Better Watch Your Wallet, Charley Steiner

The Dodgers recently announced Steve Lyons would be returning the Dodgers' announcing booth for a third season, who will be helping Charley Steiner announce all Dodgers road games against non-NL West opponents. Vin Scully, by the way, is back for a 58th season as the "Voice of the Dodgers."

Lyons was fired by Fox during the ALCS last season after making strange (even if not outright racially insensitive) comments from the booth. Paired with a separate instance mocking a nearly blind man in the crowd, Lyons' remarks became grounds for firing from Fox. However, his dismissal apparently does not extend to Fox Prime Sports Net Ticket West or whatever the heck they call this channel now.

But I really don't care, as the main news from the same Dodgers press release was that the Dodgers are going HD, at least for all 50 of the games that KCAL 9 plans to televise in 2007. FSN Prime Ticket has not yet announced its HD schedule for the 100 games it plans to televise, but let's hope that they get as close to 100 HD games as humanly possible. My Time Warner DVR needs a workout this summer!

MLB.com Fearlessly Leaps Over the Shark

On MLB.com, amongst headlines about Bill Hall's re-signing and a preview of the Yankees next $200 million let down, sits this stirring, ground-breaking piece of journalism.

Pop vocalist Taylor Dayne, most recently involved in film and stage projects, showcases her powerful voice with new material and revisits the music that made her famous.

Luckily, the best site in baseball coverage marches on. And for real sports news without extensive dissertations on Tell it to My Heart, the Japanese MLB.com remains focused on the issues:

昨シーズン、新人ながら３５セーブを挙げたボストン・レッドソックスのジョン・パペルボン投手が、先発転向に合わせてピッチングスタイルをクローザー仕様から先発仕様に変えようとしている

Just Wondering

Is a man proposing to a woman in front of thousands of fans at a ballgame the equivalent of a wife having a threesome with her husband for his birthday?

AP Photo/Ted S. Warren

Magowan Seeks Giants Fans' Forgiveness (Yeah, Sure)

Can you imagine Frank McCourt sending an apology letter to Dodger season ticket holders? Even if you get past the concept that he would actually have to string a couple of complete sentences together (a fanciful notion indeed), the thought that he would apologize for, say, raising ticket prices 50% in two years, or greenlighting any possible trade with Tampa Bay, or screwing over all the people who forked out cash for the ill-fated Think Blue Rewards Club, is pretty unlikely.

But up north, that's exactly what Giants owner Peter Magowan did, as he recently sent out a letter to Giants season ticket holders, both apologizing and attempting to explain the singing of Barry Bonds for the 2007 season (a $16M-20M deal). Reports SI.com:

In the letter, which was confirmed by SI.com, Magowan wrote of the decision to re-sign Bonds: "This decision was not taken lightly and we spent significant time evaluating all of the elements and circumstances surrounding the negotiations before we made a final determination to move forward."

Magowan then referred to the Jan. 12 New York Daily News report that Bonds had tested positive for amphetamines and expressed concern about the report's contention that Bonds suggested teammate Mark Sweeney was involved.

Magowan wrote, "We consider any action by one player to unfairly damage the reputation of another player to be a serious matter. Based on the information that we have at hand in this matter and in discussions with both players, all of the facts have not been accurately portrayed. After evaluating the situation and its potential impact on clubhouse chemistry, we came to the conclusion that the Giants' players will be able to function as a team committed to supporting each other and dedicated to doing everything they can to succeed on the playing field."

Magowan explained the controversial signing in terms of long-range objectives and stressed that it's only a one-year deal. He wrote, "Additionally, we felt that with these assurances, signing Barry to a one-year contract helped us pursue a long-term strategy toward getting the club back on track. With his presence in our lineup and only a one-year contractual commitment, we were able to avoid the temptation to trade away some of our valuable young pitching talent and were able to free up long-range funds to acquire a front line pitcher. These decisions enabled us to sign Barry Zito, retain our promising and highly sought-after young pitchers and fill our need for a power hitter in the middle of our lineup. We believe that this combination of moves provides the Giants with a better chance of winning in 2007 and in the years ahead."

It isn't known whether the letter had any impact on Bonds' mood. But MLB people are still holding out hope Magowan has to write a new letter explaining why the deal is no longer.

I don't think Magowan has to worry about Bonds' mood, as the human balloon couldn't possibly get more surly. But I don't buy for a second that Magowan signed this deal reluctantly. After 14 seasons with the Giants, it's hard to claim ignorance. To paraphrase Denny Green, he is what you think he is.

Can't wait to see that "team chemistry" that Bonds has always been so great at cultivating.

Super Bowl Betting Woes: Part 2

Yeah, Delino lost. I guess that collar I was going to buy my dog that sprays water every time she barks... well, it'll have to wait until my annual Oscar bets. Just to recap my betting woes:

In the 4th quarter, Rex Grossman elected to make the bookies in Chicago very happy by throwing one of the least graceful-looking interceptions this side of Tecmo Bowl. It gets returned for a TD. That 7 point spread vanishes, as does my cash.

Devin Hester one-ups perenial Super Bowl stud Adam Vinateri by scoring first.

I don't even know who got the first sack, except he was wearing a Colts jersey. I don't even know who I picked to get the first sack, but it was supposed to be a Bear.

Peyton rushing for over 1.5 yards? A no-brainer! Well, his rush total was the exact same as mine. 0 yards.

But there's some hope to recoup. I succesfully picked Peyton's QB rating range, which paid out three to one. Somehow despite 179 first half yards, Peyton threw for under 275 total, which made me ecstatic. Until I realized that my f-ing bet didn't go through. Luckily, with only one Peyton TD pass, I'm in good shape if James Blunt's metrosexual smash You're Beautful nets more than a single Grammy. Now, onto my annual Golden Raspberry bet. Basic Instinct 2 is a LOCK. So sayeth Delino.

And You Thought Baseball Had a Weak Steroids Policy

From "Sources: Positive 'roids test to result in Pro Bowl ban" at ESPN.com:

Players who fail the NFL's substance abuse policy next season likely will be banned from playing in the 2008 Pro Bowl.

Sources tell ESPN's Chris Mortensen that commissioner Roger Goodell and NFL Players Association executive director Gene Upshaw have agreed to ban any player who tests positive for performance-enhancing drugs from playing in the Pro Bowl that same season. The policy would take effect beginning with the 2007 regular season.

Upshaw met Monday in Miami with player reps, who supported the ban, union and league sources told Mortensen. One more discussion is planned at the winter scouting combine in late February, with a formal announcement no later than March, Mortensen reported.

A ban also would have financial implications for some players, because some have Pro Bowl bonuses and base-pay escalators tied to the Pro Bowl that would be negatively affected.

Oh no! No free trip to Hawaii and minor financial implications! Put that syringe away!

Super timing on the release of this information, too. Expect more "football gets a free pass" arguments from the baseball crowd.

Best Super Bowl Ad

Only Two Betting Hours Left!

Thanks to somewhat legal sites like Bodog.com, one no longer needs to befriend the local underbelly to drop some dimes. Which is good for a borderline degenerate gambler like Delino. Over the years, I've managed to win repeatedly in Vegas while losing almost every other bet, including Kim Cattrall's nudity in an episode of the Whores in the City (she got naked, with seconds to spare) and when one friend would lose his Big V (I was off by three days... damn you Goldschlagger). But I think my bets on the Super Bowl this year would make Black Sox fixer Arnold Rothstein proud.

Going with the logic that even MVP QBs are muzzled a bit in the big game, I took the under for Mr. Manning's passing yards.

I hate that "You're Beautiful" rubbish, so felt it was a smart bet that James Blunt will win more Grammys than Peyton will get TDs (that's a REAL category).

I assumed that Tank Johnson would be too distracted impressing the nation's top defense attorneys to focus on sacking. So Adewale better throw Peyton down first, or my sack bet is lost.

I elected not to go with coin toss or official start time, but feel strongly that Vinatieri will do what he does best. Look for him to get the first points of the game.

Oh yeah...I'm taking the Bears with the points. But look for the Colts to win by four. So sayeth Delino.

And everybody's abuzz over the real Wild Card, the Artist Formerly Known as Relevant. Will he have a codpiece malfunction? I wouldn't worry. If you ignore the 1000's of conquests, the lyrics to "Cream," and 99 percent of the pictures he's taken, he's rather puritan. After all, he chooses to live in Minnesota. No, the real buzz is what songs will he play. Look for his new cover of the Foo Fighters' "The Best in You," some "Little Red Corvette," and all 43 minutes of Jethro Tull's "Thick as a Brick."

Jackie Robinson: Demythified?

Having bought into the mythology of Jackie Robinson recounted in Baseball: A Film by Ken Burns, I found "Seven things you might not know about Jackie Robinson" at 6-4-2 particularly interesting.

Following are the seven bullet points; click on the link for details:

1. There never was any agreement between Robinson and Branch Rickey to silence Robinson for the first two years.

2. Robinson's ascent to the majors wasn't considered newsworthy at the time.

3. Jackie Robinson was partly responsible for the creation of Dodgertown.

4. Robinson was also partly responsible for the Dodgers' move to Los Angeles.

5. Robinson had already decided to retire at the time he was traded.

6. He was a Republican and a supporter of Richard Nixon.

7. The side effects of diabetes got him.

The biggest surprise is hearing that the three-year (as I remember from the documentary) gentlemen's agreement between Robinson and Rickey was a piece of revisionist history. A more tentative initial relationship between the two would seem to undermine the premeditation of Rickey's decision to promote Robinson.

Similarly, the documentary examines the newsworthiness of this promotion by emphasizing Kenesaw Mountain Landis' fervent segregationist views, at least regarding baseball. On the other hand, according to the Washington Times article referenced by 6-4-2:

When Robinson broke into Organized Baseball with the Class AAA Montreal Royals a year earlier, not one of seven mainstream New York City newspapers sent a reporter across the river to Jersey City to cover the event. Nor, in that more socially restrictive time, was his major league debut considered a major news event....

For many black fans in the stands, however, Robinson was the man of the hour. Every time he came up, cries like "come on, Jackie -- we're with you, boy!" could be heard.

The issue is contextual; not newsworthy by the yardstick of "mainstream" (i.e., white) newspapers, but certainly significant to the disenfranchised.

(As an aside, while I have no doubt about the emotional devastation the Dodgers' move from Brooklyn to Los Angeles caused to a generation of New Yorkers, I wonder why only 6,702 people attended their last game at Ebbets Field. Could sentiment be outweighing the economic reality here?)

Also debunked is the famous notion that Robinson preferred to retire rather than play for the Giants—another lesson in never letting the truth get in the way of a good story?

In a 1997 interview with Charlie Rose, Jackie's widow Rachel said she was never able to talk to Jackie about death. Diabetes may be his cause of death on record, but who knows how many years Robinson lost to stress?

(Another aside: Rachel always refers to him as "Jack." Who started calling him "Jackie" and was it an attempt to make him more appealing to the general public?)

While not mentioned at 6-4-2, it seems appropriate to mention Robinson's supposed feud with Paul Robeson. From "Honoring Jackie Robinson" by Jabari Asim of the Washington Post:

[Robinson's] declaration of patriotism before the House Un-American Activities Committee in 1949 rebutted controversial remarks by the equally great singer-activist Paul Robeson, who had argued that it was "unthinkable that American Negroes would go to war on behalf of those who have oppressed us for generations." Robinson was vilified in some circles and denounced as a scoundrel who sold Robeson down the river.

Arnold Rampersad, author of the acclaimed "Jackie Robinson: A Biography," writes persuasively that Robinson "had no special desire to join a fight against Robeson." He argues that Robinson, himself a veteran, saw Robeson's remarks as an "implicit rebuke" to "black men from the American Revolution down to World War II" who "had struggled at every point for the right to be warriors in defense of the nation."

Robeson declined to take Robinson's testimony personally. "I have no quarrel with Jackie," he said. "I have a great deal of respect for him. He is entitled to his views. I feel that the House committee has insulted Jackie, it has insulted me, it has insulted the entire Negro race."

The more I learn about Jackie Robinson, the more incredible it seems that his major league debut was only 60 years ago. Two black head coaches in this year's Super Bowl? Definitely newsworthy.

And on the subject of pioneers, Tim Kurkjian at ESPN.com anticipates Hank Aaron returning to the spotlight as Barry Bonds closes in on his home run record.

Punch Him, Chewie!

Kashyyyk resident Chewbacca, shown here pitching for the InterGlobal Moon Pirates against the Red Sox (away game).

LAist: "Chewbacca Detained After Headbutt at Grauman's"

AP photo

Robles Shipped, Bigbie Equipped

The Dodgers' website reports that Oscar Robles is returning to the Mexican League, while Larry Bigbie has been invited to Spring Training camp.

Robles played with the Dodgers in 2005 and 2006, playing in 110 games in his first season (.272BA) but only 29 games last year (.152BA). He spent most of the year in Las Vegas with the 51's. Robles sounded pretty classy on the way out, saying "I just want to thank the Dodgers for giving me the chance to play in the Major Leagues."

Bigbie is known for spending time on the DL, having played spottily for the Orioles since coming up in 2001. He peaked in 2003 with a .303 batting average and 9 home runs, followed that up with a .280BA and 15 home runs in 2004, but then settled down around a .230BA, leading him to be dealt to the Rockies midway through 2005. He made some appearances with the Cardinals last year but only batted .240 with no HRs. Not exactly the power bat we were looking for, but what the heck, it's only an invitation.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Welcomes JD Drew to Boston

Wire reports indicate that the recent scare which shut down the city of Boston was not an terrorist threat, but rather just a guerrilla-marketing publicity campaign gone awry. Turner Broadcasting has already apologized for paralyzing the city on Wednesday of this week, as they had contracted a marketing firm to promote the new season of their cartoon show, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force."

After looking at the electronic light design in the ill-fated signs, however, I couldn't help but think the promotion was also the city's way of welcoming a former Dodger to town. Whoops!

As an aside, this is also the first time I realized that the ATHF character Err looks like the state of Utah with a faux-hawk.

UPDATE: Drew apparently isn't on the Red Sox roster yet, as they have to remove one of the 40 other guys to make room for him. And, get one of those nifty ATHF signs for Drew's new locker.

VORP 101

A good article for the statistically challenged around here, i.e., me:

Rob Neyer, ESPN.com: "The world according to VORP"

The REAL End to "Rocky Balboa"

EXCLUSIVE Interview with the Dodgers #1 Hater

A short time ago in a galaxy off I-95, my mom (DeMom DeShields) strayed from her usual QVC and Havanese browsing and found herself on the remarkably chic Sons of Steve Garvey. She called me on DePhone, furious that her only son (or daughter) would betray her by writing on a trial semi-regular basis for a Dodgers Blog. As none of you know, both my parents were born and bred in Brooklyn, so the Dodgers, drinking, and that one born-again "mistake" I made senior year were never discussed in the DeShiled DeHouse.

Until now.

DeMe: So, what's the root of your white hot rage of all things Dodgers (including Mike Piazza's beard of a wife).

DeMom: My friend Cece and I would root for the Yankees to irritate Danny Weitz, a Dodgers fan. They were bums, and they stunk. A lousy team.

DeMe: Any good memories about the Brooklyn Dodgers?

DeMom: No. We just liked tormenting Danny. But he was emotional. One time he came after us with a venetian blind. (Note: nobody was killed)

DeMe: Whatever happened to Ebbets Field.

DeMom: It became a housing project.

DeMe: Project. Like a Lego town?

DeMom: Why did I send you to (anonymous lower-tiered Ivy)?

People like my Dad were one-time fans who hated the Dodgers for leaving them. Oddly, my Mom never liked them, and despises the Dodgers more for going from Nathan’s-adjacent to Pink’s-tangential. She hasn’t spoken to Danny for several decades, but still roots for the Yankees. And like most Yankee fans, she doesn't know any players on that team. And has never seen them play live. But she knows what she hates. The Boys in Blue. And Rosie.

Beckham Brings Tall Tales to America

Todd Helton to Commit Suicide During Rockies Home Game?

From "Helton shifts focus to Rockies, winning" (AP/ESPN.com):

Helton said he's in top shape thanks to a revised offseason conditioning program and is eager to reaffirm his status as one of the game's elite hitters -- while in a Rockies uniform.

"I plan to die here," he said. "I like it here that much."

Helton said he thinks he can reach the postseason with the Rockies, who have developed several young hitters who are starting to establish themselves in the big leagues.

"I know my baseball life is going to close most likely within the next eight years," Helton said. "And the thing I want to experience more than anything is to win, and I'd prefer to experience that with the Rockies. I will do everything I can to bring the championship here."

I hope he doesn't do it. Todd has 141.5 million reasons why he should be alive.

Father of Red Sox GM Punks AP

From the AP article about Red Sox GM Theo Epstein's recent stealth wedding, the details of which turned out to be a hoax:

Epstein is known for keeping things quiet -- such has his successful bid for Japanese pitching star Daisuke Matsuzaka. He sneaked out of Fenway Park in a gorilla suit on Halloween 2005 when he quit his job for a few months.

Say what you want about Ned Colletti—at least the words "gorilla suit" do not appear in his bio.

Peyton Manning Wants to Melt Your Icy Heart

From a Sports Illustrated article about the Indianapolis Colts:

Manning was on his game even before kickoff on Sunday, as his mother, Olivia, attested outside the Colts' locker room afterward. Noting that she and her husband, former Saints quarterback Archie, were celebrating their 36th wedding anniversary, Olivia gestured toward Peyton's older brother, Cooper, and his younger brother, New York Giants quarterback Eli, standing nearby. "Only one of my boys remembered," Olivia said, pulling out her cellphone to reveal a text message sent at 2:58 p.m. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. I LOVE Y'ALL—PEYTON.

Ugh.

I prefer the quote from the mother of Travis Hafner, nicknamed "Pronk." From the same issue of Sports Illustrated:

Pronkey begat El Pronko, which begat Pronk. "I'm to the point where I like it better than Travis," [Hafner] says. "Everyone calls me Pronk." Well, not everyone. "The truth is, I hardly ever call him Pronk," says his mother, Bev. "I prefer the Pronkinator."

Wow! Watch Wolf Workout

From "Wolf's focus centered on being prepared" by Jayson Stark at ESPN.com:

LOS ANGELES -- The road to spring training is not a highway lined with palm trees.

The real road to spring training is long and lonely and (especially) sweaty.

When you throw baseballs for a living, the road to spring training begins in early November, when spring training still feels as if it's farther away than Uzbekistan.

It's a road lined with thousands of long tosses in an empty ballpark, with billions of crunches and stretches and exercise reps, with hours spent jogging or sprinting or both of the above.

This is a road that none of us civilians ever see. But the part of baseball we do get to see -- the part that goes on from February through October -- wouldn't be possible without it.

That's why there might not be a less sensible word in the whole English language than "offseason." Where's the "off" in it?

"There's really no offseason when it comes to baseball," says Dodgers pitcher Randy Wolf. "I think that's one thing that's really hard for people outside of it to understand."

Wolf used to play for Philadelphia. Isn't Koby Bryant from there?

Stark goes on to detail Wolf's off-season regimen, including:

Randy Wolf's typical offseason day
1-2 p.m.: Arm and abdominal exercises in home fitness room

2-3 p.m.: Catch and long-tossing at local high school

3-4 p.m.: Running -- alternating five-mile distance-run days with interval-sprint days

4-5 p.m.: Full body workout at local gym every other day

For the lazy and/or illiterate, there's—yes!—a highlight video of Wolf's four-hour offseason routine. Honey, grab some popcorn!

I, for one, am happy that when Randy's arm falls off, the rest of his body will be in prime physical shape.