Sunday, May 29, 2016

Utley Be His Name

A few times a year, Delino faces a dark Civil War within himself. Mets vs. Dodgers. Team of my Youth vs. Team of My Adulthood. And this is personified by one (in my best Alan Rickman voice) Person. Chase. UTLEY.

Long before he was in Dodgers blue, he applied dagger after dagger into the hearts of Mets sufferers everywhere. As a Dodgers fan, I wish he showed half the moxie reserved for the Mets against ANY OTHER TEAM. As a Mets fan, I wish him every form of groin injury one can imagine.

As if "THE SLIDE" wasn't enough. Or his very presence causing Thor to let loose his mighty hammer. Or the RBIs. Or the Home Rungs. Now there's this...

The New York Mets' majority owner, Fred Wilpon, has a reported net worth of $500 million. But on Saturday night, the Mets were not owned by a suit who made their profits from real estate development.

No, the Mets were owned by former Phillies second baseman and current Los Angelers Dodger Chase Utley.

At least according to the Mets' Wikipedia page.

Joey Zasa in Godfather III perfectly articulated my feelings about this Man

I wish the Dodgers all happiness... including the NL West and beyond.

What I wish for Utley I'd rather not put in writing.


QuadSevens said...

That is an excellent job of trolling right there!

spank said...

funny shit