Fri, 7:15p postponed until 4/28: Kenta Maeda vs Derek Holland
Sat, 1p: Rich Hill vs Chris Stratton SF 7, LAD 5 (14)
Sun 1p: Clayton Kershaw vs Ty Blach LAD 2, SF 1 (10)
Fear not, Dodger faithful! Our front office's extremely proactive off-season is about to pay off!
I know, it's hard to believe Stan Kasten loosened the purse strings so the Dodgers could trade a few scrub prospects for mega-slugger Giancarlo "Don't Call Me Mike" Stanton, but he did! Now Stanton is playing for the team he grew up rooting for!
And what luck we had when double threat Shohei Ohtani decided to pick the Dodgers to play for, joining his countryman Yu Darvish, who was signed when Friedman & Farhan dug in the couch cushions to find some spare change to shore up the rotation.
And thank god the Dodgers finally cut bait on deadweight Pedro Baez and re-invested in a real middle reliever, Brandon Morrow.
We're locked and loaded! It's going to be a great year, Dodger fans! Let's play — WAKES UP
DAMMIT
(cries)