Because I♥JDREW Must Have Been Taken

IN PROGRESS - RED SOX CURSE ALIVE AND WELL

Yes, Delino is DeBack. Right now, in case you get your current baseball info from SoSG instead of any other site with real time scoring:

Red Sox vs Mariners - In the top of the first, Dice K gives up five earned runs on one hit and two CONSECUTIVE Julio Lugo errors. Three walks. One batter hit by pitch.

If you put your ear to a bottle of Samuel Adams, you can already hear the Boston whining. I'm sure Dice K will be worth every one of those two billion nickels the Sox spent on him. But not today.

Dice K Debut Thread

"YOU SEE? YOU SEE? HE'S NOT A MACHINE. HE'S A MAN. HE'S A MAN"

DICE K GETS ROCKED FOR TWO HITS IN FIVE INNINGS!!!

If Daisuke Isn't Swinging, Can We Still Bean Him?

The Red Sox play the Dodgers today in Vero Beach, and a little-known pitcher named Daisuke Matsuzaka will take the mound for the Sox. Given it's a NL home game, this would mean this rookie could get some swings of the bat, right?

Not if manager Terry Francona has anything to say about it:

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- Terry Francona called Daisuke Matsuzaka into his office to show him video of the Japanese pitcher's only home run. Then the Boston Red Sox manager made sure there would be no repeat Friday. Francona told Matsuzaka not to swing when he comes to bat against the Los Angeles Dodgers in a game with no designated hitter at Vero Beach. Francona believes it's not worth risking an injury to the outstanding rookie on a spring training swing even if he did hit a homer last June 9 against ex-major leaguer Darwin Cubillan of Hanshin in an interleague game. Matsuzaka's former club, the Seibu Lions, don't use the DH in the Pacific League. "I called him in yesterday and showed him his home run. I had it on my computer," Francona said before Thursday night's game against the New York Mets. "So I told him I know he's a good hitter and to save it because he's not swinging."

Here's hoping Dodger starter Hong-Chih Kuo pitches 'em high and inside. First pitch, 10.10a PDT.

Mmm... Gyro Ball

Gyroball remains a mystery! So does the Japanese translation of "taziki."

Actually, if you care, it's ザジキ

The Diceman Cometh

Breaking news - The Red Sox have signed a Japanese player!

After 100,000 articles and a dreadful nickname, Daisuke Matsuzaka is starting today against Boston College (home of Doug Flutie, John Kerry, and "The Powers of Matthew Star" director Leonard Nimoy). I for one hopes he strikes out the first 100 batters he faces, or else Red Sox nation will immediately go back to their whiny kvetching.

Meanwhile... DICE K? It's worse than all of Sean Combs names put together. To me, LT will always be Lawrence Taylor, TO is Toronto (aka The T Dot), and there's only one Diceman...

Boston Creaming Itself Over Matsuzaka

Jayson Stark: "Matsuzaka's arrival becomes an international incident"

In other Red Sox news, J.D. Drew could be on the Boston payroll for a looooong time:

FORT MYERS, Fla. (AP) -- J.D. Drew might have to wait until 2030 to get all the money in his contract if he gets hurt.

Drew's $70 million contract with the Boston Red Sox was finalized Wednesday, a deal that pays the outfielder $14 million for each of the next five seasons. But if he doesn't play at least 500 games from 2007-10 or 375 from 2008-10, then $9 million of his 2011 salary would be deferred at 1 percent interest.

The 31-year-old Drew would receive the money and interest each July 1 starting with payments of $500,000 in 2022 and $750,000 in 2023. He then would get $1 million annually from 2024-29 and $1.75 million in 2030.

So if he gets hurt, it's as if J.D. Drew will be forced to win the lottery with the yearly payout option instead of getting the lump sum. That'll learn him.

Rookie Watch Begins

Ah, rookies. Like being set up on a blind date with someone named "Candy," the rookie ballplayer offers a world of promise.

Alan Schwarz at ESPN.com offers a look at the "Majors' best rookies (not named Matsuzaka)" (for whom Schwarz predicts at least 16 wins with a 3.20 ERA "for a postseason contender"—glad to see expectations aren't running amok):

• 1. Delmon Young, RF, Devil Rays (pride of "Camirillo [sic] HS"!)
  
• 2. Alex Gordon, 3B, Royals
  
• 3. Matt Garza, RHP, Twins
  
• 4. Troy Tulowitzki, SS, Rockies
  
• 5. Tim Lincecum, RHP, Giants
  

And for the Schadenfreude-minded, Schwarz updates us on former Dodger super-prospect Joel Guzman:

Cold Plate Special: Joel Guzman, D-Rays
This former Dominican bonus baby once made scouts drool more than padded bleachers. A do-it-all slugging shortstop with the Dodgers, Joel Guzman never developed much after that and wound up being traded to Tampa Bay last July as a mid-range prospect going south. He's still immense (6-foot-5, 250 pounds), just 22 and has as much raw power as any young player you'll find. Yet problems with plate discipline and inside stuff have handcuffed him at the higher levels, and he looks more like the Ruben Rivera than much else.

Can Ned dodge the bullet of trading Guzman? (shakes Magic 8-Ball) ASK AGAIN LATER

UPDATE: Keith Law profiles Gordon and other prospects here.

A Nation Drools

"Dude, check out Vida Guerra's back end."

From "15 questions for 2007" by Mark Newman at MLB.com:

What is the biggest sight to behold in 2007?
It should be visible right off the bat, in the second week of the season. Boston opens its home schedule with an April 10-12 series against Seattle, and that means that the first pitch in one of those games will be from Daisuke Matsuzaka ($51 million posting fee) to Ichiro Suzuki (No. 51). With an overflow media contingent from Japan expected, it will be a mega-matchup of the two stars who led Japan to the World Baseball Classic title in 2005. The Matsuzaka scrutiny will be well under way by that point, because the Red Sox, who invested a total of $103.1 million in a player who never has thrown a Major League pitch, actually begin the season at Kansas City and Texas.

So be sure to mark April 13 on your calendar as the date we stop hearing about what will certainly be an overhyped matchup.

Getty photo

Boras Putting Words in Mouth of Mrs. Matsuzaka

From a Boston Globe article updating J.D. Drew's status (still unsigned) with the Red Sox (bottom of page):

When [Scott Boras] visited in Japan this summer, Matsuzaka's wife asked for a favor. "She wanted to know if I could get Daisuke the jersey of his favorite player," Boras said. "I thought it might be Ichiro, or [Hideki] Matsui. No -- it was Jason Varitek."

And this was before the Red Sox won bidding rights? Sounds fishy.

Bostonians Expecting an Awful Lot from Matsuzaka

"I'm also dating Bridget Moynahan!"

Enjoy the honeymoon while you can, Daisuke Matsuzaka, because come April you'll find life in Boston isn't all ceremonial hockey pucks and "national treasure" talk.

Blue Jays Poised to Mount Vernon

As referenced here on SoSG before, Vernon Wells is leaning toward the Blue Jays' offer of $126M over seven years. I have to assume that the $126M is in US dollars, though given the way the dollar has fallen, it may be a moot point. $18M/year is pretty lofty, though; I mean, that's Matsuzaka-level money. The odds are apparently "better than 50-50" that Wells will sign.

"How can you not be happy?" asked the ever-rhetorical Wells, 28, who also said he would be willing to remain with the team rather than get more money as a free agent next year. Like the Dodgers, the Blue Jays are building their team around guys who want to play for their franchise.

Unlike the Dodgers, though, the Blue Jays might have a power bat in their lineup. Cue the Manny circus music?

Bosox Mistakenly Sign Japanese Pimp

BOSTON, Mass. (SoSG) — Boston Red Sox officials were shocked and dismayed upon discovering that instead of signing Japanese pitching phenomenon Daisuke Matsuzaka—whose first name is pronounced "Dice-K"—the team has actually signed a pimp named "Andrew Dice-K."

Scott Boras, agent for both player and playa, escorted the fur-lined hoodie-wearing pimp Dice-K from a private jet at a Boston Airport. "This is a great day for agents negotiating with teams too rushed to read fine print," Boras told a local reporter.

AP Photo/Charles Krupa