you lack any of the above qualifications, don't bother signing up. NO EXCEPTIONS!

Note to AC, Delino, Orel, Sax, Pedro, & Lasorda: SoSG writers will have no advantage, so you guys are welcome to play too!