Matt Kemp's Chest Says Hi

From Matt Kemp's Twitter:

Dodgers Dominate in Worst Contracts of the New Millennium

In a piece for Big League Stew, Jeff Passan of Yahoo! Sports has compiled a list of the worst MLB contracts of the past ten years. Turns out the Dodgers can dominate more than just the NL West:

The 10 worst baseball contracts of the 2000s (Big League Stew)

And Juan Pierre didn't even make the cut! Tough crowd.

A Visual Ode to FvD: RI-C

Flo vs Deltalina: Round I-C Begins!

Here again are the rules. Please note all rounds occur in this thread.

Completed Rounds:

        8:55am PT: Flo 83, Deltalina 57
        9:55am PT: Deltalina 96, Flo 86
        11:05am PT: Deltalina 84, Flo 79
        12:45pm PT: Deltalina 92, Flo 61
        2:55pm PT: Flo 64, Deltalina 47

Game Notes:

• Please try to keep to the commenting convention indicated in the rules, but yes, I will accept any comment that was obviously intended as part of the game. Team Flo took Round 1 either way.
• Deltalina steps up their game BIG-TIME in 2nd round! Tied 1-1 going into 3rd round...
• Deltalina wins the the 4th magic minute and thus Round I-C and thus moves on to Round 2! More coming...
• Flo wins the garbage round, but Deltalina had benched their starters. I've been very busy today, but more info coming Monday!

Dodgers to Be Winter Wallflowers

...but at least Chad Billingsley isn't going anywhere. From "Dodgers likely to be patient at Meetings" by Ken Gurnick at Dodgers.com:

[Ned] Colletti again shot down speculation that the Dodgers either want, or are willing, to move Billingsley.

"I can't trade him," Colletti said. "Where do you find another one? I need more, not less."

The Hot Stove is going to be is going to be powered by a can of Sterno this year. To see how the Dodgers are faring, keep your eyes on what the rest of the division does.

UPDATE: Still, holes need to be filled. Here's an indication of the level the Dodgers are operating at (all links from MLBTR):

• Giants, Dodgers Pursuing Brad Ausmus
• Eight Teams Interested In Carroll
• Pirates, Dodgers, Braves, A's After Kameron Loe

UPDATE: More MLBTR speculation:

• Dodgers In Discussions With Luis Ayala

and an older item:

• Multiple Teams Interested In Noah Lowry

Frank-n-Tiger

I like to call this one "Happier Times." But who's that fellow lurking in the left-hand corner?

Frank-n-Tiger. No, it's not Wienerschnitzel's delicious new Clemson-themed offering. And it's not Sinatra eating Frosted Flakes for breakfast. Instead, it's the late-2009 phenomenon of alpha-male, upper-class trainwreck behavior that we have to thank for keeping things in perspective.

"Comparison is the root of all unhappiness," said a wise man who probably didn't get a Big Wheel (with Power Brake!) as a kid. But sometimes a guy can't help but wish he were (allegedly) worth $835 million and owner of one of the finest franchises in baseball, or a groundbreaking young professional athlete with a net worth approaching $1 billion with a Swedish model wife.

Frank McCourt and Tiger Woods have shown us that education, wealth and fame won't necessarily protect a guy from poor judgment. McCourt, the self-proclaimed "steward" of the Dodgers, came to Los Angeles on a sour note when his purchase of the Dodgers precluded the signing of Vladimir Guerrero.

Despite multiple PR-related misfires (including raising parking to $15), McCourt actually made some good moves, maintaining a player payroll of at least $100 million for the past three seasons and resisting the urge to rename Dodger Stadium while planning to expand the grounds around it.

However, McCourt's latest fumble, his step-over-a-dollar-to-pick-up-a-dime strategy, serves de facto notice that his personal situation has taken precedence over the long-term welfare of the team. Quality players on the 2010 Dodgers or first-round draft picks: How could you go wrong? Yet the Dodgers opted to forgo both options, apparently out of fear of increasing payroll or forking over signing bonuses. (Don't play the lottery, Frank — you might have to pay taxes on those winnings!)

Even the cash-strapped Rangers and reduction-mode Tigers offered arbitration to some of their players. While McCourt may not have specifically ordered Ned Colletti to withhold offers of arbitration to eligible players — Dennis Mannion is running the Dodgers on a daily basis, according to T.J. Simers — it is impossible not to make a connection between McCourt's divorce proceedings and the Dodgers' continuing penury. (Recall Colletti's efforts to keep the 2008 acquisitions of Manny Ramirez and Casey Blake revenue-neutral, costing the Dodgers super-prospect Carlos Santana.)

A lack of funds is definitely not one of Tiger's problems, but no amount of money can undo the developing stories of his alleged infidelities: Rachel Uchitel (whose surname would suggest she's the heiress to some Japanese phone company), Jaimee Grubbs ("you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you..."), Kalika Moquin (Mele Kalikimaka?)...while Tiger releases vague statement after vague statement. You're making us mortal dudes look pretty good, Tiger.

As for the privacy Tiger is pleading for, forget it. That's simply the price paid by someone who makes a living — a very, very good living — in the public sector. Just ask fellow TMZ front-pagers Frank and Jamie.

Of course, these dramas are far from over, and the possibility of redemption exists. The Dodgers' homegrown core of youngsters could bring the team its third consecutive playoff appearance (which would be a first in franchise history), and Tiger could win his way back to relevance (see Bryant, Kobe).

But the point remains: Go ahead and make your mistakes; just don't think that loads of money or talent would have prevented you from doing so. And remember to thank Frank-n-Tiger — for being rich, and powerful...and human.

top photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images; tiger photo by Roger Hooper

Flo vs Deltalina: Round I-C Rules

Team Flo completely waxed Team Deltalina in Round I-B after being the waxee in Round I-A. So it all comes down to Round I-C. Here are the rules:

• Tomorrow at 8am PT, a post titled "Flo vs Deltalina: Round I-C" will appear.
• There are five 'magic minutes' in your day during which you must clear out your calendar: 8:55am, 9:55am, 11:05am, 12:45pm, and 2:55pm (all times PT).
• During each of these magic minutes, the object is simple: comment in the thread as many times as possible.
• For each magic minute, the total number of comments made by a Team Flo member will be tabulated. The same with Team Deltalina.
• Whichever team has more comments wins that magic minute. Whichever team wins more magic minutes wins the round.
• Your comment MUST abide by only one rule: it must be (or begin with) the letter 'F' or 'D', depending if you are on 'F'lo or 'D'eltalina. If for some reason you want to comment more than the single letter, that is ok, but the 'F' or 'D' must be followed by a space before continuing with the rest of your comment.
• Capital or lower case is accepted, but if your comment does not follow the above convention it will not count.

One additional tidbit of information: All 14 members of the winning team will advance as well as 2 "wildcard" members of the losing team. The 2 wildcards will be chosen based on individual performance - I'm working on an objective way to gauge this, so stay tuned.

Got it? So clear out your calendars, and good luck. Remember, (most of) the losing team goes home!

Flo vs Deltalina, Round I-B Begins!

Let 'er rip!

Review of the pair sequence:

1F. Josh S & Drewdez

2D. Fred's Brim & Bryan

3F. QuadSevens & Matthew

4D. rbnlaw & Steve Dittmore

5F. w.d.d.i.m. & Keven C

6D. Scott & Matt

7F. Dunkhawk & Felix Pardalis

8D. Wicks & TD

9F. Dr Geek & John G

10D. Greg & djansson

11F. Mr Customer & MattyA

12D. Fanerman & Jason

13F. Neeebs & MLASF

14D. J Steve & Dusty Baker

And see rules here. One additional note: if possible, please prefix your comment with your Pair Number (i.e., Josh S might comment: "1F - passing the hot potato to FB & Bryan!"). Not required, but it makes it easier to track.

Don't get caught with the hot potato!

UPDATE: Team Flo wins Round 1-B by score of 5-0. The shutout! Congrats. Rules for deciding Round I-C post tomorrow at 8am PT. The round itself will take place Friday.

FvD Round I-B: Checkpoint 4

See rules here. This one's worth 2 points!

FvD Round I-B: Checkpoint 3

Flo: 3, Deltalina: 0

FvD Round I-B: Checkpoint 2

See rules here.

8D (wicks & TD) caught in crossfire again!

Team Flo: 2, Team Deltalina: 0

FvD Round I-B: Checkpoint 1

Who got caught on deck?!?

UPDATE: 8D (wicks & TD) caught in crossfire. Team Flo: 1, Team Deltalina: 0

More Reality Show Hijinks at Dodger Stadium

The Kardashians, Whitney Port and Carl's Jr. temptress Audrina Patridge weren't the only reality folk at Dodger Stadium last season. Remember when Junior Seau played batboy for a day? Turns out it was for his new reality show (shock!):

(His Dodgers stint starts at 4:21 in the video.) Sports Jobs with Junior Seau premieres tonight on Versus at 10 p.m., with the Dodgers episode at 10:30 p.m.

Flo vs Deltalina Round I-B Rules

Congrats to Team Deltalina for their victory in Round I-A! Team Flo better muster up a victory in Sub-Round I-B.

1F. Josh S & Drewdez

2D. Fred's Brim & Bryan

3F. QuadSevens & Matthew

4D. rbnlaw & Steve Dittmore

5F. w.d.d.i.m. & Keven C

6D. Scott & Matt

7F. Dunkhawk & Felix Pardalis

8D. Wicks & TD

9F. Dr Geek & John G

10D. Greg & djansson

11F. Mr Customer & MattyA

12D. Fanerman & Jason

13F. Neeebs & MLASF

14D. J Steve & Dusty Baker

Now buckle up for Round I-B, starting tomorrow. It's basically a game of hot potato. Here are the rules:

• Tomorrow at 9am PT, a post will appear titled "Flo vs Deltalina, Round I-B Begins!"
• You will see above you are paired with another player on your team, with a total of 7 pairs per team.
• Each pair is numbered 1-14 and in sequence (the letter F or D merely indicates Flo or Deltalina).
• The pairs must comment in sequence. Pair 1F must comment first. Either player in the pair - Josh S or Drewdez - may comment. It is not necessary for both players to comment. As soon as either one comments, it is Pair 2D's turn to comment.
• Again, either player in pair 2D - Fred's Brim or Bryan - must comment. Once one of them does, the 'hot potato' goes to Pair 3F, and so on.
• At four subsequent, unannounced-but-already-determined times between 9am and 5pm, four additional posts will appear titled "FvD Round I-B: Checkpoint X," where X is a number 1 through 4.
• At each of the four "Checkpoint" post, which have already been scheduled (i.e., this game is completely unbiased), whoever's turn it is to comment gets penalized by having the other team get a point. Basically you don't want to get caught with the hot potato when the Checkpoint posts appear. Two examples:
  • If the "Checkpoint 1" post appears at 10:00am, and pair 2D had posted at 9:55am, followed by Pair 3F at 10:03am, Team Deltalina would score a point because when the Checkpoint 1 post appeared at 10am, it was Pair 3F's turn to comment.
  • If the "Checkpoint 1" post appears at 10:00am, and pair D2 had posted at 9:59am, followed by Pair F3 also at 9:59am, followed by Pair D4 at 10:00am, Team Flo would score the point because Pair F3 was the last to comment (and thus Pair D4 was caught on deck).
• All Checkpoints are worth 1 point except Checkpoint 4, which is worth 2 points.
• As always, comments are welcome at anytime, but only comments made in turn count towards the game.
• If one pair falls asleep and never responds when their turn comes up, after an hour any other member of that team can swoop in with a comment to pass the hot potato to the next pair in the sequence.
• If the sequence gets down to the last pair (14D), the sequence kicks back up to the first Pair 1F.
• Once the fourth checkpoint is posted, whichever team has the most points wins!
• Just FYI - the Checkpoint posts will have comments disabled just to avoid confusion of people commenting in the wrong thread.

Until tomorrow at 9am, rest up!

News Roundup

• It's going to be a long winter. Dylan Hernandez of the LA Times tweets:

  The Dodgers aren't offering arbitration to any of their free agents, according to team spokesman Josh Rawitch.

  and

  Among the FAs not offered arb by the Dodgers are Type A FAs Wolf and Hudson, and Type Bs Belliard, Garland, Mota, Ohman and Padilla.

• The good news? Vin Scully is official for 2010 (Dodgers.com).
• In the SoSG realm, Team Deltalina currently leads has pounded Team Flo by four seven (!) players.

Flo vs Deltalina, Round I-A Begins!

And they're off!

Here are the batting orders once again:

Team Flo	Team Deltalina
1. Josh S	1. Fred's Brim
2. QuadSevens	2. rbnlaw
3. w.d.d.i.m.	3. Scott
4. Dunkhawk	4. Wicks
5. Dr Geek	5. Greg
6. Mr Customer	6. Fanerman
7. Neeebs	7. J Steve
8. MLASF	8. Dusty Baker
9. MattyA	9. Jason
10. John G	10. djansson
11. Felix Pardalis	11. TD
12. Keven C	12. Matt
13. Matthew	13. Steve Dittmore
14. Drewdez	14. Bryan

And here are the rules. One rule addition/clarification: if two consecutive people on a team are AWOL, the person following those two can comment after waiting 2 hours.

Get to it!

Congrats, Sportsjeter of the Year

We tease Derek Jeter a lot here, but he comes off as a pretty classy guy in this interview with Tom Verducci.

Ugly Hats, Miscolored Jerseys On Sale Today Only

Someone needs to tell those guys at MLB.com that Cyber Monday does not mean "selling clothing articles that Goodwill stores would be ashamed to accept".

Still, if you're interested in puke-green jerseys or Phillies hats with broken shards of glass (evocative of Philadelphia's frequent looting sprees), this 20% off sale is for you. Sale ends at 9p PT.

Flo vs Deltalina: Round I-A Rules

Team Flo	Team Deltalina
1. Josh S	1. Fred's Brim
2. QuadSevens	2. rbnlaw
3. w.d.d.i.m.	3. Scott
4. Dunkhawk	4. Wicks
5. Dr Geek	5. Greg
6. Mr Customer	6. Fanerman
7. Neeebs	7. J Steve
8. MLASF	8. Dusty Baker
9. MattyA	9. Jason
10. John G	10. djansson
11. Felix Pardalis	11. TD
12. Keven C	12. Matt
13. Matthew	13. Steve Dittmore
14. Drewdez	14. Bryan

Welcome to FvD, Round I, Sub-Round A. Here are the rules:

• Tomorrow, sometime between 8am and 12noon PT, we will post a thread titled "Flo vs Deltalina: Round I-A Begins!".
• When you see this, the members of each team must comment in the batting orders indicated above (which is the sequence in which you each signed up to participate).
• The first team to get through their lineup wins the round.
• Comments out of sequence are welcome, but do not count. For example, w.d.d.i.m. is welcome to comment immediately after Josh S, but his comment does not count towards the sequence. He must comment again after QuadSevens comments.
• If a team member drops the ball and does not comment, that person's turn can be skipped only after waiting one hour. For example, if Team Deltalina leadoff man Fred's Brim makes his kick-off comment at 10:31am, but then rbnlaw is too busy to notice, Scott must wait until 11:31am to comment and continue the chain (Scott is welcome to comment earlier, but neither his comment nor any subsequent comment in his team's chain will count). In this scenario, rbnlaw will have effectively cost his team 60 minutes. Good job, rbn.
• Rule addition/clarification: Likewise, if two consecutive team members are missing, the person following those two must wait two hours before commenting, and so on.
• The game ends when either a) one team gets through its 14-member lineup, or b) at 10pm PT. In the latter case, whichever team got further through its lineup wins (in the case of a tie, whichever team's last commenter in the chain commented first wins).

Make sense? If not, ask questions here. Otherwise, see you tomorrow sometime between 8am and 12pm! And remember, the above only applies to Round I-A. The rules for Round I-B will be posted tomorrow.

If You Fall for This, You Deserve to Lose Money

From the SoSG mailbag:

Subject: IRS Notification - Tax Refund
From: service@irs.gov
Date: 11/28/2009 6:46 AM

After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we have determined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $648.50.
Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 3-6 days in order to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons.
For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

Please submit the form attached to your email in order to finish your tax refund

Note: For security reasons, we will record your ip-address, the date and time. Deliberate wrong inputs are criminally pursued and indicated.

Regards,
Internal Revenue Service

Copyright 2009, Internal Revenue Service U.S.A. All rights reserved.

Wow, the IRS is so hard up for money they can't afford to hire a proofreader. And why do they need my credit card number? And ATM PIN? And my mother's maiden name? Well, better give those to them just to be safe.

C'mon, cyberthieves! It's like you're not even trying anymore!