Game 87 Thread: July 9 vs. Phillies, 7p

Zack Greinke (7-2, 1.48) vs. Severino Gonzalez (3-2, 8.28)

The big story of this game isn't Zack Greinke's scoreless innings streak, or the chance to take the series from the Phillies, or even the Philly Cheesesteak Dog. No, the big story is that, for the first time since SoSG Fest 2014, four Sons (Sax, Orel, Dusty, and me) will be in the same place at the same time. Yes, even at the softball tournament, there were only three Sons in attendance.

Of course, with this many Sons together at a game, we're meddling with some seriously bad juju. To counter that, we'll offer up a couple of our lucky totems from this year:


Lucky Dreamboat Zack!

Lucky boobs!
Hope that helps!

The Curse Of The Mingling Sons

As SoSG Dusty chronicled yesterday, May 14, 2015 was the first game in which two Sons not only mingled at the game, but also may have made sweet sweet love. And, after going an amazing 11-0 this season, that game marked the end of the Sons' undefeated attendance streak in 2015.

It also marked the rare game where the Dodgers scored 4+ runs and lost the game, not to mention an end to the Rockies' 11-game loss streak. And, it was rainy as all get out. But leave weather aside, sports fans: us Sons have diligently been trying to understand the true meaning of this event, sort of like Nicolas Cage in National Treasure. (Except with less overacting.)

From our super-secret What's App message stream:

SoSG Nomo: Is this the first game where [SoSG Dusty] and SoSG AC mingled? Maybe we should have kept you guys apart.

SoSG Dusty: True. I also hung out with [name redacted; not a Son] as well, so he takes some blame.

SoSG AC: And I also saw Rudy Tomjanovich and he's really tall so he gets most of the blame. (true story, btw)

SoSG Nomo: Yeah, I can't figure out the exact science of it, but Son-canoodling seems to increase the chances of a loss. We hung out at the Jackie Robinson game, which was a win, but you were incognito as [identity redacted].... My theory applies to the Stadium (blogger nights seem immune).

SoSG Dusty: The science seems pretty sound on this theory.

SoSG Orel: But Sax and AC were at the two Australia wins last year!

SoSG Dusty: But they were below the equator so everything is opposite. Duh.

SoSG Orel: (slaps forehead)

We've sent this theory to ESPN Stats, the Hardy Boys, and Encyclopedia Brown for further investigation, but SoSG Nomo's theory looks pretty solid at first glance. Until further notice, Sons are not allowed to meet at the Stadium during a game. Or at least, not make sweet sweet love in the aisle.

Texts From Last Night's Game

So here's the texts that I exchanged with my mom during last night's game. I had given up hope after watching the Dodgers bumble through five innings of thoroughly mediocre offense. Clayton Kershaw led off the inning with a single, and then Chone Figgins struck out looking. I was done.

But, ever the Dodgers fan, my mom (who was at the game) had a feeling something good was about to happen. I was skeptical.

She was right.

The Way I Saw It: SoSG Invades the Loge Boxes

My photos won't match the wonderful Killeen's.

My breakdown of the Loge box cost index will pale next to Orel's.


Orel ready for his American Eagle modeling gig.

 
But I was there, man, at a one-of-a-kind SoSGy spectacular, courtesy of our friends THE DODGERS. And it was a joyous night filled with mediocre baseball and the only standing ovation Brandon League will ever see in LA. Besides putting the SoSG succession line at risk, the Sons and Award-winning Team Killeens lived like kings last Wednesday.

We wielded our UNLIMITED POWER.

Though as the sole Android user in the bunch, D.E.L.I.N.O was the only one who actually needed it as my phone died about two innings into the epic battle.

We ordered from the heavily redacted menu.

(Actually, even the laziest of Sons walked the twenty-five feet to the concession stand.)
One of us decided that their smuggled pistachios belonged on an otherwise spotless floor.

There were heartbroken Ryu fans.

And heart-breaking loaded hot dogs.

Most of all, it was a chance for the disparate hooligans and degenerates of the SoSG staff (and poster artistes) to come together as one.

Thank you to the Dodgers for giving us a glimpse of the Loge Box life, and F Brandon League.

SoSG Hits Dodgers' Instagram

Mad props to Scott and BJ Killeen again for this "All Hail Vin" shot, which hit the Dodgers' instagram feed Friday. (Pay no attention to the post-Friday-night game bitch session going on down the right margin.)

Thanks, Dodgers!

Game 65 Thread: June 12 vs. D'Bags, 7p

Hyun-Jin Ryu (6-2, 2.72) vs. Patrick Corbin (9-0, 1.98)

When the Dodgers and Padres brawled back in April, that was the last game of the series. They got some time to cool off. This time, the Dodgers and DBacks are going right back at it, and you have to figure things might go nuclear again. Not gonna lie, it would be incredibly satisfying if they can make Corbin burn some and take this series.

But potential violence isn't the biggest story of the night. The biggest story is...

SIX current Sons will all be at the game and sitting together.

Sax, Orel, AC, DelinO, Dusty, and I (along with reader-contributors B.J. and Scott Killeen) will be taking one of Dodger Stadium's new loge party boxes for a spin. This is the largest single gathering of Sons, outside of SoSG Fest. (SoSG Stubbs is locked in a secret bunker to preserve continuity, should things get really ugly tonight.) If you've ever dreamed of having a beer with a snarky baseball nerd, tonight is YOUR NIGHT!

That's right, we're flaunting our identities and location, Iron Man 3 style. Come and get us!*

*Or, y'know, just say hi. Please don't hurt us.

Tonight, At Dodger Stadium

Last night at the Stadium, there was a lot of fighting. Tonight, we bring forth six horsemen of the apocalypse.

Headhunting? We'll take an ear.

Stay tuned for the 4p GT for details.

deviant art illustration swiped from here

So This Happened Last Night

@stevegarvey6 Geez, Pops, you're embarrassing us! (Really though, thanks!)

— Sons of Steve Garvey (@sosgsosg) August 15, 2012

Great reply, Gnomes!

Dodgers Blogger Night 2011 Recap #3: The Lost Blogger Night Videos of the Sons of Steve Garvey

Many of you have wanted to see more revealing videos of the Sons of Steve Garvey themselves, since we hide ourselves behind cloaks of secrecy, obscuring all of our clandestine activities. (And when I say "many", I mean two of you.)

So thanks to the foresight of SoSG's own Delino (who moonlights as a wardrobe maanger), as well as the crappy camera work of SoSG's Steve Sax, here's some behind-the-scenes videos that we hope will be more revealing.

First, the pre-game festivities from Lot P, back in the halcyon days prior to first pitch, when Dodger fans were full of hope:

Second, the post-game coda, part 1:

And finally, part 2 of the coda:

From the Sons To Yous

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

True Tales of the Sons of Steve Garvey: The Phone Call

Earlier this week, one afternoon I got back to my desk at work and the phone rings. I can see it's an out-of-state area code that I recognize. Now, one of the Sons lived in this state years ago, and at one time had a phone number that hailed from this area code. However, this Son has not lived there for at least seven years.

Needless to say, I assume it's this Son calling anyway, so I pick up the phone and say, at the top of my lungs, "Heeeeeeeeeey, JIMBO!"

It was an executive recruiter. Who then said, "Uh hello, I'm looking for [Steve Sax]."

"Er, this is Sax." I don't even know why I acknowledged this at this point. I probably should have hung up the phone altogether, but it was my work line, so I was spinning, and I don't know, I'm an idiot.

But what made it worse was, the recruiter then asked, "Are you waiting for someone else's call?"

Nice.

I think I should just change my outbound message to say, "Heeeeeeeey, JIMBO!", and just take all my calls that way. Oops.