So Wrong, Yet So Right

From Marlins.com:

Five Reasons the Dodgers Should Re-sign Derek Lowe

After losing Brad Penny to the Red Sox, Greg Maddux to retirement and Jason Schmidt to a moneybags lifting-related shoulder injury, the Dodgers are shopping for a starting pitcher or two. Both Tony Jackson of the Daily News and Tim Brown of Yahoo! Sports agree Ned Colletti is considering Jon Garland, Braden Looper and/or Randy Wolf.

Meanwhile, Derek Lowe, one of the Dodgers' most consistent starters in recent history, seems certain to land anywhere but back in Los Angeles. Lowe hasn't accepted a three-year, $36 million offer from the Mets and is rumored to be talking to the Braves.

Lowe is far from an ideal free-agent signing; he turns 36 this season and has seen his name in the gossip pages one too many times. Yet those drawbacks are outweighed by the reasons to bring him back:

1. If you're going to sign an aging pitcher, sign one who induces a lot of ground balls. Lowe, second only to Brandon Webb in GO/AO (ground out to fly out ratio) last year, also pitches especially well at Dodger Stadium. Writes ESPN.com's Rob Neyer, "Lowe has shown no signs of slowing down, and healthy pitchers who rely on hard sinkers have generally aged gracefully."

2. The Dodgers can afford him. Lowe won't be commanding CC Sabathia dollars, and with $36 million to $45 million of expiring contracts coming off the Dodger payroll—not including the recent dumping of Andruw "Deadweight" Jones—Colletti should have the financial flexibility to sign Lowe.

3. He's steady. As Chad Billingsley matures into the anchor of the Dodgers' rotation, the less seasoned or less predictable pitchers—Clayton Kershaw, Hiroki Kuroda—would benefit from another stable performer. Lowe is no "Professor" Maddux, but he's got that veteran presence Colletti values so dearly.

4. He's clean. Have you seen Lowe without a cap? If the dude were taking steroids, he'd also be Rogaine-ing that baldness away.

5. He's the best left. Sure, Sabathia would have been nice. But he's gone. As is A.J. Burnett. Even Randy Johnson has been signed. Ben Sheets is intriguing, but do the Dodgers want to take a chance on another injury risk? Lowe is the best remaining starting pitcher on the market.

With the NL West coming off another weak year, winning now is an option for all its teams. (Except the Padres. They're just a mess.) Unfortunately, neither the Dodgers nor Lowe seem interested in defending their division championship together again.

UPDATE:

Sources: Braves, Lowe agree on deal (ESPN.com)

Because That Worked Out So Well the First Time: Red Sox Sign Another Dodger Closer

So long, Sammy: Former Dodger closer Takashi Saito is joining the Red Sox in a one-year deal that guarantees "between $1.5 million and $2.5 million" and could escalate to $7 million.

Strangely, the Dodgers "were only willing to take as much risk as a $2.5 million contract plus incentives," according to Ken Gurnick at Dodgers.com, but we're guessing those incentives weren't in Boston's $7 million range.

Also, never underestimate the perception of disrespect when your old team offers only a token raise during tough negotiations. $2.5 million and "we want you" (Red Sox) is more appealing than $2.5 million and "we'll take you" (Dodgers).

It hasn't been a particularly rewarding MLB career for Saito; after proving he can compete in the majors by earning 81 saves over three years for the Dodgers, he's back to one-year contracts and will never sniff Eric Gagne money.

Meanwhile, Ned Colletti rids himself of a reliever who will soon be 39 years old with what will be a minimum of fuss from Dodgers fans. The only way this move bites Colletti in the ass is if Saito has an amazing season for Boston. And that could never happen...right?

photo by Ben Liebenberg/WireImage.com

Do You Have $500 Burning a Hole in Your Pocket?

Then the next Under the Lights may be for you! Under the Lights is essentially a three-hour party at Dodger Stadium where fans get the run of the field and clubhouse. An open beer and wine bar ensures adults can get their share of the fun ("Let's break into Ned's office and have sex on his desk!").

But the main attraction for both kids and adults is "the chance to mingle with both current and former Dodger greats"; past installments have been hosted by Russell Martin, Andre Ethier and Matt Kemp. The next night is on January 17 and will be hosted by James Loney and Kemp.

As always—if you go, we want pix!

Earlier: Your Chance to Drink, Play the Field, Get to Third Base and Shag with Russell & Andre, Andre Ethier Is Everywhere

Estes One Step Closer to Rarefied Air of NL West Journeymen

Steve Finley. Matt Herges. Members of an exclusive club, to be sure. A club of baseball players who have never dated Alyssa Milano? No. Both Finley and Herges became the first players to have played for all five NL West teams when they joined Colorado in 2007.

And now this Dynamic Duo might become a Terrible Threesome. The Dodgers signed Shawn Estes to a minor-league contract earlier today. Should Estes make the club, he could earn up to $1.55 million—and more importantly, join the few. The proud. The NL West journeymen.

Earlier: Steve Finley Takes First Step Toward NL West Pentafecta (SoSG, 2007)

Thanks to billsportsmaps.com for putting all the NL West logos in one place.

SoSG Baseball Finals, Day 5

Loney Fan gets GSoSG out of the inning with no damage, inducing a flyout from Dr. Geek. So on to the bottom of the inning, where Loney Fan now turns around and steps to the plate against R. McGowan. Here's the game.

Please send in your scores by midnight. Good luck!

Hoffman Spurns Dodgers for Brewers

The Dodgers continue to play in a fantasy world when it comes to signing top-tier players, expecting the intangible "mystique" of the organization to compensate for any monetary gaps in a contract offer. Well, guess who just took the money.

Can you blame Trevor Hoffman for taking the Brewers' $6M offer over the Dodgers' "$4M+" offer? Both were one-year contracts. What offer would you take?

It is ludicrous to think that Frank McCourt's shadow over this organization has an accretive impact on the mystique. In fact, he probably has given the Dodgers a negative impression as a "great place to work" or "a top-tier organization". And in the end, money talks a hell of a lot more than Frank and Ned's grandstanding.

Of course, Frank and Ned will be disappointed, as they thought their offer was fair. In fact, according to the LA Times, the Dodgers' offer hinged upon Hoffman valuing proximity to Southern California:

"He's got three young boys, so he could go home a lot more if he signs with Los Angeles," Brewers General Manager Doug Melvin told the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. "That's what free agency allows a player to do -- pick where it's best suited for him to play."

Melvin saw this coming a mile away, so he offered more money. And he won the auction for Hoffman outright. $1-$2M can buy a lot of airline flights between Milwaukee and San Diego. But Hoffman had figured that out already.

Five More Ways the NL West Can Take a Dump on the Heads of Padres Fans

Times are tough for San Diego fans:

• Jake Peavy has been on the trading block for months.
• Brian Giles might be next.
• A former Diamondbacks executive, Jeff Moorad, is positioning his ownership group to buy the Padres.
• Trevor Hoffman, Mr. Padre himself, may be wearing Dodger Blue next season.

And we're still weeks away from spring training!

What did the Padres faithful do to deserve such shoddy treatment at the hands of their division rivals? We may never know...but let's pour some salt in those wounds anyway and imagine what else could go wrong for them:

	1. Tony Gwynn moves to Denver, becomes coach of CU baseball team and special adviser to Rockies GM Dan O'Dowd. Bonus: Denver's thin air causes Tony's voice to finally drop!
	2. To honor San Francisco's proud military tradition, the Giants start wearing camouflage jerseys. And they're such a hit the team immediately starts planning Alcatraz-inspired striped uniforms.
	3. PETCO Park renamed FRONTLINE FLEA & TICK CONTROL Field. On the plus side, the Swinging Friar becomes blissfully itch-free.
	4. Bud Black returns to the Angels as pitching coach; Jim Tracy hired as new manager. And if he's busy, I'm sure Davey Johnson's available!
	5. The Padres sign Eric Gagne. Ouch.

Knock on wood, Padres fans!

top photo by Don Boomer/North County Times
Tracy photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

SoSG Baseball Finals, Day 4

Last night, GSoSG's Fanerman coaxed a groundout from SSP's Arrogant Bastard. This sets up a two-out, Steve-on-first situation with Dr. Geek at the plate and Loney Fan on the mound. Here's the game.

Please send in your scores by midnight. Good luck!

Dodgers Offer One-Year Deal to "The Hoff"

The Dodgers have offered Baywatch icon David Hasselhoff a one-year contract to be their figurehead, team sources say. Hasselhoff would replace Frank McCourt as the face of the organization, although McCourt would retain his duties as owner and chairman.

"David Hasselhoff would bring an unprecedented amount of legitimacy to the Dodger organization," said Dodger GM Ned Colletti. "Although he is most closely identified with the beaches of Malibu, we feel his universal appeal would be a perfect fit for Chavez Ravine—er, Dodgertown."

Hasselhoff, the all-time leader in Hearts Set Aflutter (HSA), famously makes his entrance into a game to "I'm Always Here" by Jimi Jamison (of 80's rock band Survivor). If Hasselhoff is signed, the Dodgers will negotiate with AC/DC to produce an updated version of the song.

Elsewhere: Dodgers offer one-year deal to all-time save leader Trevor Hoffman (LA Times)

Going...Going...Gonorrhea! Oft-Traded Alyssa Milano Taken Off Market

She's gotten engaged to talent agent David Bugliari. My condolences to any readers who didn't get their turn in before this happened.

SoSG Baseball Finals, Day 3

In yesterday's plate appearances, GSoSG's Tony struckout R. McGowan to kick off the inning, but then Steve looped a one-out single into leftfield off D. Magnifico. So Fanerman faces a one-on, one-out situation with A. Bastard coming to the place. Here's the game board, and this is the game.

You guys know what to do. Good luck!

Halberstam on Walking Eagle—Er, Lasorda

From Everything They Had: Sports Writing from David Halberstam:

Tommy Lasorda was a good front for it all, a man of the organization who not only articulated the team's myth but propagated it himself. Walking Eagle, some of the older players called him, meaning that he was so full of shit he could not fly.

SoSG Baseball Finals, Days 1 & 2

OK, so the fast food game doesn't work with the Mac (thanks for the heads-up R. McGowan). So we're having a double-header! In other words, today there will be two matchups, each with their own game, and both due at midnight tonight. Here they are:

At-bat	Game	Sweeney Sour Pork		GSoSG	Due Date
1	This	R. McGowan	vs	Tony	Midnight PT tonight
2	This*	Steve	vs	D. Magnifico	Midnight PT tonight

*for those playing the drummer game, only submit your score through Level 1 (in other words, the first 60 seconds, or the "400 Points to Win" Level). Subsequent levels are not part of this game.

So as always, Tony, R. McGowan, Steve and D. Magnifico, please submit a screenshot of your high score for your respective games before midnight PT tonight, and tomorrow we'll update the game board for both at-bats. And FYI, as I have no way of testing Mac-compatibility, to avoid this problem you may continue to see some familiar games...

The Price of Manny Plummets (Along With Gas Prices)

"Gas is up and so am I," sayeth Manny Ramirez. He scoffed at arbritration. He spit on the Dodgers' first offer (which was admittedly much shorter in duration than he desired).

And now, Pat Burrell goes out and signs a two-year deal with the Rays for the low low price of $16M. Rob Neyer thinks it's a steal, echoing the rest of the ESPN brass.

And I know Burrell only hit .250 last year with the Phillies. But that's still almost twice Andruw Jones' batting average; and, 33 HR is a hell of a lot more than team leader Andre Ethier's 20 HR. Yeah, Citizens Bank Park is a bandbox. But I think Manny, and possibly Adam Dunn, just got a lot cheaper.

Dodger Headcases: Where Are They Now?

Apparently, with the Cubs, as Milton Bradley has reportedly signed a three-year $30M deal. Get ready for increased bottle sales at Wrigley Field!

Given that we still have Juan Pierre, however, I think the Cubs still have the last laugh. At least we've got the 2008 playoffs.

SoSG Baseball Finals, Day 1

SoSG Baseball is back! The Championship Game features Sweeney Sour Pork vs GSoSG.

Today's Matchups and Game: SSP's R. McGowan at the plate vs GSoSG's Tony on the mound. And your game is this. (Note: because scoring in this game always ends in '0', the 2nd-to-last digit will determine the outcome of the at-bat). And just a heads up - be careful about continuing to click once your game ends, as it will re-start the game and erase evidence of your score.

So as always, Tony and R. McGowan, please submit a screenshot of your high score (only your first submission will count) before midnight PT tonight, include your screenname somewhere in your email, and don't reveal your score to anyone but SoSG. Good luck!

Rock of Love Episode 1 Thread: Jan 4, 9pm (VH1)

Bret Michaels (0-2) vs. Twenty Classy Ladies

COMMENTS: Finally, opening day! Lonely-heart Bret Michaels kicks off the next chapter in his ongoing quest for love with pain in his heart but hope in his pants. From buddytv.com:

After two-failed attempts of finding love reality TV style, Bret began to wonder if the error of his ways laid not in how he was trying to find love, but where he was looking for it. So, instead of cozying up in a big old mansion for Season 3 of Rock of Love, he's taken his search on the road, where Bret spends the majority of his time.

Good luck Bret. We're pulling for you, buddy.

Don't Forget About SoSG Baseball!

...starting up again Jan 5. Here's the matchup schedule:

Day	Sweeney Sour Pork		GSoSG
Jan 5	R. McGowan	vs	Tony
Jan 6*	Steve	vs	D. Magnifico
Jan 7*	A. Bastard	vs	Fanerman
Jan 8*	Dr. Geek	vs	Loney Fan

*dates are not guaranteed; a day might be skipped without notice.

Happy New Year from Sons of Steve Garvey!