Nostry, Bored With SoSG, Slums Over At ESPN Magazine

Look who popped up in the December 1 issue of ESPN the Magazine...none other than Nostradamus, frequent SoSG commenter.

Stuart Scott's column reads as follows:

CJ (Philly): Call me Nostradamus, Stu. I predict that of all of your TV appearances, the one you'll show your grandkids the most is of you playing hoops with Barack Obama.

CJ, does it realy take a Nostradamus to figure that out? That's like predicting that when people go back to look at the history of basketball they'll watch a reel of MJ highlights. Of course I'm going to show my grandkids that video. I've shown it to my kids 14 times already.

Nostry! Why are you slumming with anyone who hangs out with the cast of "She Spies"? I mean, I know it's boring around here at SoSG (probably even more so since you know what's going to happen), but come on, now.

Happy Thanksgiving, SoSG-Maniacs

Courtesy of Sports Illustrated's Holiday approved Turkeys of the Year, I offer up a few poultry highlights. Some would argue this first selection. But for all us non-Braves fans, it's a pretty solid pick.

Apparently, MVP numbers does not provide immunity from the SI turkey carvers.

And in this day of giving, here's video of a high school pitcher and catcher purposely giving it right to an ump. IN HIS FACE!!!

An Answer Or Two For Frank McCourt (At His Request)

There's really not much more to say about this than the great post that Jon had over at DT, coupled with what Rob wrote over at 6-4-2 (and in the course of his post, then referenced an equally great comment from DT--wow, I'm getting dizzy).

For those of you who didn't read the LA Times story today which set off this firestorm of criticism, let me give the context. The article's headline / tagline reads: "Frank and Jamie McCourt have a question for Dodgers fans / Would you rather have a top free agent or 50 youth fields in L.A., Frank and Jamie McCourt wonder."

I'm steaming mad by this point. But the article goes on to outline Frank and Jamie's absurd rhetorical question:

"If you bring somebody in to play and pay them, pick a number, $30 million, does that seem a little weird to you?" Jamie McCourt asked in an interview at the Evergreen Recreation Center in East Los Angeles. "That's what we're trying to figure out. We're really trying to see it through the eyes of our fans. We're really trying to understand, would they rather have the 50 fields?"

I'm going to address this inanity on multiple levels.

1. THE DIRECT ANSWER. Look, buddy, I'm not going to fall for your non-sequitur argument. I participated in Lincoln-Douglass debates in high school, so nice try. Your positioning of these options as mutually exclusive choices is ridiculous and illogical, because quite frankly, I as a Dodger fan should have rights to both. I want to enjoy watching Manny Ramirez on the field next year. And I also want to see the Dodgers give back to the community in ways far different from their begrudging compliance (and scrooge-like donations) with the Dodgers Trolley. And since you've jacked up my season ticket prices and parking prices by over 100% over the past three years, without a commensurate increase in payroll by the way, there's no way that I can't get both. And I deserve both. Don't blame your state of over-leveraged financial mismanagement on me, Frankie, and don't try to use needy children as a shield for why we have yet to sign a productive marquee free agent under your tenure.

I should get Manny. And I should get 50 fields. And, for asking such a stupid question, I should get to kick Frank McCourt in the nuts, too.

2. THE NEXT-LEVEL QUESTION. But let me take the leap and assume that you are financially bankrupt and morally adrift and lost at sea. You're reaching out to the fans, in a major metropolitan newspaper no less, to ask if we would support a charitable pursuit on the Dodgers behalf. Okay, I'll take the bait. Sure, I'd support charity before even Manny Ramirez. But if you're asking for my voice, then I should GET that voice also on exactly where we should spend that money--and it ain't toward 50 baseball fields, Frankie (nor is it toward bailing out the American automobile companies, either, but that's another post). Maybe it's shelter and basic needs for the people who lost homes and possessions in the recent Southern California fires? Or clothes for the kids so they don't have to play baseball on your fields naked? Or toys for tots this Christmas, the worst retail season in decades? If you're going to unilaterally shove it toward baseball fields, and take all the glory for it, then don't pretend it was a democratic process to begin with.

If you want to use the Dodger fans' money to support a worthy charitable cause, then hold an auction or a special event. Or even offer two prices of beer for those who want to donate the incremental revenue difference to the cause. But don't go taking the money I've given you for my tickets, and at the same time erode the quality of the asset that I've come to see perform. That money was supposed to be reinvested in the asset, remember?

3. THE MEDIA QUESTION. Dylan Hernandez is a pretty darn good Dodgers beat writer, but what the hell was he thinking with this post? This article made no sense, and is clearly a puff piece requested by McCourt to take the heat off of what promises to be an empty-handed free agent season. McCourt can't play with the big boys at the high-stakes table, so he tries to get the press to evoke sympathy with a non-sensical tradeoff. Hernandez must be duct-taped to a chair in some basement somewhere, because I can't think of a situation where he would write his article willingly. This is enough to get FJM out of retirement--and surprisingly, Plaschke's not even involved!

The McCourt's circuses (circi?) have gotten tiresome. They can't manage their money, they can't manage their assets, they can't manage the media. The only time they have come out smelling like roses is when their buffoonery has set the bar of expectations so low, that even a mediocre move constitutes a major achievement.

When we start holding Frank McCourt to the standards of a professional franchise owner, he looks like an idiot. Perhaps the charity can begin at home, Frank, with a couple of self-help books for Christmas? Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People" comes to mind.

UPDATE 11/26 1.39p: The LAT article also has a sidebar that posts the binary decision (high-paid free agent a la Manny Ramirez, vs. 50 youth baseball fields) to a vote. With 2,178 responses, "high-paid free agent" has garnered almost 60% of the vote. Christmas spirit be damned, give us a quality team, Frank! (Better tell Neddie to call Boras back, after all.)

Valkyrie Movie Poster Triggers Pac-Man Fever Epidemic

I mean, seriously. When you looked at this poster design, you had to be thinking of power pellets too, right?

NBA Action is Faaantastic!

Lakers 120, Nets 93, Devin Harris 1

Dodgers Rank First On Forbes' "Most Vulnerable Ticket Prices" List

Frank McCourt, master of the ticket (and parking!) price increase: heed this warning! The Dodgers are the most vulnerable professional sports franchise, relative to its recent ticket price increases and the city's economic projections on unemployment and income levels:

It’s generally been true that sports’ biggest appeal is the escape it provides people from the real world, which many are willing to pay for. That’s made the industry better equipped than most to weather any downturn.

But there are limits. It’s clear that some pro teams are anticipating a tough year ahead, the solution for which may be cutting back ticket prices or losing sales. But some markets are in worse shape than others. Which teams around the country are most vulnerable to a fan base with income that isn’t keeping pace with the recent run-ups in ticket prices?

A look at the numbers would suggest that baseball’s Los Angeles Dodgers and New York Yankees and Mets are good candidates. So are the NFL’s Indianapolis Colts and Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and the NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins and New York Rangers.

Why these teams? All are at or near the top of their respective leagues in ticket-price increases over the past three years. Combine that with each city’s 2009 economic prognosis for unemployment and income, and it’s tough to see current ticket prices being sustained much longer. The Dodgers, for example, have jacked up the average cost of a game 44 percent since 2005, to $229 for a family of four, according to Team Marketing Report’s Fan Cost Index. Meanwhile, Moody’s Economy.com projects unemployment in the L.A. metro area will increase by two percentage points by the end of next year, to about 10 percent.

Make sure you go to the bottom and click on the link for the slideshow. Is that Dodger fan (with a handful of tickets in hand) smiling, or weeping?

Who Are You?

In a dual effort to optimize our content and give you something else to waste your (and our) time on, SoSG has hired a leading market research firm to collect reader demographic data through a series of polls. Here is the first one below.

Where do you live?
	Southern California
	West Coast (but not in SoCal)
	East Coast of US
	In the US, but on neither coast
	Outside the US*
Free polls from Pollhost.com

*If you live outside the US, I'd like to hear where. Feel free to comment!

An Answer For The Killers

With this week's release of "Day & Age," SoSG thought it would provide the Killers with some assistance. As far as our research can tell, they are not mutually exclusive options.

Mystery Competition Revealed!

Well, you have each claimed to possess a high tolerance for ridiculousness. Time to put your money where your mouth is.

The Mystery Competition will pit the four teams against each other in a single-elimination tournament of SoSG Baseball. The rules are as follows:

• Each game will consist of one inning.
• As with regular baseball, the team at bat will have its members take turns at bat. Therefore, unlike regular baseball, the batting order is only four deep.
• Unlike 'regular' baseball, the team in the field will also have its members take turns pitching. This is to give everybody approximately equal playing time.
• The result of each at-bat (e.g., a hit or an out) is determined by competing in one of several simple yet inane online games.
• In the morning (I reserve the right to skip some mornings without notice), I will announce the online game that will determine the outcome of the next at-bat. Whoever is scheduled to pitch or bat will have until midnight PT to take a screenshot of their high score in the indicated game and email it to us. Failure to mail in a score results in forfeiture of your at-bat.
• Do not reveal to anyone except SoSG what score you attained. Please don't include it in any comments you post. Doing so will also result in forfeiture of your at-bat.
• Therefore, for each at-bat, SoSG will receive a score from both the pitcher and the batter, and each will be unaware of what the other scored.
• There are five possible outcomes of each at bat: a single, a double, a home run, an out, or a double play. Which outcome applies will be determined by two factors: 1) whose score is higher, and 2) by the last digit of the scores themselves.
• If the batter's score is equal or greater than the pitcher's, then:
  • If the last digit of each score is equal, it is a home run
  • If the last digit of each score is within one of each other, it is a double
  • Otherwise, it is a single
• If the pitcher's score is greater than the batter's, then:
  • If the last digit of each score is equal or within one of each other, it is a double play.
  • Otherwise, it is an out
• Here are some examples:
  • Pitcher scores 55, batter scores 40 -> out
  • Pitcher scores 50, batter scores 131 -> double
  • Pitcher scores 50, batter scores 52 -> single
  • Pitcher scores 40, batter scores 50 -> home run
  • Pitcher scores 50, batter scores 50 -> home run
  • Pitcher scores 51, batter scores 50 -> double play
  • Pitcher scores 50, batter scores 51 -> double
  • Pitcher scores 65, batter scores 36 -> double play
• Furthermore, the following baserunning rules will apply:
  • No runners advance in case of an out.
  • A double play will always erase batter and lead runner
  • A single advances a man from 1st to 2nd and scores a man from 2nd or 3rd.
  • A double scores a man from 1st, 2nd, or 3rd.
• The result of each at bat will be announced a day or two afterwards, and the game status will be adjusted accordingly.

Other than the above, it's EXACTLY like real baseball. And yes, it probably is possible to cheat, either through doctoring your screenshot, rigging the games, or some other way. And we probably won't catch it. But if you're doing that, then come on, you're cheating at this? Really?

Anyhow, here are the team matchups (thanks to Orel for creating the logos):

(click image to enlarge)

So the semifinals have RISPy Business facing off against Sweeney Sour Pork, and Rancho Ardiendo taking on GSoSG (with RISPy Business and Rancho Ardiendo up to bat first). The winners of each showdown will then meet in the final. The teams' initial batting and pitching orders are as listed in the logos, though they will shift after the first run-through to avoid repeating matchups.

So get ready to rumble. Monday morning the competition will begin with the announcement of what online game the leadoff hitters (and pitchers) will compete in. Any questions please post here.

SoSG Introduces Another Time-Wasting Tool To Its Readers

Behold the power that is sporcle. And in fact, let's start out by quizzing you on the Dodgers' ten retired numbers.

You've got four minutes. Go! (I'll confess I got eight out of ten. How did you do?)

Wishing a Speedy Recovery to Chadley

From Josh Rawitch:

Wanted to let everyone know that we've received word that Chad Billingsley, who makes his offseason home in Reading, PA, slipped and fell on ice down stairs outside his house and fractured the fibula in his left leg (lower part of the leg). He had surgery today to put a plate into the leg and will be in a cast for two weeks before beginning rehab. The good news, however, is that by all indications and without any setbacks, he should be ready to be throwing bullpens by the start of Spring Training, which is obviously when all the other pitchers are doing the same.

I'll keep you guys posted as I hear more news, but I guess if you're going to break your leg and you're a baseball player, November is the right time to do it.

Andre Ethier Is Everywhere

Handing out turkeys at Dodger Stadium on Thursday.

Hosting the inaugural* Under the Lights event with Russell Martin on Friday.

Volunteering at the Union Rescue Mission yesterday.

* The next Under the Lights event is scheduled for December 13, with Matt Kemp as host.

photos by Amber Matsumoto/Dodgers

Thank You, Bud, For That Crystal Clarity

According to an edict from the baseball deity known as Bud Selig, there are now three types of baseball games which will not be shortened by weather:

NEW YORK -- There has never been a rain-shortened game in the postseason, and now there never will be.

Baseball commissioner Bud Selig announced the sport will enact a rules change stating that postseason games cannot be shortened because of bad weather.

"All postseason games, All-Star games and that, will be full-length affairs, and the rule will be so written," Selig said Thursday following an owners' meeting.

Okay, so let's recap the types of games that would qualify under the Selig edict:
1. All postseason games.
2. All-Star games.
3. That.

What the hell is "that"? And what is up with "...and the rule will be so written"? Since when does Bud Selig think he's Moses, or possibly Thor?

Selig said the change also will apply to tiebreaker games that decide division titles and wild-card berths.

"Any game that has significance for the postseason," he said. "It will be very clear now. Everybody will know exactly."

Wait a minute, but doesn't every game have significance for the postseason? What if it's game 162 with playoff implications? Or game 161? Or game 40?

Yeah, it's really clear now, Bud. Thanks.

SoSG Mystery Competition: Can You Smell What The Blog Is Cooking?

Ok folks, here's the next tranche of information about the mystery competition. The draft has been completed, and the competition's four teams stand as follows below* (they were formed using a 1-2-3-4-4-3-2-1 methodology based on the sequence you commented in the previous post):

Team A: Ryan, John G, Eric Stephen, Pablo
Team B: Karina, QuadSevens, Cigarcow, Bryan
Team C: Loney Fan, Tony, Fanerman, Dusto Magnifico
Team D: Dr. Geek, Steve, Ryan McGowan, Arrogant Bastard

Take a good look at your teammates, Readers, because from today onward, the men and women you see at your side are the only friends you've got.

There will be another post next week, before the Thanksgiving holiday, that will finally reveal the details of the competition, and the competition itself kicks off the following Monday, Dec 1. Until then, each team has a homework assignment: to come up with a team name. Just post your suggestions for your team name here (nothing truly offensive, and please keep it under, say, 16 characters), and I'll use my power as commissioner to pick one suggestion for each team.

Otherwise, rest up your mind and body for the impending battle, and stay tuned!

*My apologies to Julie Hibbard, DanGarion, Matthew, Jackie, and Baseball Cynic who missed the cutoff. You will be given special consideration if the competition expands in the future.

Update: Also, please make sure you know how to capture a screenshot on your computer. This will be important

Luckily, "Road Ranch" Was Already Taken

From dodgers.com, Dodgers give name to new spring site: Joint facility with White Sox will be called 'Camelback Ranch':

LOS ANGELES -- The Dodgers and White Sox announced Thursday that their new joint venture Spring Training facility in Glendale, Ariz., will be called "Camelback Ranch."

"The name 'Camelback Ranch' inspires the pioneering spirit of the Dodgers' original move west in 1958 and with our relocation this spring to Arizona, that move is now complete," Dodgers chairman Frank McCourt said in a statement issued by the team. "We believe this facility will be the best in all of Major League Baseball and will provide our team with an unparalleled place to prepare year-round for championship-caliber baseball." [...]

The 141-acre site is located on Camelback Road just west of the Loop 101. The $80 million baseball facility includes more than 118,000 square feet of Major and Minor League clubhouse space, 13 full baseball fields and three half-fields. The site will feature walking trails, landscaped grounds and an orange grove. There will also be two ponds and a fully stocked lake between the Dodgers and White Sox facilities.

Wow, "Camelback Road" begets "Camelback Ranch." Ingenious.

Maybe Camel cigarettes can sponsor an ad on the centerfield fence? Or there can be "Hump Day" promotions? Or we can field a slow-moving team (let's start by re-signing James Baldwin and Jason Phillips?

The possibilities are endless.

Sign Up Here To Reap Your C-4 Reward!

So, dear Readers, your reward for a stunning victory in Connect Four is...meaningful off-season baseball! Yes, SoSG's next shamelessly contrived off-season competition will not only make you stop longing for April, but come next April, you may just start longing for the following November.

What is this upcoming mystery competition, you ask? Well, I'm not saying just yet. But one thing I will say is that unlike Connect Four, you have to sign up to participate. So if you want to participate, post a comment below stating so. We need a minimum number of participants to play, but at the same time space is limited, so spots will be given on a first-come first-serve basis.

Also, keep in mind that in posting your desire to participate, you are agreeing to the following statements:

• I own (or have access to) a computer, an internet connection, and a high tolerance for ridiculousness.
• Over the course of the competition (the next few weeks), I will be able to check SoSG reasonably often for further instructions and updates (maybe once or so per day), or risk letting down the team.
• I understand the rules of baseball, but am willing to bend them.
• I agree to participate in activities that require far less intelligence than Connect Four.
• I understand that by participating, I might be publicly exposed as being highly skilled at said low-intelligence activities.
• I understand this mystery competition is highly experimental, and thus may crash and burn upon execution.

So who's in? If so, post below, and stay tuned for more details!

Update: All initial spots have been filled. There may be opportunity down the road for further entrants, but let's first see how this initial run goes...

Seattle Mariners Make Historic Hire

Congratulations to Don Wakamatsu, the new manager of the Seattle Mariners.

SEATTLE -- Don Wakamatsu became the first Asian-American manager in major league baseball history when he was hired Wednesday by the Seattle Mariners.

The 14th manager in Mariners history, Wakamatsu was bench coach for the Oakland Athletics last season. Before that he spent five years with the Texas Rangers.

The 45-year-old was among a field of seven candidates interviewed by Mariners general manager Jack Zdurencik. None of the seven had previous major league managerial experience.

Wakamatsu, a former catcher, spent almost his entire playing career in the minors, except for 18 games with the Chicago White Sox in 1991.

His final season in the minors was in 1996 as player-coach of the Mariners' Double-A Port City farm team.

I Know What I'm Getting EK for Christmas

Thanks (again!) to tireless SoSG reader Julie Hibbard for the heads up!

Lesser-Known MLB Awards Sound Eerily Familiar

A cute little infographic went up last week over at The Onion, detailing "Lesser-Known Awards in Major League Baseball". As to be expected from The Onion, there were some great nuggets (John Kruk's award led the pack), but also this:

Player of the Inning Pen: Awarded every inning of each game to the player who best exemplifies that inning

Hmm. Sounds perilously similar to the "Rookie of the Minute" Award we mentioned back in June 2008, right? (Except for the fact that The Onion's was funny, and ours wasn't. Alas, we keep trying.)

MLB.com Selling Tiny People

(Click on picture for actual product.)

Earlier tiny person content at SoSG: Now You Can Be a Genderless, Ethnically Neutral, Four-Batting-Glove-Wearing Homunculus in a Poorly Photoshopped Dodger Victory Mélange