Thursday, December 13, 2007

Guilt-O-Meter

I just wasted almost 15 minutes meticulously reading and re-reading every one of the 409 pages of the just-released Mitchell Report. As a service to our loyal readers, I'm saving you the trouble by summarizing the relative guilt of key players via the infallible metric of how many times their names appear in the report. Here goes (former Dodgers in bold):

  • Jose Canseco: 105
  • Barry Bonds: 104
  • Roger Clemens: 83
  • Jason Giambi: 53
  • Mark McGwire: 46
  • Paul Lo Duca: 37
  • Andy Pettitte: 37
  • Miguel Tejada: 36
  • Rafael Palmeiro: 31
  • Kevin Brown: 20
  • Eric Gagné: 20
  • Gary Matthews, Jr: 17
  • Todd Hundley: 15
  • Adam Riggs: 14
  • Alyssa Milano: 4
  • Sammy Sosa: 1
  • Adrian Beltre: 0

2 comments:

Orel said...

Are you sure Scarlett Johansson isn't on it? Because she looks pretty juiced to me.

Orel said...

Shocking about Beltre, by the way.