Do You See Where This Is Going?

Charlie Sheen at Dodger Stadium yesterday.

Larry King at Dodger Stadium in 2010.

1: Juan Ocampo/ Dodgers; 2: Danny Moloshok/Reuters

The Most Surprising Part of the Charlie Sheen Roast

Besides having even one second which found both Steve O and Charlie Sheen actually sober, was one producer's name which should be familiar to the SoSG faithful.

I did some digging, and apparently the former Dodger-Met-Rockie-Yankee-Expo-Ranger-Marlin-Cub-Blue Jay-Oriole-Phillie-Cardinal is BFF's with Mr. Sheen.

- Charlie Sheen was quoted as saying "Todd Zeile is a Gnarls Gnarlington"

- Zeile was in fact one of three sports figures who Sheen deemed worthy of the Gnarls Gnarlington tag in fact. The other two? Mark Cuban and Reggie Jackson

- Mr. Zeile appeared in the movie ZOOKEEPER.

- Todd Zeile runs a production company, which released the movie Dirty Deeds. Though it only made $1.3 thousand dollars opening weekend, the movie does have a legit cast (including Lacey Chabert and Mr. Zeile himself)

I've always had a soft spot for Zeile, especially when he got a home run in his final at-bat. (A rare feat indeed - which Ted Williams' frozen head can also brag about doing.)

Good to see Zeile's doing better than Charlie Sheen's beloved Vatican assassin, Lenny Dykstra.

An Unlikely Hero

The Charlie Sheen Helping His Fellow Man Tour continues. Days after bailing out Vatican assassin Lenny Dykstra from jail, Mr. Sheen is turning his attention to assault victim Brian Stow.

Proceeds from any merchandise sold at the actor's weekend show -- part of his six-week "Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option" tour -- will benefit the medical fund set up for assault victim Brian Stow, the rep told the Hollywood Reporter Thursday.

This is not the first time the 45-year-old Sheen has used his tour to offer to raise money. He organized a last-minute walk to raise money for bipolar disease when his tour was in Toronto in April. However, the group he had promised to give the money to expressed frustration days later saying they hadn't seen any cash. Sheen's business manager later assured the group, the Organization for Bipolar Affective Disorders, the actor would make the donation.

Nice to see Sheen doing a mitzvah for a man in need. Though I'd be careful taking any cash that came in contact with Sheen's hands.

Lenny Dykstra is Such a Mess...

That Charlie Sheen had to bail him out!

No, this is not a roast joke c/o (fellow Quaker) Whitney Cummings. From the NY Post:

LOS ANGELES -- Charlie Sheen paid $22,500 to bail former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny "Nails" Dykstra out of jail, TMZ reported Tuesday. Dykstra, who was charged earlier this month with bankruptcy fraud, was held on $150,000 bail for nearly a week until Sheen put forward 15 percent of the payment.

Sheen said, "The rendition guilty trolls that kidnapped my dear friend Nails clearly forgot that he's a fellow Vatican assassin and his best pal is a warlock."

Dykstra has previously come to Sheen's aid, hiring a top lawyer to negotiate the troubled actor's return to "Two and a Half Men" after the 45-year-old was fired from the sitcom in March.

Prosecutors claim that Dykstra, 48, sold $400,000 worth of items from his $18 million mansion in southern California without permission. He faces up to five years in a federal prison if convicted. As well as fraud charges, the former three-time All-Star was being investigated by the LAPD for lewd conduct after a woman claimed he stripped off and requested a massage when he interviewed her for a housekeeper role.

Good to know that Vatican assassins and Warlocks have such a strong bond.

Apparently, when Dykstra took out a few hundred dollars from his wallet (while squatting in his now empty mansion) to show Real Sports he was financially sound, he was LYING. For shame.