Thursday, September 30, 2010

Tainted Meat

"Josh S., I'm doing this face for you! @__@"

Wow, I'd heard a lot of creative excuses before, but cyclist Alberto Contador takes the cake when suggesting how he could have tested positive for doping in his sport where drugs are omnipresent and ubiquitous. "Tainted meat." Nice.

Sometimes I feel I've got to
Bike away I've got to
Get away
From the pain of climbing on two wheels
The Tour's a bear
Unless your muscles repair
And I stand more tall
When I get a dose of clenbuterol

Once I tried the meat
Now, I can't be beat
This tainted meat you've given
I go and win the Tour and then you
Take my prize and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted meat
Tainted meat

Everybody now!

It's too bad Contador's meat was tainted. If only someone had slipped him the salami.

photo: Denis Doyle / Getty Images

30 comments:

Fred's Brim said...

please tell me this doesn't have anything to do with Mr C's salami.

*dials all but last number of my doctor, awaiting response*

Josh S. said...

Ooh, baby, baby,
Where did our meat go?

MeanieBreanie said...

Saxy, you are on a roll my friend. Another example of your creative genious. Love that song however it is now forever tainted by that video.

Mr. Customer said...

@FB

You're in the clear. That man must be getting tainted meat elsewhere.

MeanieBreanie said...

@Josh
"Ooh, baby, baby,
Where did our meat go"?

You know the next lines of that song are:

I've got this yearning, burning
yearning feelin' inside me
Ooh, deep inside me and it hurts so bad

You pervs out there I promise I am not making it up.

karina said...

if this is still about Mr C's slipping the salami comment, that comment should get an agent or at least a secretary.

I wonder how long my last bits of my innocence will last if I keep hanging out in here.

Spanky said...

What is going on with this blog and why was I not invited?

Josh S. said...

That is an EPIC Muppet face.

Steve Sax said...

Indeed. You can almost see Jim Henson's hand up Contador's ass.

Whoops, my bad, that's a salami.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Muppet face, you say?

Steve Sax said...

Alberto and Fozzie, separated at birth

Mr. Customer said...

This song is still stuck in my head!

Thanks for that.

MeanieBreanie said...

It's stuck in mine as well. Thanks Saxy.

Alas MB is heartbroken. Spanky after promising to be faithful and true announces on our SoSG fantasy football sight that he has changed his team name to VD Kotitnbrotit. This brings a whole new meaning to tainted meat.

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love

Spanky said...

Our first bump in the road. This is cause for an extreme measure of AWESOME proportions

Stay Tuned

Spanky said...

BTW, I blame MR.F for bringing up syphlis that led to the inspiration of the name. See what I get for hanging out with you guys

MeanieBreanie said...

Go ahead and blame Mr F. He's not even on this thread to be able to defend himself. Would you like a shovel to dig yourself a little deeper?

Spanky said...

Is asking for a hoe too much to ask?

MeanieBreanie said...

You ask for a hoe? I think you already had one of those. The naked fish runs were just an excuse for other extra curricular activities.

Spanky said...

Those naked fish runs are legit. I like running in the nude and I defend myself from the neighborhood dogs with those fish.

MeanieBreanie said...

You bait those dogs like you bait me ;~)
I guess I will let the Sharktopus slide.

Spanktopus said...

It's Spanktopus now,Baby. Yeah!

MeanieBreanie said...

You never cease to amaze me. Spank-to-pus? Things just went from bad to worse.

Spanktopus said...

Pay for the ticket. Take the ride.

MR. F said...

I didn't even bring up the syphilis! I believe it was Mr. C.

MeanieBreanie said...

Mr. F you are exonerated. As for you Spank "Pay for the ticket. Take the ride". Where are those AWESOME proportions you promised?

"Our first bump in the road. This is cause for an extreme measure of AWESOME proportions"

Stay Tuned

MeanieBreanie said...

Trying to erase the surly factor. Out the door for cocktails with friends. Ciao for now.

rbnlaw said...

Where the hell have I been?
This thread is AWESOME.

By the way, Contador is crying little punk from Madrid (actually Pinto). May the Basques spit on him as he passes them in the Pyrenees in 2013. . .providing the ban holds up.

Mr. Customer said...

Alas, I did bring up the syphilis.

Spanktopus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spanktopus said...

"Where are those AWESOME proportions you promised?"


Come to daddy and collect.


I'm the SPANKTOPUS DAMMIT!