Series Thread (Games 147-150): Sept 13-16 @ Cardinals

Thurs 9/13 4.15p: Kershaw vs. Gomber
Fri 9/14 5.15p: Buehler vs. Flaherty
Sat 9/15 10a: Hill vs. Gant
Sun 9/16 5p: TBD vs. Wainwright

Look, I could write something about how this is a critical four-game series for the Dodgers, 1.0 games out of the NL West lead with only 16 to play (pending completion of the AZ@COL game on Wednesday 9/12). There's still time, anything can happen, blah blah blah.

But let's face it, this year is toast, having lost all momentum following an absolutely pathetic series loss (and almost sweep) in Cincinnati, which drops us to 1-6 on the season against one of the worst teams in baseball.

Whose breakout star is named after a muppet.

Instead, it's time to look critically at this team and accept the fact that, despite bringing almost everyone back from last year's NL-champion squad, and witnessing a few bright surprises in Max Muncy and Walker Buehler, we've seen regressions across the board for this team:

• CT3 is the king of Ks
• Turner, our rock-solid bat, spent most of the year injured
• Joc and Kike are worse than last year from the plate
• Yaz is not only a defensive liability, his cold streaks at the plate are death to the lineup
• Bellinger has struggled against the shift and, despite a good August (on which my brother can't stop reminding me), has been moribund all year
• Kemp had a surprising first half but has fallen to earth
• As has Chicken Strips and Wood
• Dozier is batting .193 with the Dodgers, which is shockingly even worse than Logiebear was
• Utley is old
• Kenley is not Kenley
• Kershaw, again injured, also doesn't have his best stuff this year
• Our bullpen is unreliable, and Pedro Baez is still there
• Charley Steiner is mixing up his calls
• Rick Monday still can't tell us the score of the game
• Dieter's organ is sounding more tinny than last year
• Digital bobbleheads are a stupid idea
• The new netting makes the outfield scoreboards difficult to read
• The hat shuffle is too fucking difficult with seven hats
• There are no dippin' dots in the future
• There are probably no playoffs in our future, either

On the flipside, though, there is a positive side of the ledger (as SoSG Dusty reminded me):

• We can get beer in our seats now

So I guess all is not lost, he says. I suppose he's right.

but it sure feels that way

(cries)