Yup, Readers vs Sons III is gonna be a no-holds barred Yahtzee smack-down. So you better read up on the rules of traditional Yahtzee here. Then, start practicing (you'll need it).
Then, stay tuned to find out how SoSG Yahtzee differs from Normal-people Yahtzee. The games begin next Monday, but more details coming tomorrow...
Cliff Lee (12-9, 3.18) vs. David Price (19-6, 2.72).
COMMENTS: The bad news is, of course, the Dodgers aren't in the playoffs for the first time since 2007. The good news, however, is we've got baseball playoffs, and even if the Dodgers aren't in it, we can certainly root...for mid-day distractions. Exhibit 1 is this morning's Rangers-Rays game, to kick the whole 2010 MLB Playoffs off (get ready for some GT Scooby Doo-ing today).
Lee, almost a Dodger addition mid-season (scratch that--we really, really wanted Octavio Dotel instead), will pitch against an empty Tropicana field backdrop--a fact I'm sure Price will vociferously lament to both fans in attendance.
Found a stash of old ESPN the Magazine clippings I had torn out:
That’s what happens when a southpaw pairs a high-riding mid-90s fastball with a mid-80s slider that slips off the same plane. That combo has made lefthanded hitters especially queasy; they began the season 0-for-36 against Kuo. “You rarely see a good swing, an ‘Oh, he just missed that one,’ ” Martin says. “When he gives up a hit to a lefty, it’s like giving up a run.”
The key for Kuo is that slider, which he’s relying on even more despite four elbow operations over the past 10 years, including two Tommy John surgeries. He’s thrown the pitch 27% of the time in 2010, compared with 15.6% last year, when he had a 3.00 ERA. “I can throw my slider in any count,” says Kuo, who recently replaced struggling Jonathan Broxton as closer. “It’s tough for a hitter to guess if I’ll throw the slider. Because maybe a 95 mile per hour fastball comes out instead.”
In other words: You choose, you lose.Let’s be clear: Hong-Chih Kuo is not a lefty specialist. “We have no problem throwing him against anybody, lefties or righties,” explains Dodgers pitching coach Rick Honeycutt. Catcher Russell Martin has seen even the biggest boppers squirm when digging in on either side of the plate against the 6’1″, 240-pound southpaw from Taiwan. “Everybody’s uncomfortable,” he says, nodding at Kuo’s stats: a 1.45 ERA and 53 strikeouts in 43 1/3 innings.
It's still going to be a couple of days before SoSG turns into the land of the free and the home of the Braves (at least temporarily), to coincide with the late start of the Giants-Braves NLDS. But let's get Drew Magary over at Deadspin to prime the pump for a tidal wave of liquid vitriol (hat tip, Josh S.):
The Giants are the favorite team of Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, who spent decades on the radio in New York talking about what a big Giants fan he was, when no one in the tri-state area gave a shit about the Giants. Chris Russo is a horrible person who was born without descended testicles, and listening to him speak is like listening to a Jack Russell terrier that has a fucking lisp.
I don't know anyone who gives a shit about the Giants except for the ever-dwindling number of old and dying people who like to tell you that Willie Mays was the greatest five-tool player of all time. Since Bonds left, this team is about as interesting as watching a dick go limp. I don't think there are any actual Giants fans in San Francisco, a very dirty and overrated and smelly town with horrendous weather. I think there are people who occasionally go to Giants games in between chastising you for not eating food that's been locally sourced. If the Giants go to the World Series, no one will fucking care. They even played Anaheim in a seven-game Series a while back, with Bonds, and people STILL didn't give a shit. And people out there want you to believe that the Giants have some awesome rivalry with the Dodgers or something. Again, no one gives a shit. East Coast Bias is 100 percent for real and utterly justified because no one in the Central and Eastern time zones cares about two teams playing at 10 p.m. for the right to be crowned the best team in a state full of whiny, squash blossom-eating dipshits. San Francisco Giants (92-70, NL West Champs)
[Sax's note: Hey now, Meg Whitman said she didn't know it was an illegal, undocumented zucchini. Shame on you.]
Brian P: Is it obvious to everyone else just how fucking terrible the Giants are at an individual level? The knobgobblers at ESPN would have you believe the Giants have fucking beautiful locker room chemistry when in reality they're the douchiest, laziest fucks on the planet. It's like they all fucking agreed together to wear their uniforms as baggy as fucking possible in order to hide their hideous bitch-tits. I mean, seriously: Pablo Sandoval: fat fuck. Juan Uribe: fat fuck. It's absolutely insane that a major league baseball team has a 300-pound tit monster with frosted tips on his goatee playing shortstop.
Krista: The Crazy Crab was a mascot of the San Francisco Giants for the 1984 season. As opposed to other mascots, Crazy Crab was meant as an "anti-mascot", satirizing on the mascot craze that was going on at the time.
That is so fucking San Francisco: a goddamn hipster mascot.
Game 1 is only 54 short hours away, gents. And girls. And oysters.
The sight of a major league owner on the witness stand is nothing new around here. The city of Anaheim sued Angels owner Arte Moreno after he changed his team's name to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. In a 2006 trial, Moreno won.Frank unsuccessfully leaned on Commissioner Bud Selig to stop the name change. The topic still rankles Frank, apparently, given this exchange from one of his depositions in the divorce case:
Question: "City of Los Angeles has only one professional baseball team, correct?"
Frank: "Depends on how you define Anaheim."
Thanks to the crappy year that the Dodgers had and the Giants winning the pennant, I have now officially lost the bet with my co-worker and must wear a Giant shirt to work and bring him dinner. I was thinking of buying some Dodger dogs at Smart and Final, but does anyone else have any other suggestions for a main course?
Thanks to Duk of Yahoo! Sports' Big League Stew for letting us (and when I say us, I mean SoSG Orel) write the post-mortem on the 2010 Dodgers. You can find the link here. Nice job, Orel!
So the 2010 Dodgers' season is over. But at least we have a pending decision on the McCourts' divorce to which we can look forward!
(cries)
With the 2010 season officially over (at least for the Dodgers), it's time for Sons vs Readers, Round III. After 2 Rounds, the readers and their dainty little hands are 2-0:
Chapter I, following the 2008 season, was Connect Four:
Chapter II, after the 2009 season, was 3D Tic-Tac-Toe:
What will Round III be? I'm not saying that yet, but what I am saying is that the Sons are pissed. Down 2-0 in our own house, at our own game(s)? We have no choice but to go for the KO in Round III. Details coming soon...
Congrats to the NL West team that isn't the Dodgers, Padres, Rockies or D'backs! Braves in three.
Oh yeah, and David Eckstein went 0-for-3 to end the game--and the season--with a .267 batting average. So much for grit and intangibles and scrappiness, eh TIm Sullivan?
That's right, we can take two out of three against the Diamondbacks at home. Take that!
Matt Kemp hits his 28th HR, his fifth in five games (and another two-run shot); Andre Ethier goes 2-for-2 to end his season batting .291; and Brad Ausmus, who announced his retirement before the game, goes 2-for-4 with a double in his finale. Ted Lilly goes seven full innings with nine strikeouts, and Kenley Jansen and Hong-Chih Kuo shut the door on the Snakes. Here's hoping SoSG regular Dusty Baker, who was at the game, won the Hyundai Sonata.
Ted Lilly (9-12, 3.71) vs. Rodrigo Lopez (7-15, 5.03).
COMMENTS: Like a teetering opponent on Mortal Kombat waiting to be finished, the Dodgers enter today's final game of the season eagerly anticipating their dispatch for the winter break. And while the hearty Dodger fan might be heading out to the Stadium for Fan Appreciation Day, hoping to bag one of "15,000 giveaways and special prizes" (you know, like like a Dr. Phil Prize Basket or 4 tickets to the special "Petros and Money Show" at Medieval Times), most baseball fans will want to be close to a television or reliable wireless connection to keep tabs on the Padres @ Giants game (Mat Latos vs. Jonathan Sanchez), which could decide the NL playoff teams (the other important game, Phillies @ Braves (Cole Hamels vs. Tim Hudson), should be starting right about now, funk soul brother).
So enjoy Fan Appreciation Day if you're going to the Stadium, and enjoy Scoreboard Watching if you're not. Either way, the Dodgers' 2010 season comes to a full and complete stop today. And then, feel free to exit the freefall ride.
Jamey Carroll, given the managerial responsibilities tonight by a totally checked-out and drunk-on-Bigelow Tea Joe Torre, rode the arm of Chad Billingsley (7.1 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 9 Ks), and the bat of Matt Kemp (team-leading 27th, a two-run HR in the fifth, scoring Andre Ethier), not to mention the error of Chris Young (which gave Rod Barajas a triple; he later scored for the deciding run in the sixth). Man, that is one long sentence.
Admiral Ackbar gets the victory, and the rebel forces prevail. Cue the yub yub song!
Chad Billingsley (11-11, 3.61) vs. Joe Saunders (3-6, 4.40).
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COMMENTS: If the Dodgers wanted to win as much as you guys want Smonk, we'd be headed for the World Series!
COMMENTS: It's the last series of this regrettable 2010 season, and I, am, in misery. But sort of like Adam Levine getting abused by Anne Vyalitsyna, here I am, enjoying the fact that I'm back for at least one more GameThread. Ely, whose 2010 career trajectory matches the arc of the Dodgers' season, takes the mound to try and win the first of three games that we'd need to claw our way back to .500. Can you even believe that, after two straight postseason appearances, we're talking about holding out a glimmer of hope that we'll make it back to absolute mediocrity? Forgive me if I'm a little Kroenke. I'm going to go sit by the pool. Right, Anne?
So I want to ask Tim Sullivan of the San Diego Hyphenated Newspaper Name:
With the Padres needing a sweep to avoid missing the postseason, is it still true that the "Difference between Padres and Dodgers is life and death"? (published September 22):
Their ownership is being disputed in divorce court. Their manager is a lame duck. Their cleanup hitter, James Loney, has openly questioned their effort and barely provoked a shrug.
These are the kind of people the Padres want to be playing as the pennant race nears its finish line. You want to face a guy like Rafael Furcal, who led off the eighth inning Tuesday night with his team down by five runs, and promptly swung at the first pitch. You yearn for opponents who are mainly marking time during the decisive weeks of the baseball season.
You just can’t say it when you see it.
“You try not to worry about what the other team is doing,” Padres second baseman David Eckstein said Wednesday afternoon. “As soon as you start looking at that, that’s when you’re going to get beat. You can’t take anything for granted.” [...]LOS ANGELES — The Dodgers are a team in need of a toe tag. They look lifeless and they play dead.
Oh shit, Eckstein is quoted in the article's leadoff slot? Let me guess: the cliched "scrappiness" argument is right around the corner...Boom goes the dynamite.
If Eckstein is prone to overpraise his teammates, to see heroism in simply playing the game correctly, those values are at the core of the Padres’ success. Hitting the ball to the right side with no outs and a runner at second base should not be confused with diving on a live grenade, but it does involve a certain amount of statistical sacrifice.
Well put, Mr. Sullivan, making the military allusion with a team who often dresses like its fan base from nearby Camp Pendleton.
It is the kind of play that wins pennants.
We'll see about that, Timmy.
These Dodgers don’t have that much talent. Neither do these Padres. The difference is that one team plainly gives a damn.The rap on the Dodgers is that some of their most gifted players are more concerned with personal stats than they are with winning. This is a common affliction within the game, one that can sometimes be overcome if a team has enough talent.
78-84 or 90-72: we're still getting the exact same length of winter vacation, Tim. Because we're both in the same morgue.
Dodger backup catcher Brad Ausmus will manage the team in tonight's game against the Diamondbacks, thanks to a special gift from Bigelow-tea-sipping Joe Torre:
Although that sounds just like Joe Torre, it also sounds just like Brad Ausmus.
Ausmus, Ivy League educated at Dartmouth, will hitch on the tools of ignorance one last time when he starts the season finale for the Dodgers behind the plate, catching career game No. 1,938, seventh on the all-time list.
The club plans a pregame tribute to the former All-Star and three-time Gold Glove Award winner, but only if Ausmus can be talked out of warming up starting pitcher Ted Lilly in the bullpen, as he normally does. [...]
On almost any list of players most likely to become managers, Ausmus' name is up high. He will be at the controls of the Dodgers on Friday night -- as he was in a victory at the end of last season -- a fitting farewell gift from the outgoing manager. Torre traditionally designates a player as manager for the last game of the season, but he moved that up a few days because he wants to manage Sunday's finale.
"You knew how good Brad was as a catcher. But for me, it's all about the personality," Torre said. "From the time he stepped in the clubhouse, you could see the leadership ability. His personality is really terrific. He has the ability to manage, and I think he'll be interested in doing that. He's very bright. He reminds me of [Yankees manager Joe] Girardi, except a little less stiff, more relaxed."LOS ANGELES -- He's stepping aside Sunday, but a lot of people think he'll be managing in the big leagues soon.
Shoot, if all it takes to be a Dodger manager is to be 41 and relaxed, I may have a shot in a couple of years. In the meantime, congratulations Brad, and bring us a win tonight, please.
Guess this means I'm back on the Surfliner at least once a year:
Ultimately, Comic-Con International’s decision to stay, which will be announced Friday, hinged on detailed contracts negotiated with the 64 convention block hotels committing them to prescribed, discounted rates through 2015. Concerns had arisen in recent years that some local hotels took undue advantage of the enormously popular event by charging excessively high rates, especially in downtown where rooms sell out quickly during the four-day July confab.
Comic-Con’s current contract with San Diego’s convention center expires in 2012, which led organizers to begin looking elsewhere for the years 2013 to 2015.
In the end, San Diego proved to be a sentimental favorite for organizers of the convention, which debuted in 1970 as a relatively small gathering of devoted comic book fans.
“We’ve always had a desire to stay in San Diego, and we had three amazing proposals,” said Comic-Con spokesman David Glanzer. “It was obviously a very difficult decision, one born out by the amount of time it’s taken to make that decision. But in the end San Diego was able to address a lot of our concerns.Comic-Con, that whimsical show that for decades has been delivering costumed superheroes and Hollywood celebs to town, will be here five more years, ending months of speculation that San Diego’s largest convention might head north to Anaheim or Los Angeles where hotel rates are cheaper and exhibit space more plentiful.
I appreciate the sentimentality, but the fact of the matter is that Comic-Con had outgrown the small San Diego Convention Center and viable surrounding hotels. Los Angeles allegedly offered free convention space to try and woo the annual event, to no avail.
Stay classy, San Diego. At least for five more years.
