Off-Day Puzzle Grand Finale (#13): The Riddle

You've dealt with The Prophecy; now try your hand with The Riddle. And just FYI, I had originally penned an elaborate backstory involving the Sphinx, but after reading it back to myself I decided it was too ridiculous even by my standards. So here, free of any contrived set-up (and as a tribute to a favorite book from my youth), is today's Grand Finale Puzzle:

(click image to enlarge)

Puzzle Note: The answer to the riddle is a Dodger. And as usual, if you think you might have the right answer but are not sure, then you almost certainly do not have the right answer (or at least not the right reasoning).

Puzzle Rules: Comment freely in the thread, but if you have the solution, please don't give it away to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• Email us with the name of the Dodger player who is the answer, along with your reasoning (answers arrived at via luck or the wrong reasoning, even if correct, count for participation credit only). And please include your screen name somewhere in the email; and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt. I may not be able to reply to your original email promptly, so please do be patient and check back on the comment thread for the latest news; I will confirm correct answers there.

And remember, today's puzzle is worth 130 PCS Points vs the standard 100. Good luck!

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Hint #1 (9:02am PT): This isn't a word puzzle in the sense that the Nostradamus Prophecy puzzle was a word puzzle. In fact it's pretty dissimilar to any previous puzzle. And every line of the riddle is fairly significant.

Hint #2 (10:21am PT): I sort of envision this puzzle being solved in three stages. If we were to number the lines of the Riddle from 1 to 20 (i.e., the book quote would comprise lines 6 through 15), roughly but not exactly speaking, lines 1-4 apply to Stage I, lines 5-16 5-17 to Stage II, and lines 17-20 18-20 to Stage III.

Hint #3 (11:27am PT): Once you get Stage I, the rest should flow more easily. The key is to figure out who/what "the infant boys" are and what "crowd" they are scattered in. Anyone who visits this site is certainly familiar with the "crowd" and likely has seen one or more of the "infant boys" before (cryptic enough for ya?) There should be enough clues in the riddle (particularly lines 1, 2, and 3) to figure this part out, and once you do it'll all make sense.

Hint #4 (11:50am PT): The infant boys are not people, although they may have people in them.

Hint #5 (12:54pm PT): Maybe you should focus first on figuring out what "the crowd of 3,000" is. So to paraphrase the first 3 lines of the Riddle: what consists of approx 3,000 things (although I doubt anyone's counting...) that are no more than 2 years old (if you do the math it works out to about 4 or 5 'newborns' per day) and were begotten from "the minds of 7 grooms of 7 brides", and that visitors to this site would be familiar with? And forget that the ultimate answer is a Dodger - although that is true, it won't help you solve the puzzle.

Hint #6 (2:08pm PT): For those who have figured out what the crowd represents and are looking for the 10 infant boys (i.e., you are in Stage II), there are two separate sets of clues to help you here. One set is related to the book excerpt (you don't have to know anything about the book itself) and the other set is from the zodiac signs. But don't neglect lines 18-19 or even if you find the infant boys it won't mean anything to you.

Hint #7 (3:38pm PT): For those looking for the infant boys: Agatha can help you with the keywords

Hint #8 (3:38pm PT): Peer = click

Answer: Click here

Off-Day Puzzle #12: The Power of Five

With the Dodgers' magic number stuck at five going into the final week of baseball, the timing is opportune to bring up a (fictional) story of Joe Torre and Josh Rawitch, as Torre had a special shortened lineup to fill.

Torre had a unique situation in which he had to pick five Dodgers, past or present, to participate in a Dodgers community service event that involved them going to an all-girls high school. It wasn't a big commitment, just stand in front of the assembly in the school's multi-purpose room up on stage, and show a couple of game-typical maneuvers (like throwing, catching, and batting), and be done with the event in under two hours.

Torre toiled over this one for a while. Which Dodgers should he choose? These were the sort of lineup decisions that drove him (and Dodger fans) insane. Luckily, while procrastinating a bit, Torre found the the answer was right before him, as the puzzle strangely mentioned four Dodgers from past and present. Once he realized what these four Dodgers had in common, it was easy for him to decide the fifth and final Dodger needed to complete the group.

Unfortunately for Dodger VP of Public Relations Rawitch, who was trying to settle the details for this community service event, Torre wasn't able to tell him the five Dodgers he wanted to select. Instead, Torre left Rawitch the following crossword grid, with the following note scribbled in the margin:

Josh: This crossword grid reveals four of the five Dodgers that I have selected for my quintet. If you can complete this grid step by step, you'll figure out the theme the four Dodgers have in common, which should lead you to determine who the fifth Dodger must be. The fifth Dodger will fit the common theme, albeit a little differently from the other four, and as an extra hint, he's an outfielder. And, as one more hint to the theme that binds all four players and signals the fifth player, there are five blue squares which will anagram to an appropriate acronym.

Who is the fifth Dodger player that Torre has selected?

CLUES

ACROSS 1. Brooklyn Dodger 4. ______ Flux 8. Aid partner 12. Grow old 13. Chemistry term for "turning to the left" (obscure) 14. Granddaddy of Bowls 15. Chicken ____ King 16. Family 17. Social appointment 18. 411 20. Toy brick maker 22. _____ Now Or Never 24. Mai-____ 25. Preamble beginning 27. DODGER #1 31. Slow mover (no, not James Baldwin) 33. Poetic contraction 34. Though 36. Relaxation place 37. Eyelid tissues 40. DODGER #2 43. Radio wave 44. Abbreviation for "final" synonym (obscure) 46. Corn remainder 47. Implement 49. Sports award 52. Icky stuff from nose 55. Russian city 57. Slang for Native American territory (obscure) 59. Synonym for 1-across 60. Unit of land measure 61. Antlered animal 62. Robots took her medicine (see sidebar) 63. 365 days 64. To carry on

DOWN 1. Sheep sound 2. Tangelo variety 3. Average 4. Little Women author 5. Moray 6. Ellipse 7. Nine musical performers 8. DODGER #3 9. Snake 10. Extreme suffix 11. Golf accessory 19. Solve 21. Petrol 23. Chinese food sauce 25. Erase 26. Impetuous ardor 27. Test software version 28. 500 sheets of paper 29. Hockey's Bobby 30. Birth (maiden) name identifier 32. Gray 35. Sudden spasm 38. DODGER #4 39. UN labor group 41. What______ (in any way) 42. How I Met Your Mother network 45. Gecko type 48. Insects found in hair 50. Type of school 51. Scream 52. That girl 53. Neither partner 54. ___-Wan Kenobi 56. Pitching statistic 58. The heavens

Puzzle construction notes: As a warning, the crossword itself is almost as convoluted as my lead-in story (this is the first crossword I've ever constructed, and man! is it difficult to do!). There are a handful of reasonably obscure words which I've tried to indicate in the clues. Sorry about that. I can say that the payoff of theme is pretty good, so please hang in there if you're a crossword type of person and you're insulted by this admittedly weak attempt.

Puzzle rules: Comment freely in the thread, but if you have the solution, please don't give away the answer to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• Email us with the puzzle's two-word answer (full name of the fifth player, please), including your screen name somewhere in the email, and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt. Due to firewall issues, I may not be able to reply to your original email promptly, so please do be patient and check back on the comment thread for the latest news; I will confirm correct answers there.

Bonus! In addition to the prizes we're awarding to the Puzzle Championship Series (see the sidebar for top-five standings), we're also giving away a participation prize for this individual puzzle. Like our previous puzzles, all solution attempts submitted via email before the deadline--correct or not--will be entered into a pool (one entry per person regardless of number of submissions). From this pool, one name will be randomly selected in a transparent lottery. As long as the person drawn is willing to send us his/her mailing address, they will receive a wonderful Dodger-related prize item. As for this bonus prize...let's just say, you'll flip over it!

Deadline is midnight PT, and the solution will be posted at 12:01 AM tomorrow. Thanks, and good luck!

SoSG not responsible for items lost in the mail. Thanks to Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman LLP for its generous underwriting of this bonus participation prize.

HINT #1 (9.15a): The blue letters do not anagram to a word; rather, they anagram to an acronym. This is key to determining the link between the five players, if looking at the four alone in the grid isn't enough.

HINT #2 (11.40a): The names of the four Dodgers in the grid matter, but it is not relevant to examine the first letters of their last names. (It is also not relevant to examine the last letters of their first names; you're getting confused with something else.)

Off-Day Puzzle #11: Diagram of Love

Good morning, 24-hour puzzle people. Get ready for something a bit different today. And I hope you still have those scissors from this puzzle. Here goes...

Are you familiar with Venn Diagrams? If not, I suggest you get up to speed posthaste if you want to solve today's rompicapo. The Venn Diagram concept is really quite simple: it's a diagram composed of enclosed shapes (usually circles) each of which represents a different group. The circles and other objects are arranged such that all objects that fall within a given circle belong to the corresponding group. Circles may overlap, as long as anything falling within the overlapping portion of those circles fits both groups.

So, for example, if we have three circles labeled "Professional Athletes," "French Things," and "Starts With 'P'", the Venn Diagram might look like this:

Let's take a look at this, starting with the four objects within the circle labelled "French Things". 'Crêpes' falls only into the "French Things" circle, and thus its only requirement is that it be French. It is. 'Paris' falls into both the "French Things" circle and the "Starts With P" circle, and sure enough it is both French and starts with P. Likewise, 'Zinedine Zidane' is both French and a professional athlete, and thus falls into the overlapping portion of those two circles. And finally 'Tony Parker' is French, a professional athlete, and starts with P, fitting the theme of all three circles in which he falls. All the other circles are similarly filled out.

Why am I telling you this? Well, some of you may have noticed we at SoSG have a seemingly disproportionate amount of affection for certain things. Your task today is to construct a Venn Diagram based on five of those things we love from its pieces. First, here are the pieces:

(click images to enlarge)

So let me explain: There are five circles, each representing one of SoSG's great loves. Below that are 16 thumbnail photos, randomly arranged, which represent objects that fit one or more of those five circles. Your task is to fill out the answer panel on the right by both figuring out what the theme of each of the 5 circles is, and by matching each of the 16 spaces that are scattered among the circles with the appropriate thumbnail photo (A through P).

I've started you off with the first match: thumbnail 'A' goes in space '1'. The rest is all you. Good luck!

Puzzle Rules: Comment freely, but if you have the solution, please don't give away the answer to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• Email us your completed Answer Panel, with all 16 spaces matched to the correct thumbnail, and with the five circle themes correctly identified (please include your screen name somewhere in the email), and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt so I know to check our email.

FYI, there are 2 correct answers, depending on if you go clockwise or counter-clockwise around the diagram. Either is accepted. Deadline is midnight PT, and the solution will be posted sometime tomorrow. Thanks, and good luck to all!

Bonus! In addition to the prizes we're awarding to the Puzzle Championship Series, we're also giving away a participation prize for this individual puzzle. It works just like our previous puzzles: all solution attempts submitted via email before the deadline - correct or not - will be entered into a pool*. From this pool, one name will be randomly selected in a transparent lottery. As long as the person drawn is willing to send us his/her mailing address, they will receive a wonderful Dodger-related prize item.

*each name is entered only once, regardless of the number of solution attempts submitted

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Hint #1 (9:25am PT): It's not necessary to know the names of the people in thumbnails B, F, or M. But if you know any of their phone numbers, email us and you will be awarded 1,000 bonus puzzle points.

Update (1:27pm PT): So far only nine people have submitted attempts and eight have thus been entered into the participation lottery (Quad, Steve, Neeebs, Erin, Fanerman, Karina, Berko, and Loney Fan...Sax/Karros isn't eligible)!

Off-Day Puzzle #10: Holes Up The Middle

Any Dodger fan familiar with the 2008 Dodgers groans in agony when watching Jeff Kent fall over to one of his sides like a toppled tree, knees creaking like an old floorboard, as he tries to stop a grounder up the middle. [Editor's note: to be fair, this joke was a heck of a lot funnier before it was announced that Kent, who had been playing on torn cartilage for over a month, had what might be season-ending arthroscopic knee surgery on Tuesday. SoSG Sax has added funerals, along with birthday parties and barmitzvahs, to the list of events at which I can perform comedy.]

And the last time I saw Kent's helpless defensive attempt, while thinking to myself, "how can I live through this?", I suddenly realized that instead of lamenting a porous middle infield, I can instead utilize the deep vault of Dodger history to help solve the problems of today's team.

And that brings us to today's Off-Day Puzzle #10. Can you use the following 38 second basemen and shortstops, from Dodgers past and present, in order to fill the gaping hole in the center?

(click on image for larger view)

BERROA, Angel
CABRERA, Jolbert
CORA, Alex
DESHIELDS, Delino
DUNCAN, Mariano
ELSTER, Kevin
FALLON, George
FREY, Lonny
FURCAL, Rafael
GAGNE, Greg
GARCIAPARRA, Nomar
GILLIAM, Jim
GRIFFIN, Alfredo
GRUDZIELANEK, Mark
HERNANDEZ, Jose
HU, Chin-Lung (*)
IZTURIS, Cesar
KENT, Jeff
LAROCHE, Andy
LEFEBVRE, Jim
LOPES, Davey
MAGOON, George
MAZA, Luis
NEAL, Charlie
OFFERMAN, Jose
OLIVER, Nate
OZUNA, Pablo
REED, Jody
REESE, Pee Wee
ROBINSON, Jackie
ROCHELLI, Lou
RUSSELL, Bill
SAX, Steve
VIZCAINO, Jose
WILLS, Maury
WRIGHT, Glenn
YOUNG, Eric
ZIMMER, Don

Puzzle construction notes: Last names only. Also, Chin-Lung Hu has an asterisk not because of his amazing 73 HR single-season record, but because his location has already been identified in the grid (we want to make sure you found the right Hu).

Puzzle rules: Comment freely in the thread, but if you have the solution, please don't give away the answer to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• Email us with the puzzle's two-word answer (and please include your screen name somewhere in the email), and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt. Due to firewall issues, I may not be able to reply to your original email promptly, so please do be patient and check back on the comment thread for the latest news; I will confirm correct answers there.

Deadline is midnight PT, and the solution will be posted at 12:01 AM tomorrow. Thanks, and good luck!

Bonus! In addition to the prizes we're awarding to the Puzzle Championship Series, this particular puzzle, like Puzzle #9, also comes with a special bonus prize. But that's all I'm saying about the bonus prize; when you see the bonus clue, you'll know. Email us if you know what I'm talking about (no giant leaps necessary), and so long as the person whose name is drawn (from the list of correct bonus prize answer submitters) is willing to send us his/her mailing address, he/she will be eligible to receive a wonderful Dodger-related bonus prize item. (Just ask neeebs, it's fun for the whole family!) Good luck.

SoSG not responsible for items lost in the mail. Big props to P&A Magazine for the puzzle concept.

UPDATE #1 (11a PT): We have six correct answers, but no one has found the bonus...

UPDATE #2 (12:15a PT): Quadsevens has found the bonus! As such, I'm not going to hint on the bonus just yet. We have seven correct answers as well.

UPDATE #3 (3:45a PT): Steve also got the bonus! 10 correct answers, as well. Nice work, everyone...and there's still time left!

Off-Day Puzzle #9: The Lost Prophecy of Nostradamus

Happy Puzzle Day, folks! Here's today's casse-tête:

Premise: Five centuries ago, in a small town in the south of France, an infant was born to a grain dealer and his wife. From these modest beginnings, the infant grew into a boy, the boy into a man. That man would go on to author The Prophecies, a collection of over a thousand predictions divided into three volumes that today stand as the most widely renown works of their kind ever written. They have been credited by many as foretelling some of the most epic events in history, including the Great Fire of London, the French Revolution, the rise of Napoleon and Adolf Hitler, and both World Wars. The visionary of whom I speak is, of course, none other than Nostradamus.

Fast forward to last week at a rest stop off the New Jersey Turnpike. Upon reviewing the snack options offered by the stop's lone vending machine, I decided upon an inviting bag of Ranch-flavored Corn Nuts. As I fished through my pocket for some coins, a quarter escaped my grasp, and I ruefully watched as it dropped to the pavement and rolled under the machine. Reluctantly, I knelt down, rolled up my sleeve, and tentatively swept my hand under the machine, hoping it would quickly be met by the cold touch of metal.

To my surprise, my hand instead came across a weathered piece of paper. Curious, I picked up the document and looked it over, and despite its brevity (only one page), it soon became clear that I had stumbled upon Nostradamus' oft-rumored-but-never-located fourth volume of prophecies.

"Are you effin' kidding me?" I thought to myself. "Nostradamus' lost Prophecy right here in my hands?!?" Comprehending the magnitude of my discovery, I went straight to Kinko's to make photocopies. I also had the prophecy scanned to an electronic file despite the hefty $2.49-per-page cost (can you say 'rip-off'?) because I figured come-on, this is Nostra-freakin'-damus we're talking about. And hey, it was only one page.

So here, dear readers, is today's off-day puzzle, courtesy of the Great Nostradamus, with an assist from Kinko's:

(click on image to enlarge)

Question: To whom is Nostradamus referring when he writes of 'the Being' (and why)?

Puzzle Rules: Comment freely, but if you have the solution, please don't give away the answer to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• Email us your solution explanation (and please include your screen name somewhere in the email), and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt so I know to check our email.

And remember, the correct solution and the correct methodology must be submitted to receive full credit. Solutions arrived at through luck or incorrect methodology, even if correct, receive participation credit only. Deadline is midnight PT, and the solution will be posted sometime tomorrow. Thanks, and good luck to all!

Bonus! In addition to the prizes we're awarding to the Puzzle Championship Series, we're also giving away a participation prize for this individual puzzle. Here's how it works: All solution attempts submitted via email before the deadline - correct or not - will be entered into a pool*. From this pool, one name will be randomly selected in a manner both objective and transparent to be revealed later. As long as the person drawn is willing to send us his/her mailing address, they will receive a wonderful Dodger-related prize item.

*each name is entered only once, regardless of the number of solution attempts submitted

_______________________________________________

Hint #1 (9:08am PT): The prophecy is indeed solvable, and less open to subjective interpretation than most of Nostradamus' prophecies. The Being is indeed a Dodger, and keep in mind I created this puzzle approximately 2 months ago. Er, I mean Nostradamus did 500 years ago. You know what I mean. I hope.

Hint #2 (10:00am PT): Every line of the prophecy has some significance, although some are more important than others. There are several critical clues hidden throughout. If you locate them, put them together, and interpret them correctly, you will be 100% certain that you have the indisputably correct solution.

Hint #3 (10:51am PT): You won't need baseball-reference.com for this one. Stats or teams played on are irrelevant. As mentioned in the comments, someone who knows little about baseball could conceivably solve the puzzle, but it would be somewhat easier if he/she knew a bit about baseball/the Dodgers. And although every line has some level of importance, there is at least one major hint in each stanza.

Hint #4 (12:05pm PT): Don't try to necessarily match the literal meaning of the prophecy's words to the history or characteristics of a particular player - the solution is somewhat more abstract, but at the same the answer will be spelled out in no uncertain terms once you understand the prophecy.

Hint #5 (1:35pm PT): If I were to categorize each of the 12 lines of the prophecy as either more important ("A") or less important ("B"), they would go: B, A, B, A; B, A, B, A; B, A, A, B.

Warning (Not a Hint) (1:36pm PT): The solution, which will be posted tomorrow, is not for the faint of heart or easily frightened.

Hint #6 (2:00pm PT): Only the names of the players are relevant, nothing else about them matters.

Hint #7 (3:36pm PT): North = up, south = down, east = right, west = left. that may seem obvious, but it's important.

Hint #8 (5:57pm PT): When Orel wrote me an email saying "I'm rewriting it in MS Word," I suspected he was on the right track (although he hasn't yet solved it). How would that help, you ask? It's all in the Prophecy. Nostradamus was a deep if subtle guy.

Last Hint #9 (7:37pm PT): Here's an earlier draft that I, er, Nostradamus wrote. He ended up revising it at the urging of his editors after a series of consumer focus groups suggested it was not cryptic enough and could thus compromise his image:

Early Draft of Lost Prophecy

Ok, I'm going to sleep now. Good night, and good luck!

Solution: click here

Off-Day Puzzle #8: Ned Colletti Plays Matchmaker

Another off-day brings another puzzle for the SoSG masses. This time, in honor of Ned Colletti, it's all about matches. You see, Ned is like one of those chaperones at a high-school cotillion dance, making sure everyone has a partner. Ned hates seeing someone left out! As such, last offseason, Ned made sure Andruw Jones was matched with a $36M salary for the next two years. And the season before that, he made sure Juan Pierre was matched with a cushy $45M deal. But now, Ned needs your help finding matches, especially since one of them is someone that even Ned doesn't want (if that is indeed possible).

Each of the five images on page 1 has an appropriate match on page 2. Find the matches, and then find the one pair of images that Ned doesn't want. Then, tell us which pair of images is the one pair that Ned doesn't want, and why not (after all, it IS Ned Colletti here).

Rules: Once again, please feel free to post comments in the thread, but if you think you have the solution, please don't give away the answer to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• email us your solution explanation, and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt. Due to firewall issues, I may not be able to reply to your original email promptly, so please do be patient and check back on the comment thread for the latest news; I will confirm correct answers there.

HINT #1 (9.37a PT): Admittedly, this puzzle worked better prior to the trade deadline, when it was concocted. I got too lazy to revise the unwanted pair.

HINT #2 (10.35a PT): Strangely, one of the guys in this puzzle that Ned did end up wanting after all, was supposedly on the block in the final hour before the trade deadline. Luckily, we kept him (though sadly, we're not playing him).

HINT #3 (11:21a PT): Ned Colletti has been known to be a tinted cello.

HINT #4 (12.14p PT): On page 1, reading clockwise from the upper left, the images correspond with (8), (6), (5), (9), and (4). On page 2, reading clockwise from the top center, the images correspond with (4), (3), (6), (7), and (5). If you're stuck on one image, email me (and signal the email, please, in the comment thread).

HINT #5 (2:04p PT): In response to the emails, I suppose I should clarify that hint #4 refers to standard notation for word lengths. (Check comment #5 in that post for a link to that puzzle's solution.)

HINT #6 (4.54p PT) Yes, this is a wordplay puzzle. And just as a starting point, REINDEER does indeed match with HAT. Four pairs to go....

NOTE: I'll try to check email one last time this evening. Solution goes up at midnight!

Off-Day Puzzle #7: Scissor-time!

Happy puzzle day to all! Here's today's rompecabeza:

(click image to enlarge)

That's all I'm giving you for now, but check back here periodically, as I may post hints if needed. And remember, the correct solution and the correct methodology must be submitted to receive full credit. Solutions arrived at through luck or trial & error - even if correct - receive participation credit only (credit towards what, you ask? Credit towards this.)

Please comment freely, but if you think you have the solution, please don't give away the answer to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• Email us your solution explanation (and please include your screen name somewhere in the email), and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt so I know to check our email.

Please be patient if I'm unable to respond right away. Solutions accepted until 6am PT tomorrow, July 25. Thanks, and good luck to all!

Update: Please note that due to my schedule, the submission deadline has moved from 10am PT tomorrow to 6am PT tomorrow. Thanks.

Hint #1 (1:59pm): Baseball-reference.com might be helpful, but not for stats.

Hint #2 (3:24pm): I could not include either Mike Scioscia nor Jackie Robinson, as neither worked within the puzzle's methodology.

Hint #3 (4:37pm): Hmmm, let's see. Think about the path of each of the players' careers. If this were a Laker blog, I wouldn't be able to include Kobe Bryant. But Shaq I could, a few different ways.

Hint #4 (5:17pm): ...Kareem I could include, Magic no...Wilt yes, West no...Byron Scott yes, Worthy no...

Final Hint (5:30pm): Fred, Dan, or Kevin should be able to solve this one immediately.

Solution: Click here.

Off-Day Puzzle #6: Torre's Wacky Lineups

Now that you are recovering from your post-All-Star Game revelry, we've got to make sure that your brains are back in the swing of things. So here comes Off-Day Puzzle #6, and those of you detail-oriented folks will notice it's the first puzzle in the Puzzle Championship Series from an author other than SoSG Eric Karros (translation: keep expectations low). This go-round, you have yet another hypothetical situation on which to chew, this time involving our own beloved Matt Kemp.

Premise: Kemp enters the Dodger dugout early, showing up to batting practice so far in advance he even gets there before Juan Pierre. And as he walks by coach Torre's office, he sees his manager inside the office, finishing up the lineup card for that evening. Given Torre's penchant for crazy, illogical, and dare I say unsound lineups, Kemp expects to be surprised. However, Kemp has no idea how surprising today's conversation will be.

"Hey coach, where am I batting in tonight's lineup?" asks Kemp.

"Actually, Matty, I'm glad you are here early, before the rest of the team shows up," replies Torre. "You see, I've got some news to break to you."

"All right! Finally, I'm batting cleanup, instead of The 40-Year-Old Aversion! It's about time that you decided to replace that creaky old guy. Thanks, coach!"

"No, you're not batting fourth, Matt. I've got Russell slotted there, since he leads the team in batting average with a .294 (among active players who aren't pitchers)."

"Well, I've got to be third, then, right coach?"

"No, I've opted to put Andre Ethier there, given his team-leading 11 home runs and all."

"Okay, so you must have be back in leadoff, right? That makes sense, since I've got speed and power, you know."

"Actually, Matt, I've got Luis Maza there in the one-hole. I know it sounds crazy given his .228 average that he would slot leadoff, let alone any starting position, but I think this one makes sense."

"Maza? Hey, I'm about to go nuts here coach. At least tell me that the Tubbster Andruw Jones isn't still starting."

"Jones has the fifth slot in the lineup, Matt, and as you know I'm not letting Andruw give up his starting position despite the fact that he's horrible, he just had a five-strikeout day almost a week after a four-strikeout day, he's horrible, his batting average is a meager .164, and he's horrible. Oh, and he's horrible. But on this one, Ned Colletti totally agrees with me; Jones stays."

"That makes no sense. Don't you read the Dodger blogs? Jones continuing to have a starting role is suicide. You gotta get me in, coach."

"Why don't you take a seat, Matt, as this part is a tough thing to tell you. The fact is, I'm going with an unconventional lineup tonight. You already know four of the slots. But I'm shaking it all up and, along with Chan Ho Park, who is starting, I'm also batting Eric Stults in the starting lineup. And we've called up Scott Van Slyke from the Great Lakes Loons (A), and Jake New from the Gulf Coast League Dodgers (R), to slot them in as starters as well. I know it's a little strange, but I think I'm on to something here so I'm going to go with my gut on this one."

"I have to say, I don't get it coach. But I'm a team player so I'm willing to go with you. Just tell me what role to play, starting or not, and I'm there."

"Well, Matt, here's where the bad news comes. There just wasn't anyone in the organization--and I'm talking, the entire organization--who had what I was looking for to fill that last spot. So you've been traded straight up to the Florida Marlins. In exchange, we just picked up..."

For whom was Matt Kemp traded, and what slot will this new Dodger occupy in crazy Joe's new lineup?

HINTS:

HINT #1 (12.48p PT): Torre's ordering methodology for the nine spots has nothing to do with the offensive statistics of the players (just like in real life, I might add).

HINT #2 (1.20p PT): First step is to get the players' names aligned.

HINT #3 (2:00p PT): Torre used the All-Star break to visit with some advisers, some of whom also used to advise Nancy Reagan.

HINT #4 (2.33p PT): Technically speaking, whether Park deserved a spot was up for debate.

HINT #5 (3.00p PT): Kemp was keenly aware of the gravity of the situation, however he resisted his urge to drop his trousers and show his bare behind to Torre.

HINT #6 / FINAL HINT (5.04p PT): Torre bats Van Slyke second.

Rules: Once again, please feel free to post comments in the thread, but if you think you have the solution, please don't give away the answer to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• email us the answer to the question your solution explanation (person and lineup slot); and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt. Due to firewall issues, I may not be able to reply to your original email promptly, so please do be patient and check back on the comment thread for the latest news; I will confirm correct answers there.

Solution will post at midnight tonight. Good luck!

Off-Day Puzzle #5: Picking Teams, Part I

Another off-day means another seemingly non-sensical concoction from which logic and structure are to be drawn. It also means another chance to improve your PCS ranking. Here's today's puzzle:

Legend has it that in a place and time and for reasons unknown, eight former major leaguers got together to form a team. Nobody knows exactly how it came to be that this particular collection of players were there that day, but there they were. And what a varied collection it was: the group included long-deceased turn-of-the-century guys like Art Weaver, as well as steroid-era guys like Dave Berg. Hall-of-Famers like Red Faber were present, as were guys with 5 career at-bats like Fred Graf. Even Steve Sax showed up. Here's the full list of the eight that were there, in chronological order of their MLB debut:

Player	MLB Career
Art Weaver	1902-1908
Fred Graf	1913
Red Faber	1933
Ted Beard	1948-51,58-58
Ted Savage	1962-1971
Dave Edwards	1978-1982
Steve Sax	1981-1994
Dave Berg	1998-2004

And despite their differences, once the eclectic eight gathered, the chemistry among them was evident. They swapped stories about former teammates (a group that collectively included, among others, Roberto Clemente, Luis Aparicio, Shoeless Joe Jackson, and Tony Gwynn), compared the virtues and vices of their respective eras, and had a heated discussion about player salaries (suffice it to say that career bench-warmer Berg - with a little help from Sax - bought the beer). But finally they got down to the business of assigning positions.

As it turned out, the group was even compatible in that among the eight, their major league experience was such that they could each fill eight distinct positions, as follows:

But, of course, there are nine positions on a baseball team. How, the group wondered, would they fill the open first base spot? Just then they heard some rumbling in the nearby brush, and to their surprise, the following six rag-tag characters emerged:

Once the six newcomers see what is going on, they are each eager to fill the remaining position on the team (despite having no idea what baseball was). The eight ballplayers looked at one another skeptically, but realized that if they wanted to field a complete team, they had no choice but to pick one of the six newcomers. Since none of the six newbies had any baseball skills whatsoever, the ballplayers realized it was a matter of selecting the one who would be most compatible with them. That, dear readers, is the puzzle to be solved.

Which of the six newcomers would fit in best with the eight major leaguers?

  A) Solo
  B) Leia
  C) Luke
  D) Chewie
  E) R2D2
  F) C3PO

HINT #1 (10:04am PT): The group would pick Drew Brees over Peyton Manning or Tom Brady (if they were options).

HINT #2 (12:29pm PT): All the information you need is in the post. There's no need for external research on baseball-reference.com, wookieepedia.com, or anywhere else.

HINT #3 (12:46pm PT): Neither Fred Andrews (1976-1977) nor Al Mattern (1908-1912) would fit with the group, even if they played 1st base (this hint inspired by some of the wrong guesses).

HINT #4 (2:12pm PT): Years played and positions are irrelevant.

HINT #5 (2:50pm PT): Like many teams, this one would be happy with a 'left-handed' 1st baseman (no, this doesn't conflict with any other hint).

HINT #6 (4:41pm PT): Ok, one last hint, but this time I mean it. What's in a name? With this puzzle, everything. And I subtly altered Hint #5...

HINT #7 (5:49pm PT): Ok, this is the real last hint, I'm not messing around this time: Think about that in which reader Erin reigns supreme (granted, there may be several such things), and in it you will find a clue...

SOLUTION: click here.

Puzzle Note: Please comment freely, but if you think you have the solution, please don't give away the answer to everyone in the comments section. Instead, do the following:

• Email us your solution explanation, and
• Post a comment simply saying you have emailed your solution attempt (otherwise I probably won't check our email).

Solutions accepted until 11am PT July 15, no later. Thanks, and good luck!

Off-Day Puzzle #4: Loney to Meet His Maker?

Welcome to another off-day puzzle. For today's edition, you'll find below a short, fictional anecdote involving our favorite 1st baseman, James Loney. Please read it through carefully, use your imagination, and try to pick up on the clues that will help you help him escape harm!

Premise: Dodger 1st baseman James Loney (known as "King" James to beloved reader Karina, among others) lives amongst his family and friends in a safe, comfortable neighborhood on the south side of town. One evening he gets the munchies and ill-advisedly decides to head to the dangerous north side of town (perhaps in search of a White Castle?). Dressed in his freshly-pressed home whites, James sets out on foot. Unfortunately, his travels soon take him through unfamiliar territory, and he eventually finds himself in an open and seemingly deserted field. He anxiously trudges on but does not know in which direction to head. He is lost and alone on the north side of town, and nightfall is quickly approaching.

James then hears footsteps in the distance. He looks around and notices four men each several yards away in different directions. All four are clearly watching him, and seem to be slowly moving closer. James tries to retain his cool. He quickens his pace but refrains from running, and discreetly observes his pursuers, nervously glancing at each.

The first thing James notices about them is that while the four men are following him, each seems to be moving in a distinct and indirect path toward him. James then notices that each is carrying a baseball bat. Not a good sign. Then, as the men inch closer, he realizes something else: each man is wearing the hideous alternate home uniform of the arch-rival Giants. Hmmm...very strange, and definitely bad news. It then dawns on him - each man is a former Giants player! He recognizes the four thugs as:

• Rich Robertson, SF Giants '66-'71;
• Bob Knepper, SF Giants '76-'80,'89-'90;
• Luis Quiñones, SF Giants '86;
• John Patterson, SF Giants '92-'95;

This realization only increases James' fear. He continues his way through the field but before he knows it, the four men have surrounded him and have closed to within arms' length, one at each corner. They are clearly intent on doing him serious harm. James knows he is in mortal danger, particularly when both Patterson and Quiñones raise their bats to strike him down...

Here is a visual representation of James' situation:

Question: Loney must act immediately or likely face an untimely death. His options are:

    A) Run north, between Patterson and Quiñones;
    B) Run south, between Robertson and Knepper;
    C) Run east, between Knepper and Quiñones;
    D) Run west, between Robertson and Patterson;
    E) Attack Patterson;
    F) Attack Knepper;
    G) Attack Quiñones;
    H) Attack Robertson;

What should James do?

Note: Hints available upon request. And as always, if you think you might have the solution but aren't sure, it means you probably don't have the solution. Enjoy!

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UPDATES:

Hint #1 (11:43am PT): I chose those four ex-Giants for a specific reason, but not related to their positions played, years played, and/or stats. You won't need www.baseball-reference.com to solve this one.

Hints #2 & 3 (1:08pm PT): Technically, the existence of the compass is not required to pick the right answer, but it should help you verify that your reasoning is correct. And there's a reason I picked King James to be the protagonist rather than another Dodger.

Hint #4 (2:16pm PT): You don't have to research anything about the players involved, but you do have to think outside the boxes.

Solution: See here.

Additional Note: As mentioned, if you solve the puzzle correctly, you will be certain of it. If so, please don't post the explanation and spoil it for the rest...please instead post that you think you solved it and send us an email with your reasoning. Thanks!

Off-Day Puzzle #3: Help Kershaw Apartment Hunt

Today's off-day puzzle contains no hidden message nor will beget any fancy-shmancy, animated solution. For this one you'll find the ability to use your imagination more useful than pencil or paper. Just ingest the hypothetical situation presented below and see if you can figure out the conclusion.

Premise: Young Clayton Kershaw, having recently moved to Southern California upon establishing himself as the Dodgers' 5th starter, is looking for a place to live. He's seen a number of properties and has whittled his short list down to four apartment complexes, each of which has one unit available for rent. And this being LA, it turns out there are actors living in each of the 4 complexes, as follows:

Complex A Tenants:
Barry Williams
Dustin Hoffman
Michael O'Keefe
Raul Julia

Complex B Tenants:
Harvey Keitel
Bill Paxton
Denis Leary
Christian Bale

Complex C Tenants:
Ted Levine
Macaulay Culkin
James Spader
Billy Zane

Complex D Tenants:
Robert Wagner
Gabriel Macht
Chow Yun-Fat
Jason Patric

Kershaw has done his due diligence and has concluded that each of the 4 complexes and available units are roughly the same cost and value, and that each is in an equally attractive location. And while the current tenants of each complex all seem friendly and respectful of their neighbors, he is not sure with which group he will best get along with.

Question: With which group of Thespians should Kershaw choose to live amongst?

Starter Hint: If you think you might have the answer but aren't sure, then you don't have the answer.

_______________________________________________________

UPDATES:

Random Aside (9:56am PT): Macaulay Culkin has been dating "Person A" in this post since 2002. But that's irrelevant to this puzzle. In fact it's a whole separate puzzle I don't think any of us are going to figure out...

Hint #1 (11:04am PT): You don't have to know anything about Hollywood to solve the puzzle, but you do have to know something about baseball.

Hint #2 (1:25pm PT): No thoughts? Everybody must be either watching the US Open or actually working. Anyhow, here's another hint: The fact I chose Kershaw, the Dodgers' fifth starter, to be the protagonist as opposed to any other Dodger is not irrelevant.

Hint #3 (4:08pm PT): There'd have been a fifth apartment complex in the puzzle - as there technically should be - were it not for the unusually-named Ubaldo Jimenez.

Answer: Here

Off-Day Puzzle #2: Magic Message

There's no better way to spend a Dodger off-day than working on an SoSG puzzle - and I've teed up a good one for you today! Untangle the cryptic image below and you'll be rewarded with a magic message which, once fulfilled, will solve all the Dodgers' problems and guarantee them their first World Series Title in 20 years (what's Monday without a little hyperbole?).

(click image to enlarge)

While I won't provide any specific instructions on how to solve it - that would defeat the purpose now, wouldn't it? - I will leave you with these initial thoughts:
  1) Printing out the image might help you work towards a solution.
  2) If you don't have a color printer, find some other way to indicate the players in red, as color does matter.
  3) It's not a "word-play" puzzle.

Good luck!

UPDATES:

Hint #1 (11:00am PT): Think along the lines of a popular children's activity/puzzle.

Hint #2 (11:05am PT): Think 'Dodger Power Rankings'.

Hint #3 (1:15pm PT): It's a dot-to-dot variant for which baseball-reference.com might come in handy...

Hint #4 (3:51pm PT): It basically is a dot-to-dot. And see Hint #2.

Solution: See here.

Plants Are To Carbon Dioxide As SoSG Is To My Time

Here's an SAT question for you (there really is a deducible answer):

Question:
Hiroki Kuroda is to Japan;
   as Geronimo Gil is to Mexico City;
      as Yoda is to Dagobah;
         as Chewbacca is to _________?

Choices:
   a) Panama
   b) Senegal
   c) Switzerland
   d) United Arab Emirates

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UPDATE (11am PST):

Still no thoughts? Yoda is looking disappointed...

HINT #1: No knowledge of any of the people or places mentioned is needed to answer correctly.

HINT #2: If you have the right answer, you will know it.

HINT #3 (12:38pm PST): Re-reading this post might indirectly help.

Update (3:15pm PST): Orel and quadsevens both correctly figured it out (it's c). Answer explained here.